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So my sister just got engaged, 3 months after I did :l


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#41 breeze616

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    Posted 21 October 2010 - 02:33 AM



    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jeanward 


    Hello. You are getting married on my son's birthday! I just had the same experience you did. I got engaged in August, and my younger sister just got engaged a couple days ago. She hasn't made any plans yet, so I don't know if they are going to get married before me or not. I had the same first thought that you did, "I wish they would have waited until I was married so they didn't steal my thunder". Then I thought about it some more and figured her fiance probably had this planned before we got engaged. It takes some time to save up for a ring and pick one out. I am going to pick out all the positives and ignore my first selfish thoughts. They have been together the same amount of time as me and my fiance, it is time for them too. I want her to feel that I am 100% happy for her, because I am and she deserves it. Don't you hate selfish thoughts...no matter how fleeting??





    Hi jean! Congrats on your engagement!! Sounds like you situation is very similar to mine! My best advice is to be totally honest with your sister. If she wants to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, just say so. It's not selfish, every girl deserves to have her time in the spotlight and you will both really enjoy it if you do it the right way... Allowing plenty of time between weddings. It may suck for her having to wait a couple a years, but she will realize its better that way in the end.

    Best of luck to both of you and let us know how it goes!!

    #42 schayer

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      Posted 12 November 2010 - 05:47 PM

      When i read your post Sabrina. I though to myself that i would probably have the same reaction and possibly worst as me and my sister are far from being close. I read the post from the other brides and they do point out some good.

       

      a friend o mine had a very similar situation, They had planned on doing a DW but her sister bated her to the punch. They then went with a local wedding and ended up terribly jealous because the DW was amazing!

       

      Good luck in all this and remember to enjoy yourself, because later you'll be looking back on this!



      #43 bigsister11

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        Posted 30 November 2010 - 07:59 AM

        I feel your pain. My sister got engaged just three months after me and she is having her wedding 3 weeks before mine. I have had to tell her many times that we need to be good communicators thru-out this entire thing as to not step on each others toes, but I feel like she is trying to one up me on everything. I had already shared most of my ideas the first 3 months my fiance and I were engaged and so now I feel like everything she is planning is more expensive and is trying to outdo mine. I just keep reminding myself that this day is about my fiance and I and that no matter whether or not people attend hers and not mine I could care less. I just want to spend that day with the people I love and my fiance. I have been worried because she is a bridesmaid in mine, but I just figure I will have to put in a little extra time and plan mine to the last detail before her wedding so that I will have three weeks for adjustments after I see what I don't like about hers. I am sure they will both be spectacular, but I am a little sore still about her stealing my thunder. People are going to remember your wedding for its uniqueness and they will be there for you! Stay positive. I feel your pain :-)



        #44 SusanJeff2008

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          Posted 30 November 2010 - 01:15 PM

          Congratulations on your engagement! I don't know how I would feel since my sister got married 2 years ago. I did feel really weird that my little sister got married before me so I can only imagine how I would feel if I was in your situation. I hope everything has been going well and good luck! :)



          #45 breeze616

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            Posted 01 December 2010 - 09:20 AM

            Wow big sister, that is really awful!! That must make it so frustrating to feel like you cAnt share any ideas with your sister :( as I said before I think you should be honest with your sister and tell her how you feel that sharing the spotlight is not as fun as having it to your self, for both of you!! Even if it doesn't change anything, atleast you'll feel like you did what you could to make things better for both you. I didn't say anything and eventually got so frustrated I blew up on her - which was wrong and horrible for both of us. I hope you two can work it out!!

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by bigsister11 

            I feel your pain. My sister got engaged just three months after me and she is having her wedding 3 weeks before mine. I have had to tell her many times that we need to be good communicators thru-out this entire thing as to not step on each others toes, but I feel like she is trying to one up me on everything. I had already shared most of my ideas the first 3 months my fiance and I were engaged and so now I feel like everything she is planning is more expensive and is trying to outdo mine. I just keep reminding myself that this day is about my fiance and I and that no matter whether or not people attend hers and not mine I could care less. I just want to spend that day with the people I love and my fiance. I have been worried because she is a bridesmaid in mine, but I just figure I will have to put in a little extra time and plan mine to the last detail before her wedding so that I will have three weeks for adjustments after I see what I don't like about hers. I am sure they will both be spectacular, but I am a little sore still about her stealing my thunder. People are going to remember your wedding for its uniqueness and they will be there for you! Stay positive. I feel your pain :-)





            #46 soontobemrsdow

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              Posted 06 December 2010 - 11:07 PM

              aww I'm so sorry to hear about this. I don't think you should feel bad about being selfish. A wedding is something thats so important that you don't want to share it with anyone else. Especially since you're family is so invovled in helping you out. I'm sure it will all work out though and you will have an amazing wedding!

               

              Plus, just think if she gets married before you, you are going to steal her thunder on her wedding day because everyones going to ask how the plans are going for yours!



              #47 CoCoBean

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                Posted 09 December 2010 - 02:34 PM

                I can feel all y'alls pain! I have been engaged one month now and my brother is planning on proposing to his girlfriend on new years (just a few weeks away). My brother and I both live all the way across the country from the rest of our family and I haven't even had a chance to celebrate with family or friends from back home. On one hand it would be fun wedding planning with the girlfriend but on the other hand I just wish I would have a little me/us time during our engagement. Uh! It's a roller coaster of feeling - happy for them and their plans most likely won't affect ours - to why now????






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