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Update - cousin having DW same year, and sister wants to be married 3 DAYS after me


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#11 Kristy!

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    Posted 27 August 2009 - 11:38 AM

    That's annoying. But like others have said, Jamaica is much easier to get to and is cheaper, plus people were probably already planning to attend yours. You've definitely got a leg up on her! (I love how I'm pushing the competition, oops!)

    #12 IMPPEARL

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      Posted 27 August 2009 - 11:39 AM

      OH boy do I know this situation well!! After we announced our wedding in Punta Cana last Jan, and after I got my STD invites out by the middle of Jan, my sister in law to be decided that they would be getting married in Mexico in October /09!! Not only did they announce after me but they put their wedding before mine (mine in Jan /10, we wanted to give people time to save). She didn't want to be the last of her brothers and sisters who were married. The stress that this caused the family was not good. Luckily we had announced ours first so people were on our side and said that they would be going to ours and not hers. She had a lot of the family contact her and complain. After a lot squabbling, and here changing her date 3 times (she sent out 3 SDT emails) it worked out in our favor. She got what she wanted wasn't the last in the family married, and had her wedding at home in Aug.

      Anyway I feel for you!! At least you announced first, hopefully people will take that into consideration when deciding. I'm sure it will all work out! Just don't worry about it and continue on with your life and plans. Believe me it’s not worth the stress! I learnt from this experience that people tend to side with the one who doesn’t cause more problems, go with the flow. But do what you want anyway. The important thing is that the people important to you are coming (mom, dad, sisters …), and the rest are a bonus! Good Luck!!
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      #13 amygirl1169

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        Posted 27 August 2009 - 11:46 AM

        Ooohhhh, how crappy
        Wonder if she's on this site already planning her DW

        #14 ~Keira~

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          Posted 27 August 2009 - 11:57 AM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by amygirl1169
          Ooohhhh, how crappy
          Wonder if she's on this site already planning her DW
          Never thought of her being on here too. lol. If she is, well, perhaps it's good for her to hear the opinions of other people too.

          As far as what to do I suppose there isn't much more to do. If I were in this situation I would have my mum go to bat for me. I would get her to talk to my cousins mum to see if she couldn't work some magic on getting my cousin to switch dates.

          It's still over a year away so she can't have done much planning (if any) so I don't see why she would take offence to being asked to push it a little further. You never know though, I hate to admit but we brides can be pretty stubborn when we've got an idea in our heads.
          ~Keira~**formerly KLee147**

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          #15 Lady_Di

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            Posted 27 August 2009 - 12:06 PM

            I am in the similar situation but it's on my FI's side.

            We had told everyone that we would be having a destination wedding in 2010 when we got engaged last year.

            His cousin's fiancee told me last Saturday that they're getting married in Cozumel in Oct 2010 when I am having mine in May 2010.

            So I have no idea if my FI's relatives will go to her wedding since it's so close to my wedding. His cousin's parents are already planning to come to our wedding so I have no idea if they're still having their wedding in Cozumel.

            So right now, it doesn't really bother me.

            Yesterday, a cousin on my mother's side who I don't really like told me she picked the same date as mine but had to change it since her FI's family couldn't make it. She just got engaged a few weeks ago! What a b*tch!

            Anyways, you may want to talk to her and let her know that some people may not go to her wedding in Hawaii since it's so expensive and maybe it would be a good idea to have it in 2011 to let people to save up for her wedding so that way they can come to both of your weddings! Hope things will go ok!

            #16 islandbride317

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              Posted 27 August 2009 - 07:51 PM

              MODS - can you please retitle this thread "Update - cousin having DW same year, and sister wants to be married 3 DAYS after me!"

              GIANT HUGS AND SINCERE THANKS, MY DEAR FRIENDS OF THE BDW!!!!

