FMIL trying to stop wedding!
Posted 16 August 2009 - 07:50 PM
I guess in hindsight, their objections were well founded. Fortunatly we all get on like a house on fire, I'm not sure I'd like to see my FMIL cross with me!
I know it's stressful. I dont know the legalities, but maybe you could have a quick registry office wedding before your DW - that way if they do try to pull anything it doesnt matter as your already husband and wife? Stay strong, and make sure that your FI sticks by you. The day is about you and him. Screw everyone else sweetheart!
Posted 17 August 2009 - 09:44 AM
Posted 17 August 2009 - 10:16 AM
I know writing the letter will make you feel better. Don't do it. It won't be received well, and anything that they can warp will be warped. If you really feel you need to write it, can you write it and not send it? If you send it to them they will hold it over you for the rest of your life, and probably your kids' lives. Can you imagine the day when they drag that letter out and show it to your 7-year-old son (or whatever) and say "see how mean mommy is - she's bad and you should hate her".
At this point, I would avoid ALL contact with them. Leave any conversation or communication up to FI. Just stay away from them - you're 6 weeks out, don't let them hurt you any further.
Personally, I like the idea of having a quiet legal ceremony sooner rather than later if your FI is up for it. That way it will effectively shut down your FILs and anything they do.
Good luck! Chin up!
Happily married since 2008
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Posted 20 August 2009 - 03:39 PM
I also think that I am going to take the advise & write my feelings down, but not send it. Through all of this I have never said or done anything back to them in anger. I am very proud of that fact, but think it would be a good idea to get my feelings out. Sometimes putting something on paper makes it easier to see where your heart is & how to allow forgives to come in. That is what I am working on right now - forgiveness. It is very difficult, but I know that I will feel better once I can say that.
We talked about just going & getting married, but I am set on having my wedding day be my wedding day. I don't want anything to take that away from me. I want all our friends & family who love us to be there & share that special moment. Sometimes I think it would be easier to just go do it, but the other part of me doesn't want to miss out on the beauty of this once in a lifetime event.
Posted 21 August 2009 - 12:00 PM
I hope they will come to their senses when you guys have the meeting. I am hoping for best for you guys! I agree that nobody should take your wedding day away from you!!!
Keep us posted!
Posted 23 August 2009 - 08:06 PM
*Do* keep us posted. Be calm + try not to let them get to you!!! *hugs*
Posted 25 August 2009 - 11:35 AM
Posted 28 August 2009 - 06:06 PM
Posted 28 August 2009 - 10:00 PM
I can definately relate. My FMIL is horrible, she's refusing to come to our wedding. She hasn't liked me from the first moment we met either. I wasn't was she had always envisioned for her son...because i'm not russian, she was VERY disappointed about that lol She ONLY spoke in Russian around me for maybe 6 months and she knows how to speak perfect english. She plays nice now after many talks with DF.. (it was probably more of him puting her in check) and after our son was born because she adores him. but she doesnt want to come to our wedding. I let it get to me at first but i decided to just be happy and brush her off.
remember, it's your wedding, you and your FH love each other and you should be happy. Try not to let them get to you or push you apart. He should know what they're doing is wrong and you should both be there for each other. I hope everything goes well with a mediator. hopefully you and you future in laws can end up on good terms.
best of luck
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