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I need some advice PLEASE :/ (bridal party)

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#11 bdegreeff

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    Posted 29 August 2009 - 06:54 PM

    I also agree with just having a best man and moh. My fiance and I are doing the same. We are inviting all friends who would have been in our wedding party to be guests, but this way they don't feel obligated to spend the money if they don't have it, and we don't have to worry about evening out the numbers if one of my friends can't make it but all of his can.

    #12 SSNM

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      Posted 30 August 2009 - 11:38 AM

      I had the same problem; asked 6 people to be my BM when planning a local wedding and then decided on a destination. I just let them know my plans have changed and I am re-evaluating the feasibility of a large bridal party. I also anticipate some of them not being able to come since the expense has drastically increased. Just be honest with them as everyone said and I am sure they will understandn...or be relieved. You never know.

      #13 amandalsu

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        Posted 30 August 2009 - 11:49 AM

        I had to have a similar conversation with a few that expected to be a part of my wedding party. We decided on my sister for MOH and his brother for BM only. I told the others, I would rather them save the money they would have spent on being in the bridal party and use it to turn my DW into a great vacation for them. They are already one of the few friends actually being invited to the wedding so that makes them feel special, and I have asked them to help me get ready on the wedding day. Of course, I will not be asking them to perform bridesmaid duties of throwing showers, setting up things or fetching things for me on the day of. This will allow them to be much more relaxed on the day, wear whatever they want, but still be an important part of my day. They all seemed really happy with this and understood that a wedding of less than 50 doesn't need a bridal party. I wish I would have been given this option for the bridal parties I was part of.

        Plus just picking one each, and it being a family member, no one had their feelings hurt or felt left out. You can't argue with the family card.

        Good luck. If they are really your friends they will support any decision you make!

        #14 kate.com


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          Posted 30 August 2009 - 12:19 PM

          You have options!
          One, see who actually comes- then decide.
          Otherwise, lots of DW brides have their guests in a color scheme of some sort... white weddings, wearing neutrals like white and kahki, etc.
          I chose blue bc I feel like most blues compliment eachother, no matter what shade. I had all of my friends that would have been in my wedding had I chosen a more traditional route wear a blue dress of their choice and just had my sisters/SIL in the actual wedding party. You can still get ready, take pictures with all of your girls.
          If your wedding is only going to be about 20 guests... have all of your girls sit down and you and your man stand alone.
          You can still honor them with a gift like a cute bracelet or whatever but you will save a TON of money, your girls will be able to wear a dress of their choice, and you don't have to "take it back so to speak.

          #15 AmyandRich

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            Posted 30 August 2009 - 07:26 PM

            I would ask everyone to stand with you for the ceremony... and not worry about special dresses or suites.

            #16 luciel2820

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              Posted 01 September 2009 - 03:27 AM

              Thanks a lot everyone.. So Ive come to the decision where I am going to have my sister as MOH and FI's closest cousin as his BM. It is better this way, less stress for me and everyone else. You're right, I know my friends will understand, I just didnt want anyones feelings to get hurt, but im sure everyone will be fine with my decision. Thanks again girls for the great advice... I love this forum <3

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