              I love you all for being so supportive and for having my back! I sort of felt like I was being a little ridiculous about my cousin having her DW the same year as me, but the plot has just TOTALLY THICKENED!!! Really, you're never going to believe what I am about to tell you all....the sh*t has officially HIT THE FAN!

              Get this -- my older sister (and only sibling) has been with her fiance for close to 12 years now (engaged for 5 or 6 I think), and she has stated for years that she has no intention on marrying him. NOW, on my lunch break at work today, she calls me and tells me the following:

              SHE ALSO WANTS TO NOT ONLY GET MARRIED IN 2010 TOO, BUT SHE WANTS TO GET MARRIED 3 DAYS (that's right - 72 hours) AFTER ME!!!
              I've chosen May 14, 2010 as our wedding date (which she knows because she's already booked her trip to go to Sandals for our wedding), and she wants to get married on May 17, 2010 since that is she and her fiance's "anniversary" -- UN-F8CKING-BELIEVABLE!!! All of the other guests are tentatively leaving on the 15th, but John and I will still be on our honeymoon for God's sake when she wants to do her small, hometown walk-down-the-aisle! This is a terrible, thoughtless plan she's cooked up, and I'll never forgive her if she goes through with it!

              I AM totally BLINDSIDED by this one! She hasn't told our mother yet, and asked me not to since she may not go with 5/17/10, but I feel like I might need to disrespect her wishes on this one, since she has clearly NO REGARD for me and my wishes!

              I had to seriously ask her if she had suffered a head injury, or if she wanted me to help her go out and look for her mind (because she's OBVIOUSLY lost it), and I had to sit down because I felt like I could pass out at any moment! How could she think that I would go for that idea?! Hey, let me just share my wedding week with my sister, who's had 12 years to get married, and now she feels this burning desire to do it 3 days after me! I even looked around and said, "AM I BEING PUNKED?" in all seriousness!

              My blood pressure has just sky-rocketed, ladies....I feel like I am headed for a meltdown!!!

              #17 estella1007

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                Posted 27 August 2009 - 07:59 PM

                OMG, that totally sucks. I know it may sound like a crazy idea, but do you think she would go for getting married while there too? Add on the cousin in between and you can have all 3 done and everyone can attend. You could probably share a photographer, and get some pretty incredible discounts from the venue and vendors. I know I would be pissed if I had to share my wedding with someone else, but if I had to, I would be certain to take full advantage of the situation.

                #18 islandbride317

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                  Posted 27 August 2009 - 08:26 PM

                  Christina, I see what you're saying and appreciate the advice, but there are somethings I can't bring myself to share, and our wedding day is one of those things!

                  My sister is just being jealous and hateful, and it's uncalled for and really hurtful...I can't even put into words what I am feeling about it right now!

                  #19 estella1007

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                    Posted 27 August 2009 - 08:58 PM

                    Awww, I'm so sorry I can't believe that people so close to you would be so oblivious to your feelings. I'm one of those "make the best of the situation" types, so thats why I suggested that. I would definitely NOT want to share my wedding either, so I totally get it. I hope it all works out for you. I think your sis will come around. She HAS to see how selfish it is to take away from your wedding. I'm sure she will also realize that she wouldn't want to get married without you by her side also. As far as your cousin.She is SOL. I think, like the others said, your wedding is far more cost effective, and will be chosen between the 2. Good luck and best wishes!

                    #20 islandbride317

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                      Posted 27 August 2009 - 09:21 PM

                      Thank you for sympathizing, Christina -- it's so comforting to know that someone else "gets" where you are coming from, you know? I appreciate your kindness, and everyone has been so supportive during this tough time. I will definitely let everyone know how this all plays out...

                      Oh, and speaking of which, here's an Instant-Update!

                      I just called my Mom and she is OUTRAGED about this whole thing (and my sister hasn't even mustered the guts to tell her herself yet!) I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight if I didn't call my parents to let them know immediately what one daughter is doing to sabotage the wedding of the other, and they are completely on my side - THANK GOD!




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