Update - cousin having DW same year, and sister wants to be married 3 DAYS after me
Posted 27 August 2009 - 05:17 AM
My younger cousin has announced that she is getting married in Hawaii within the same year that I am getting married in Jamaica -- woah is me!
The issues is this: the only one of the "kids" so far on my mom's side of the family to get married is my male cousin (my bride-cousin's older brother) and that was a few years ago. Ever since, there's been a wedding drought, if you will. Then my FI proposes last August and at Christmas I announce that we're getting married in the Caribbean in May 2010 and everyone is excited. A few months ago, my sister (who is very close with bride-cousin) tells me that bride-cousin has just gotten engaged and is planning on getting married in September, 2010.
I am freakin out that my family will have to decide between her wedding in Hawaii in September 2010 and my Wedding in Jamaica in May 2010 -- any advice on how to deal with this? She's emailed me, and was nervous that I would be upset with her. Well, I've already congratulated her but I felt the need to expressed my concern that our relatives will have to "pick" between us, due to the crazy economic slump a lot of people are in. I also told her that John and I will not be able to attend her wedding since we are assuming the costs of our wedding/AHR on our own. I want us both to have wonderful weddings, but damn! I wish she would have picked 2011!
Posted 27 August 2009 - 07:23 AM
I'm so sorry I dont have any solutions for you - in her email did she say there was a really good reason for her date?? maybe explain the situation you are putting the family in, and that since people have know about your wedding for a while now and have made plans to attend, you just wouldn't want her wedding to suffer... turning it around to show her that it may be her wedding that noone attends may persuade her to postpone her date a little...
Posted 27 August 2009 - 07:25 AM
Posted 27 August 2009 - 08:23 AM
Posted 27 August 2009 - 10:03 AM
I would try and talk to her about it and see if they can push it back a little. You got engaged first and you have seniority over her wedding. The best part is that I'm sure you've already got people that are for sure coming to your wedding and like the other girls mentioned, Hawaii is VERY expensive.
My BF & MOH and I got engaged 3 months apart, her in Nov, me in February and in our planning she took priority naturally. We changed our dates many times and she got married June 2009 and I'm getting married (like you ) May 2010.
It's only fair that she make it easy for you and your guests ESPECIALLY since you're family. Just a nice phone chat might be nice, email sometimes can get out of hand if you're not careful.
Posted 27 August 2009 - 10:31 AM
I'd suggest giving her a call, and maybe have your moms on the phone too. Who knows, she may be planning on a 15-person wedding or something, but I do think it's appropriate to have the conversation.
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Posted 27 August 2009 - 10:55 AM
Posted 27 August 2009 - 11:37 AM
Posted 27 August 2009 - 11:38 AM
| Originally Posted by michelle6114 |
I originally wanted to get married in Hawaii. But the cost are triple what they would be in the Jamaica, plus theres that looooong 12 hour flight from the east coast. I think if it comes down to choosing one or the other, you will get most of the family at your wedding just because of that.
My FSIL got engaged a few months after us and was trying to plan a DW for 2 months after ours. We just said we'd be there, because at the end of the day, if their dream is a DW, they are entitled to that too and waiting until 2011 is a really long time for some people. After being supportive of FSIL, she ended up changing her mind because a couple people couldn't afford both (no one was choosing to bail on a wedding they were already excited about and that was occurring first) and some people on her FI's side couldn't make it either. So hold tight, things may change and if they don't - it's not something you can control so just focus on your wedding and that no matter what, the people that want to be at your wedding will be there no matter what she plans.
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