Jump to content

My bridesmaid won't go to Mexico.


KRama

Recommended Posts

I've had my bridesmaids picked out for several years now and was so excited to be engaged and finally put my "plan" into action. The FI and I have decided to get married in Mexico and our friends and family are more than thrilled to be part of it. When we chose this destination and I knew I would be putting one of my BM's in an awkward situation. A distant relative of hers died while vactationing in Mexico several years ago and the family has never been satisfied with how the death was handled, even accusing the authorities of covering up evidence. This BM has now told me that based on principle, she just cannot bring herself to support the Mexican tourism industry (her exact words) and that she can't be a bridesmaid if this is the destination I choose. She has been difficult from the beginning, first with the location, then with the color of the dresses, and often trashing the ideas I had for the wedding. In a way I was grateful that she decided to back out so I wouldn't have to confront her about her bad attitude but now I'm just angry that it is more important to her to NOT support Mexico than to support ME, her supposed best friend, on my wedding day!

 

Am I being completely unreasonable here??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No you are not being unreasonable. I would hope that my best friend would put aside her personal struggles to be there for me on my important day and be more concerned with that than a country. I guess it probably is best though that she backed out - because you wouldn't want her pessimism causing you any more stress than it already has once you reach your destination. Especially since her bad attitude seemed to be targeted at more details than just the location you chose.

 

I hope it all works out though between the two of you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That sucks about her negativity! I can undersand if someone close to her died and her not wanting to go back there for her own reasons, and yes you are her best friend but I think I would have to take the friends side on this one. Yes it would hurt me like hell if my friend couldn't be there for me, but put yourself in her shoes for a sec. It is a diff situation but I see both sides here. I think it would be good for you two to talk about this so there are no pent up feelings that explode!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I dont think you are being unreasonable.

 

I had family and friends dissapointed about us having a desination wedding - but at the end of the day, the wedding is about you and your FI,if other people are there to share it - thats fantatic, but at the end of the day, when you choose a DW you have to be OK if its just the too of you...

 

I think she has probably done you a favour backing out if thats going to be her attitude. I dont know her or you or your history, but if she is being that difficult for her best firend, i get the feeling there is something else going on. Could she be jealous?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Frankly, count your blessings. It sounds like she was going to be one of "those" BMs anyway. If I were guessing, I'd say that she may have decided that she just didn't want to go, didn't want to wear the dress, didn't want *something* and this just a convenient reason to give you.

 

My advice is to be incredibly (or falsely) gracious about it and move on. It's totally not worth the headache to worry over.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You are not being unreasonable at all! While it's unfortunate that she had a distant relative die in Mexico, it seems she is the unreasonable one by holding the entire country responsible for the death and investigation that occured.

 

Count yourself lucky she backed out now so you don't have to put up with her attitude and have a great wedding.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for the support ladies! I agree that this is probably a blessing in disguise seeing how difficult she was proving to work with. And we haven't let this affect our friendship at all. If anything, she's constantly looking for reassurance that I'm not upset with her and she is making an effort to still be involved in the planning. I also agree with becks, that there may be an underlying reason why she decided to back out that may not be entirely related to her whole "Mexican Board of Tourism" excuse.

 

Either way, this is probably for the best and I'm still super excited for our wedding!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

you are not being unreasonable at all.she should have thought before she said anything that it is your big day and she should do what ever was in her power to be part of it after you asking her to be part of your special day.she may cool down and change her mind?however if not your day will still be great all you need to think is everyone else will be there who loves you.she may be being arsey because she is angry with herself and would really like to go and is a little jealous?if she had gone about it the right way i am sure you would have understood it a little more.

 

i hope it works out

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • Hi everyone! I have been doing lots of research on various wedding venues all around Mexico, my fiance wants a destination wedding and I am happy to have a wedding wherever so long as the vibe is right and guests are happy!  I have been seriously looking at Cabo Azul and was trying to find potential costs for them, but only found a page about their wedding costs from 2010. Does anyone have any updated information on costs / reviews they would like to share of this venue? Or advice in general, anything helps. Thanks so much, happy wedding planning to all!
    • Hello everyone, I am dreaming of a wedding in Costa Rica and was wondering if I could get any help with venues and wedding planners. I am thinking Tamarindo because a close friend of mine lives there and I've been in town more than a couple of times, she's being helpful but is at a loss when it comes to this subject really so I was wondering if anyone here had recommendations. I am not closed to other town suggestions either, if I happen to find a good place and staff somewhere else. These are the places I have so far, has anyone had any experience with any of them?  Stay In Tamarindo Luxury Villas in Costa Rica Luxury Villas Pinilla Tropical Homes of Costa Rica The Point Luxury Villa Thank you so much for your help!
    • Have you ever considered having a wedding inside a bubble? With the current global situation, many couples are looking for unique and creative ways to celebrate their special day while keeping their guests safe. A wedding inside a bubble could provide a whimsical and intimate setting for your ceremony and reception. Imagine saying your vows surrounded by a beautiful bubble filled with twinkling lights and flowers, creating a magical atmosphere for you and your loved ones to enjoy.
    • Adult only resort or not? Let's discuss the pros and cons of choosing an adult-only resort for your honeymoon. While some couples may appreciate the peace and quiet that comes with an adults-only environment, others may prefer a more family-friendly atmosphere. What are your thoughts on this? Have you had any experiences at adult-only resorts that you'd like to share? Let's hear your opinions and recommendations!
    • When it comes to planning a wedding, one of the most exciting parts is choosing the perfect wedding favours for your guests. These small tokens of appreciation are a great way to thank your loved ones for being a part of your special day and to make them feel appreciated.
  • Topics

×
×
  • Create New...