FMIL trying to stop wedding!
Posted 14 August 2009 - 08:17 PM
How do we un-invite them to the wedding?! We have told them that if they can't be happy for us then they shouldn't come. They still plan on attending & said that they will continue to try & stop their son from marrying me.
I don't know exactly what that means, but I guess they are going to try to stop the ceremony from taking place or harrass us they days leading up to the wedding. We will all be in Jamaica for 4 days before the ceremony.
What do I do?! Please pass along any advise you have!
Posted 14 August 2009 - 09:08 PM
I think its best if he handles it himself because you don't want to be involved and give them a reason not to like you or to hold it against you. Good luck. I can't imagine what I'd do if my MIL treated me that way.
Posted 14 August 2009 - 09:35 PM
Posted 14 August 2009 - 09:44 PM
Posted 14 August 2009 - 09:51 PM
Posted 14 August 2009 - 11:37 PM
Posted 14 August 2009 - 11:57 PM
Posted 15 August 2009 - 07:09 PM
To answer a few questions -
The first actual "real" time spent with my FI family was not good. They decided right then & there that they didn't like me. It was right before Christmas & the MIL spent several hours telling me how aweful gift cards were as a gift & that only people who didn't care gave them out. Luckily I had picked out a beautiful cashmere sweater for her as well as my own mother! But then she gave me a pair of socks & a $25 gift card! I couldn't believe it! Then she told me that I had ruined her Christmas & it would never be the same again.
Of course each get together after that went much the same way. They would tell me they wished I wouldn't have came & that next time maybe their son could come without me, etc.
In the beginning my FI had a hard time with all of it because they always said these things to me when he would leave the room. We even went to counseling about it. Now that he understands what they say & do to me he has asked them about it. They deny most of it, but then sometimes will let something slip out like I am just ungrateful or else they will blame him.
As for confronting them & talking about it - we did in June. It was ugly. We met up to discuss everything & the MIL attacked me & blamed me for everything & ended by saying that her son was the only family she has (she has a husband & sister) & that I had taken him from her. The FIL just goes along with her, but then sometimes lashes out at me or his son as well. He wrote a toast that talked about how much he had enjoyed getting to know me (which he has not done) & then ended with saying he hoped he could say these words at the wedding and not regret them.
Very passive aggresive behavior I think......
We have now written them a letter explaining our feelings & asked them again not to attend the wedding. The worst part is that all this has driven a huge wedge between me & my FI. It is very sad to think that we are about to get married with such a stressful situation on our hands. No one wants to start a marriage like this.
Thanks again for listening! Sometimes it is good to just get things off your chest.
Posted 15 August 2009 - 07:30 PM
Is his mom one who likes to control things? "It's my way or the highway" type of deal? It's like she's close w/him when he does things her way, and if he doesn't, she gets mad?
But this is the two of you starting a life together. His parents have 2 choices; they can accept you and support their son or they can be stubborn and lose their relationship with their son and lose out on getting to know you.
I hope everything works out for you.
Posted 15 August 2009 - 08:55 PM
0 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users