Pet rules

[kate.com]

PET RULES

 

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

 

Dear Dogs and Cats,

 

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food.

The other dishes are mine and contain my food.

Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

 

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.

Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

 

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this.

Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort.

Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.

It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible.

I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

 

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.

If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open.

I must exit through the same door I entered.

Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.

 

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.

I cannot stress this enough!

 

 

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

 

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

 

 

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less

2. Don't ask for money all the time

3. Are easier to train

4. Normally come when called

5. Never ask to drive the car

6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends

7. Don't smoke or drink

8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions

9. Don't want to wear your clothes

10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...

11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

[boscobel]

Love this!!

[~Nicole~]

Hehehehe..... I like that Kate.

[amygirl1169]

Too funny, love this!

[The Mandy in Chandy]

haha! this is something I wish my two new puppies could read. As for my other dog, she already thinks she's human and there's no changing her mind!

[ErinB]

Love this! So perfect and so true!

[Vikki]

I like this one. Someone sent it around last year and I actually printed it out and left it in the breakroom.

[ACDCDCAC]

bahahahahahahahahahaha

 

omg kate you know i needed that laugh today! so funny

 

ps i swear to gosh i am not stalking you today, i just keep posting after you

[Love3]

tru true but funny

[kate.com]

I posted this after I heard a big rrrrrrriiiiiippppp coming from the living room. Went to check it out and little Sophie decided to help herself to a chunk of the leather ottoman. I guess I would be more pissed but she has done it before and we left the ottoman there so she goes to that instead of say the leather chairs.

Cute but oh so naughty pup!