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Donations instead of gifts for wedding party


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#1 tata2

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    Posted 04 August 2009 - 08:40 AM

    Ok ladies I have a question. What are your thoughts on giving a donation in the name of the wedding party member to a charity? We are an older bridal coupkle as are my wedding party. We all have more than we need and at this time when there are so many people out of work and desperate in our city giving might feel better to all.
    Really what groom needs another flask or beer mug etc... I seriously am not trying to cheap out at all just wondering without asking them what the thoughts would be. thanks

    #2 The Mandy in Chandy

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      Posted 04 August 2009 - 08:45 AM

      I think it's a great idea, but I don't know the etiquette for it. I have heard of some girls making cutesy poems for that sort of thing, but if you might not want to go that route if it is a more formal request.

      if it were ME, I would put an insert in the invitation that said something like "We are blessed to have everything we need to start our home together. Unfortunately, some people aren't as lucky. If a gift is something you believe a couple should have to celebrate their new lives, please use that gift to help someone in need better theirs. Below is the information for our favorite charity. Thank you."

      I am sure others can find better words for it than that. I think it can be done though!

      #3 Kristy!

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        Posted 04 August 2009 - 10:05 AM

        I think you are talking about gifts for your wedding party, not from your guests, correct?

        I'm kind of mixed on this one. I like it when people do this for their favors at weddings, but I'm not sure that I would like it as a BM gift. For one, would you let each person choose their charity? One person my be super serious about animal rights while another isn't that big into it and would prefer something like the American Cancer Society.

        The gifts do not have to be something super traditional like a flask. DH took all of his GM on an ATV tour.

        I guess I would actually lean towards not doing the donation, at least as the whole gift. I think your friends would appreciate a more creative, personalized gift.

        #4 The Mandy in Chandy

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          Posted 04 August 2009 - 01:04 PM

          ahhh I totally read it wrong. lol scratch my advice, I like kristy's :P

          #5 michelle6114

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            Posted 05 August 2009 - 03:49 PM

            I'm not sure about this. I think if your wedding party wants to donate anything, then it's up to them. If you are in the position to get them a nice gift to show appreciation for being in your wedding then I think you should do it. Maybe not a beer mug, but a gift card to a nice restaurant? Then they can always donate to a friend or family member who could use it more then they could.
            You cannot assume anything about a couple's financial situation. When someone is having money problems, they do not usually shout it out to the world.

            #6 whitechocolate

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              Posted 06 August 2009 - 12:51 PM

              I'm all for the donations - it's what I'd like to do as favors for my wedding - but I feel like the members of the wedding party should get a step above that. As others have said, it doesn't have to be a traditional ANYTHING. I vote for taking them on a fun outing or something similar. Just another opportunity to make great memories of your wedding!

              #7 whitechocolate

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                Posted 06 August 2009 - 12:54 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by The Mandy in Chandy
                if it were ME, I would put an insert in the invitation that said something like "We are blessed to have everything we need to start our home together. Unfortunately, some people aren't as lucky. If a gift is something you believe a couple should have to celebrate their new lives, please use that gift to help someone in need better theirs. Below is the information for our favorite charity. Thank you."

                I am sure others can find better words for it than that. I think it can be done though!
                I forgot to say that I really liked your wording, Mandy, even though it didn't quite fit the situation Honestly, I might consider using it myself since FI and I will have lived together for almost 3 years before we're married. We already have 2 sets of everything from moving in together in the first place!




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