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bholthof

What would you do??

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It doesn't sound like you want it, so I don't think you should have it. After all, your wedding is about YOU and your FI...not about who can or can't make it.

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Originally Posted by flbluiiis View Post
It doesn't sound like you want it, so I don't think you should have it. After all, your wedding is about YOU and your FI...not about who can or can't make it.
I agree, keep it to what you want. We are having an AHR, but only because we only wanted really close family there for the ceremony. We couldn't get much smaller than 13 guests! The AHR is just a nice way to celebrate with our friends and extended family - gives us the intimacy of a small wedding and a big bash with friends! Just enjoy what you do. And don't feel pressurised to do anything you don't want to.

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We're having an AHR because we have lots of friends and extended family members that cannot make it on trip, for medical or financial reasons. Our AHR is going to be very informal, just like a giant party for all of our nearest and dearest. In my mind, I'm not even considering it a "wedding reception" - just a big old party! That's taking some of the pressure off, for sure=)

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Uggh..I know your dilemma first hand, my dear!

 

Actually, I knew that a lot of people we really love wouldn't be able to make it to our destination wedding for various reason (cost-concerns during this horrendous economy, health concerns, etc). So, it seems that we are actually going to be spending MORE on the AHR than the wedding itself, but that is my choosing. If that's not what you want, than by all means, you shouldn't do it.

 

We were just thinking that if those we would have liked to attend weren't able to get there, then WE would try to bring some water and Caribbean flavor closer to THEM! We plan on booking a 3 hour cruise on a party yacht, showing our wedding DVD of the ceremony, and having a steel drum band and Caribbean food so they can feel like they were there! Hopefully it will transport them, so that the waters of Baltimore's Inner Harbor will feel like the Caribbean!

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It sounds like you don't want an AHR, so then I wouldn't have one. I would invite all the people that are close to you to the wedding. And for people that can't make it to the wedding(grandparents, etc) perhaps arrange to take them out for lunch after you return to show them your pictures, etc. I think having a super small "reception" when you return where you don't invite the customary people, aunts, uncles, etc would probably cause hurt feelings. If you don't have an AHR you can't hurt their feeling by not inviting them.

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If you don't want one, you definitely don't have to have one.

 

We are having one for the same reasons others have said...there are some friends and family whom we really do want to celebrate with that just cannot be there. Our is going to be pretty informal though. Cocktails, late lunch (like you would normally get at a wedding) and dancing and laughing all night long. At least that is how we hope it goes! wink.gif

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It doesn't sound like you want one, so don't. This is your wedding and you have it how you want it.

 

By the sounds of things it's going to be more hassle than it's worth and you're not going to invite too many people anyway.

 

Why don't you organise a meal for when you do get back for those people that you do want to see? If you have different people from different groups that you don't want mixing, you can just organise different meals. That way as well, you don't pay for everyone....just ask them if they'd like to meet up and go for a meal when you're back so you can all see each other - all it's going to cost you is the price of the meal for you and your hubby....

 

Just another idea :)

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Originally Posted by *Nadine* View Post
I am not having an AHR either. I have all these people travelling to Mexico for us, the last thing I am going to do is have them travel for us AGAIN for another party. If we wanted an at home reception, we would have gotten married AT HOME. end of story :)
I so agree with you, but my future MIL is insisting on having one. I told her she could do it for their family and friends. I do not want to obligate people to come to an AHR and I do not want to assist with the planning-uuuggghhh-that is why I wanted a DW-lol.

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Originally Posted by Destination Scout View Post
We had an AHR, but it was not for us. It was for his parent's who had been dreaming of their son's wedding for 36 years. None of their friends agreed to come to our wedding, so we let them host the reception. It was a great party. Neither of us were really into it, but it did keep the peace.
This is what is happening with us-his mom wants it-we don't-we will just do it to keep the peace-lol

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