Jump to content

The site will be offline Saturday evening (4/28/18) for a software update. Thank you in advance for your patience while upgrade to a new-improved version of BDW.

Feeling guilty

  • Please log in to reply
17 replies to this topic

#11 Lady_Di

  • Sr. Member
  • 5,078 posts

    Posted 21 August 2009 - 11:26 AM

    I am feeling this way too!! Most of our family relatives are not making enough to pay $1k in a month so we totally understand that they will not be able to come and we are having an informal reception as well so i think it will be okay.

    #12 jennaLynn544

    • Newbie
    • 81 posts

      Posted 21 August 2009 - 11:56 AM

      There was definitely a point when I felt bad...like, when we told our FRIENDS the date & where we'd be going (not a surprise on the location, since we knew almost right away & have been engaged for 1.5 years now) they said they weren't going to be able to afford it. It was a huge disappointment right away because we wanted both family AND friends to be there. Considering our age (I'm 22, he's 24)...our friends are all still either finishing up college or just newly graduated...meaning they don't have a ton of extra money to spend. We could've just decided on doing the more traditional wedding & have it in our hometown but this isn't what WE wanted to do. You must remember that this is you & your FI's day not anyone elses! So, if you both really have your heart set on a DW, then everyone else is just going to have work with that. It may sound selfish to some people but you & your FI should be, because it's your wedding day & you both gotta be happy with how you celebrate it...it's all about making memories, too, & who wouldn't want to remember getting married at an exotic location & experiencing new things together!

      When FI & I were bummed about our friends telling us they wouldn't be able to go...we even offered to pay for our 2 best friends (they happen to be dating, too)...they STILL said they wouldn't go...even after FI said they wouldn't need to worry about paying us back anytime soon, just whenever they manage to save up the money! With enough advance it's definitely possible to make a trip happen...it just requires some self control & planning...putting away a certain amount of money each month & budgeting your monthly expenses...I guess some people can't adopt this concept, though..? Even if it were just you & your FI...you'd still have an amazing time together!
      I absolutely LOVE my life & ADORE my little family :)

      #13 Love3

      • Member
      • 785 posts

        Posted 21 August 2009 - 02:00 PM

        I feel a little guilty for my mom and dad and that's it! We booked this for us and we were thinking of us when we booked it. If ppl can come great if not then no worries. We didn't care to have everyone there. You can't please everyone so don't try

        #14 vlynnw

        • Sr. Member
        • 6,003 posts

          Posted 21 August 2009 - 02:03 PM

          I sometimes feel quilty because since we even thought about doing a DW my family has been nothing but against it. My mom is on board and assures me that she will get my dad there to walk me down the aisle, however, he tells me every time he sees me he's not going. My sister and BIL don't sound very interested in coming either. I'm pretty much not sure if my family members will be there at all, but my best friend who lives in Luxembourg will be there. I figure my dad will suck it up because he doesn't have a choice - but I'm worried that my sister and her family won't be able to swing the trip financially and won't make it .
          Veronica & Adam - May 6, 2011 - Dreams Tulum

          #15 jstinemari

          • Newbie
          • 86 posts

            Posted 22 August 2009 - 07:32 AM

            i'm also feeling really guilty about having our wedding in Hawaii. We live in boston so the flight is 13 or 14hrs and the ticket is upwards of $800. our grandparents probably wont be able to make such a long flight and we're young too, 24 and 26 so most friends are coming out of school, paying off loans and cant afford it. We had originally had a guest list of 30 ppl and now i think it might be 10 but it's okay..having it in Maui is something we really want to do. DF's mother has been saying she's not coming too and that's been hard but we've gotten over it, if she wants to be there she will, if not she'll regret it. but we're not going to change everything for her. We're also having a reception at home so everyone who wont be able to make it are happy about that.

            #16 Jenn79

            • Member
            • 625 posts

              Posted 22 August 2009 - 11:06 AM

              I must be in the minority, I never felt any guilt for the money our guests would spend. Now it's not because I'm a selfish wench, but I knew they would spend more if I had an at home wedding, much more. My family is spread out from coast to coast, so flights alone into Ottawa would have been more than the cost of the cruise. I also lucked in because my MOH lives on the island I got married on, whereas if she were to come to Ottawa, again, it would cost way too much.

              Granted, I only had twenty people at my wedding, four of whom lived on the island already, but those twenty people made it the most amazing day, and in the end that's what will matter the most when you look back.
              Jenn & Timm, May 10, 2007
              Review Pictures Pro Pictures
              "i write to be read" Fiction by Timm Holmes

              #17 kate.com


                VIP Member

              • VIP Member
              • 8,921 posts

                Posted 22 August 2009 - 11:09 AM

                I felt that way too.... but remember, that you are asking them to come- not telling them. All you have to do is understand if the can't make it, they can't make it!
                You are allowed to secretly bummed... but stay away from guilting others to come. Whoever does come, will be apart of a very special wedding!
                And also remember... it only takes TWO to marry! The rest is bonus:)

                #18 Megan24

                • Jr. Member
                • 271 posts

                  Posted 24 August 2009 - 02:26 AM

                  First of all sorry that I posted this post in the wrong place. Still new at this and did not really know where to put it. But thanks for letting me know.

                  Girls I just want to thank you all for your opinions on this matter. It makes me feel better that I am not the only one feeling this way. I have made the decision to not worry about it anymore. We want the wedding on the beach in Mexico and if people feel that they can not afford it. I will just throw a party at the house when we get back.

                  0 user(s) are reading this topic

                  0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users