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Sorry I changed my mind about you being MOH


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#11 emme

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    Posted 31 August 2009 - 02:24 AM

    I really like the JR MOH idea as well...

    I am in the same type of situation. My FI and I have children from previous relationships. I have a 15 year old daughter and he has 2 sons who are 11 and 8. To us, our "family" is one of the most important parts of this whole marriage. We are having our children as the MOH and Best Men. We also each have 3 BM and 3 GM. I have explained to my best friend...that she is my "unspoken" MOH and she totally gets it. She would never want to take away that honor from my daughter. We also know that my best friend needs to sign the register and set up the stagette...obviously because of their ages...but on our programs we will list our children with the most important titles and they will stand right next to us on the day that we marry. I just really couldn't even imagine it any other way.

    One more thing that I should add is that a DW is somewhat untraditional...therefore even though our bridal parties will be lopsided (5 boys, 4 girls)...it still works out fairly well in an untraditional way. The youngest boy will walk out with the flower girls to guide them in the right direction...the older boy will walk out with the rings (no ring bearer)...and the oldest girl will walk right before I do with my Dad.

    I really believe that with a DW...anything goes :)
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    #12 Lashawn

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      Posted 31 August 2009 - 02:35 AM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by emme
      I really like the JR MOH idea as well...

      I am in the same type of situation. My FI and I have children from previous relationships. I have a 15 year old daughter and he has 2 sons who are 11 and 8. To us, our "family" is one of the most important parts of this whole marriage. We are having our children as the MOH and Best Men. We also each have 3 BM and 3 GM. I have explained to my best friend...that she is my "unspoken" MOH and she totally gets it. She would never want to take away that honor from my daughter. We also know that my best friend needs to sign the register and set up the stagette...obviously because of their ages...but on our programs we will list our children with the most important titles and they will stand right next to us on the day that we marry. I just really couldn't even imagine it any other way.

      One more thing that I should add is that a DW is somewhat untraditional...therefore even though our bridal parties will be lopsided (5 boys, 4 girls)...it still works out fairly well in an untraditional way. The youngest boy will walk out with the flower girls to guide them in the right direction...the older boy will walk out with the rings (no ring bearer)...and the oldest girl will walk right before I do with my Dad.

      I really believe that with a DW...anything goes :)
      That sounds so nice.. I will definitely consider keeping her as my MOH and adding the title "Jr." I want to keep her as one of the most important members of the bridal party, but also honor my friend who helped me during some really difficult times.

      Thanks ladies for all of your comments, I really appreciate the input.

      #13 itsfinallyhere

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        Posted 31 August 2009 - 07:46 AM

        I think it is wonderful that you asked her, and I understand how and why things changed. The first thing I would do is check and see if legally she is allowed to be MOH. Can she sign the paper work? Is she old enough? And I do know about Mexico but in Cuba relations to the bride or groom cannot be the witnesses for signatures on documents. If this is the case then you have the perfect reason for having another MOH. I know for me I wanted my sister to sign, but no that can't be. So she is my MOH but I had to ask a friend to be the witness. I hopw this helps a ittle. Good Luck. Also is you want to make her more included, she can always to a reading or participate in a sand ceremony with the two of you.

        #14 jk1101

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          Posted 31 August 2009 - 09:45 AM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by Lashawn
          Hello ladies.. I need some advice. My future hubby has a 14 yr old daughter. I asked her to be my MOH because we initially decided that it would just be us and our parents. Then we decided to send out 50 invites and have 2 people each in our wedding party. Now that I chose 2 of my close girlfriends, I don't want his daughter to be the MOH, but a bridesmaid instead. She is very non chalant about most things.. do you think I can make the switch without hurting anyones feelings?
          She may be nonchalant about most things but her father's future wife is about to kick her out of the wedding party....I know you're not doing that, but teenagers are dramatic, and you are about to marry her dad and asking her to be the MOH was a huge honor that you want to take away. Making her a Jr or Co MOH might be ok, but she is still a kid in a lot of respects and her feelings might be hurt more than you realize.... If this other person is your BFF she will have a much easier time understanding this situation than your future step daughter, and take the bridesmaid title more easily.

          #15 karenk77

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            Posted 31 August 2009 - 10:45 AM

            You can call anyone any title that you'd like..or even have them both walk in together as your moh's and the most important females in your life...there are no rules..do what makes you happy..its your day! and maybe have your daughter in law wear an almost identical dress to your friend..make them both feel amazingly special..because having a friend that said the things she said to you is one in a million, and typically women are more likely to tell you drop your man, you are missing out on all the nights, and everything imaginable to take away from your happiness...so when you find the one genuine sincere friend, you are right to want to cherish them..im saying this from the opposite spectrum of having been the one that was happy for everyone, have spent nights talking to friends, having their bf's actually cry to me that they were driving them crazy, drove to hospitals at the crack of dawn when they gave birth, and have even driven some of my friends mothers to doctors when they werent able to. Now it's my time..and some of those same people arent coming to our wedding..so my point in saying all of this is if you have a true friend then you make her feel appreciated.
            They can and should both be important and who says you have to be traditional by having one moh?

            #16 Lady_Di

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              Posted 31 August 2009 - 12:59 PM

              There is no rule for having ONE MOH. You can have two MOHs, your future stepdaughter and your friend.

              I have two MOH, my sister and my close friend.

              #17 KarenM

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                Posted 31 August 2009 - 01:12 PM

                Love the Jr MOH / co-MOH idea. It's obvious how much your friend means to you and you should include her! There's no reason you can't have them both in that position of honor!

                I have 3 girls in my bridal party (2 best friends & a sis-in-law) and basically consider all of them as MOH's, but haven't given anyone a title other than bridesmaid. I love them all so I couldn't just pick one!

                #18 Angela139

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                  Posted 31 August 2009 - 01:15 PM

                  I also think the Jr MOH idea is great! I had a similar issue with my two best friends, I just called them both MOHs. :)

                  #19 josee

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                    Posted 31 August 2009 - 01:27 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by Lady_Di
                    There is no rule for having ONE MOH. You can have two MOHs, your future stepdaughter and your friend.

                    I have two MOH, my sister and my close friend.
                    I agree with Lady Di, why not have two MOH. This way you will not hurt your future stepdaughter's feelings.

                    #20 Yari

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                      Posted 31 August 2009 - 01:34 PM

                      Sorry for not agreeing with the masses...I do not think it's ok for you to demote her at all. How sad! This is your future step-daughter. You already asked her and she agreed, period. I feel that it's pretty selfish. To add a Jr title is a slap in the face, she is 14 not 5, she knows what is going on.




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