"YOU MUST STAY AT PPR!! " - Bride says to Guest???

[pcguy17]

Hi Lovely

 

WHere did you hear that from? I received a mail from Noelia from the PPR yesterday on the same topic, for guests not staying at the PPR it is only $24pp to get them on the site.

[BachataBride]

Some people have suggested that they let their guests know that there will be a charge to attend the wedding if they chose to stay elsewhere...others have called that tacky. But it is an option. I personally think that you are inviting them not only to your wedding, but to your wedding week! So for them to stay elsewhere (even to save money) is a slap in the face!

[Outdoor_girl1010]

I am not reallysure if I would ask why, but if I asked why and then you told me about the fee I would be like okay no problem, but like BachataBride said they couldn't come over and hang at all.

[Princess402]

This is one of the reasons why picking a resort is so hard!!! If I could have just picked a resort that FI and I liked, regardless of cost and other factors, I would have settled on a resort long ago. But, instead I need to find a place that we are happy with and can afford, and that most others will be happy with and able to afford as well.

 

I'm confident that most of our guests will stay at the same resort with us. However, if for some reason anyone wants to stay elsewhere, I'm okay with that, but they will be responsible for paying their day pass fee. If I were going to someone else's DW and chose to stay in a different resort to save some $$$ I would expect to be responsible for paying these fees for myself as well.

 

I don't know if the fees that you are referring to at PPR are for day pass fees, or if they are actually surcharging the dinner, etc, for outside guests... if it is the latter, that does make things more awkward. I don't know that I would feel comfortable recouping fees like that from guests, and while perhaps understandable, it could be perceived as a bit tacky.

[SSNM]

If you told me I had to stay at PPR I would not go against your wishes, but if it was outside my budget I would not go to the wedding. As for the extra fees on top of the guest pass I would tell the WC to either waive it or I'll take my business elsewhere.

[DanielleNDerek]

That fee is normal for all inclusive resorts. And be careful because some resorts even require you to have a minimum % of your guests stay at the resort or you cant have your wedding there at all even when your paying the guest pass fee. All of my guests stayed at the PPR and i really didnt give them the option to stay elsewhere I just mentioned the PPR. I didnt have any guests ask about staying anywhere else either. Have a lot of your guests been mentioning other resorts?

 

OH and when i had my wedding Nov 2008 the fee was about $95, PCGuy you might want to question Noelle about what she told you and get that in writing if she says $24!

[SSNM]

The guest pass is normal but the extra percent on top of the per plate cost?? I have never heard of that except at one place and I thought that made no sense. If they are already paying to come onto the resort, and you are paying for their plate what is the point in further penalizing your guests by charging more for the plate?

[MilitaryMrs.s-to be]

We had this problem as well, We have alot of family that go south every year but do a last minute sell off, so when we told them the cost, they freaked out and said they would come but they would be waiting until the last minute to get the vacation dirt cheap, however, we would be charged for ppl not booked with our wedding group for the supper, so I told them, if you don't book with us and stay at another resort, you will have to pay for your day pass into our resort and whatever the resort charges us for your meal, Because that is not fair to us to have to pay extra on top of everything we already paid....A few people were ticked off at me, buttttt, They'll get over it

[Amarillis]

I have heard of this, and would say that it is the norm.

 

I would definately question the bride by asking "why can't we choose a different resort", if the response was "so I (as the bride) can save $ per plate", my honest answer would be ok, then we'll kindly decline the invite.

 

If you cannot afford to cover the cost of your guests -- whether at an at home wedding or a destination, then you should rethink your choice, or drum down the guest list. It really is simple.

 

In a sense this relates back to 'at home non-DW brides' having an expectation that if each plate costs $x, then the gifts from guests should at least cover the per plate cost, this simply is not the case.

 

Weddings are about having the celebration you want, with the people you want, in a capacity that the bride and groom can afford. With no expectation of 'coming out ahead'.

 

Sorry if this is harsh, but I truly believe it is a reality.

[SSNM]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amarillis In a sense this relates back to 'at home non-DW brides' having an expectation that if each plate costs $x, then the gifts from guests should at least cover the per plate cost, this simply is not the case. Weddings are about having the celebration you want, with the people you want, in a capacity that the bride and groom can afford. With no expectation of 'coming out ahead'.

I don't think that these two scenerios are parallel. The OP is not trying to "come out ahead" and make money off of her wedding, she is trying to have some control over the cost. This is just a wierd scenerio where the guests' choice of lodging could make or break the budget --this scenerio just doesn't exist at a local wedding and so the proper etiquette is blurred. Personally, while I would not make guests pay for their plate, I would not eat that 30% mark up (no pun intended). However, assuming that there is nothing you can do about it, then one has the option to make the host hotel mandatory, budget for the higher price for everyone and adjust your guest list and/or funds accordingly, change resorts, or put the cost on the guest.

One way of looking at it is that the 30% mark up is part of the cost to coming on to the resort -- it is not like the food became more expensive just because the person eating it did not stay at the resort. Therefore, if it is okay for the guest to pay for the guest pass, it is okay for them to pay for the mark up.