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My Bio Father Sux!!!

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#1 Prettyhazardous

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    Posted 02 August 2009 - 04:04 PM

    Ok So I was raised by my maternal grandparents and my mother was in and out of my life growing up (she had substance abuse issues but she's been clean for at least 10 years now and has been an active part of my life since).

    My father on the other hand has done nothing for me besides pay ab $43.00 a month for child support. Then when I turned 18 he bragged to his friends that he didn't have to pay it anymore. He's really is a loser.

    So anyway he has never made a committed effort to be a part of my life. Growing up he would be a part of my life maybe 1 month a year until it got boring or for whatever reason he'd stop (also I have a 1/2 brother and sister that he raised and he also raised his stepson and is the godfather of his stepson's son I might add). Once I turned 18 I moved on and really stopped caring ab him at all. I have no desire for him to be a part of my life!!!!

    Well lately he has become a part of my grandparent's circle (mainly bc he has a sister who is my grandmother's age and she and my grandmother are friends). So he met my fi at a bbq last summer and made this big joke about me not wanting to be a part of his life. I basically told him that he really didn't want to discuss that in front of his so called friends (he was a bit drunk I clearly wasn't)..

    OK So fast forward to Jan 09...Well my gparents made me send him and 2 of his 8 siblings an invite to my wedding. His sisters freaked out bc I didn't invite all the siblings. I'm like I don't even know you ppl, and u 2 should be glad u were invited in the first place. My father said that he was coming, but never booked (he actually fussed at my carnival personal vacay planner bc of the price she quoted him. She called me in tears saying that she didn't think he would be attending). I was overyjoyed!!!! So by the booking deadline in May he hadn't booked, but the rest of my entire group had...

    I have not heard from him since I called him to get his addy to send the invite in January...I heard nothing from him (and didn't go outta my way to call him) to find out if he was really coming.

    Well last week he purchased a new Escalade (but he can't come to my wedding ok, Who even buys and truck like that during a recession...idiot) and stopped past my gparents house to tell them that he and my older sister (who I have no relationship with, but I did tell her on fb a few weeks ago that I hadn't heard from our father in since jan. I thought she was just being nosey when she asked) are coming to the wedding. I am pissed... How can u decide to go after the booking deadline and not even let me know.

    Also he hasn't booked, and I turned in all my final counts to my wc already. I
    also sent my info for the program to Ana and I have no FOB on the program.
    My gparents want me to call him to see what his plans are but I think it's ludicrous that he hasn't called me.... How can he even consider booking his trip and not rsvp with me. He can go on the cruise all he wants but if I don't know ab he can't come to the wedding.

    Should I call him or should I just wait to hear from him?

    #2 Sapphire723

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    • 888 posts

      Posted 02 August 2009 - 04:41 PM

      I would go ahead and plan for him not attending. Don't stress over what he keeps saying to people. It sounds like he's mostly talk, and I don't think you should go out of your way to make OOT bags for him or include him on the program if he's going to back out and disappoint you at the last minute. And don't stress about his sisters. They're lucky to even be invited!

      You don't owe him anything, and it was nice enough that you included him, so don't stress further about it.

      #3 EDSROSA

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      • 510 posts

        Posted 02 August 2009 - 07:16 PM

        Hey date twin! I agree with LeAnne. If he didnt have the courtesy to notify you about possibly attending the wedding then why should you go looking for him for answers? If he hasnt booked than dont even count on him attending. Good luck let us know what happens!

        #4 The Mandy in Chandy

        The Mandy in Chandy
        • Jr. Member
        • 307 posts

          Posted 02 August 2009 - 09:52 PM

          You seem relieved he hasn't replied, so I'd go with it! He doesn't deserve to even have the chance to go, but you gave him that anyway. You've done more than enough, so I wouldn't stress about it anymore!

          #5 damaris

          • Jr. Member
          • 462 posts

            Posted 02 August 2009 - 10:04 PM

            Your father has taken too much attention away from you already. It is your day not his continue yours plans as scheduled. If he shows up let him know thats what RSVP means. I have the same issue with my father and I was going back and forth on whether to invite him or not. I chose not to, he has never been an active part in my life so on my wedding day I don't need the drama!
            65 BOOKED PLUS BRIDE & GROOM


            #6 YoursTruly

            • Sr. Member
            • 1,097 posts

              Posted 03 August 2009 - 02:06 PM

              Your father sounds like he was and always will be a non-issue! Do not stress about it. You did yourpart by sending an invite. If he chooses to havehis own agenda, let him worry about that--you do not need to cater to him at this point, that's some BS. gotta love the grandparents, but in this case, leave it alone already.

              #7 Prettyhazardous

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              • 712 posts

                Posted 03 August 2009 - 03:28 PM

                LOL Thank you ladies. I didn't want to seem ignorant by not contacting him, but I don't want to make that the story of my life. And I don't want to give him the idea that I care, bc I really really don't....

                #8 jenninjamaica

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                • 547 posts

                  Posted 03 August 2009 - 03:47 PM

                  I'm sorry you have to even deal with this stress! Its your wedding and since he isn't an important person in your life, who cares. You gave him a chance, which he's lucky he got. So don't stress over it anymore. Don't let him make you feel guilty, just carry on as planned! Good luck!

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