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Need reassurance for just bride/groom wedding

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#1 sand2487

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    Posted 24 July 2009 - 09:18 PM

    Hi everyone!

    My fiance & I initially decided to have a wedding in Maui with just the two of us, but now I am having second thoughts about excluding my immediate family and close friends. I would love to invite them, however I know that my family will not be able to afford the travel expenses. I feel like if I would be burdening them by asking them to travel all the way to Maui for my wedding. Also, my fiance & I are paying for everything ourselves and on a tight budget so it would be hard to entertain friends & family abroad. I think I should stick with our initial decision and maybe have an AHR once we return. I think I am just worried about my family feeling left out!

    Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Thanks so much for any advice!!!!

    #2 iwantadreamswedding

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      Posted 25 July 2009 - 06:16 PM

      Well, I was in a similar situation, but I'm having a 10 yr vow renewal. We eloped the first time around and I was also going to have just the 2 of us for a destination VR. I booked my resort and the ceremony and makeup artist, but in the end I decided to stay here and have my ceremony. I couldn't afford to take my kids, and I just felt too guilty about doing it without them there to witness it. In the end, I found it's going to be more expensive to have it here, but not too much more. And I feel better about having my family to witness it.

      #3 iwantadreamswedding

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        Posted 25 July 2009 - 06:21 PM

        If you keep you invite list really small, you could probably afford to do it in this country. Like I'm only having about 50 people, and I'm renting out a church that is very inexpensive. I'm also renting out their reception hall, which is inexpensive as well. I'm probably going to have my family do the cooking. In the end, it won't cost me all that much, and I'll get to have my fam there to witness it.

        #4 sand2487

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          Posted 27 July 2009 - 05:45 PM

          Thanks for the advice! My fiance and I have talked about it more and we are set on having a ceremony with just the two of us and an AHR with all of our friends and family when we get back home. It was tough, but I think this is the best decision for us!

          #5 Love3

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            Posted 27 July 2009 - 06:26 PM

            no it is your wedding and your decisions! If you are o.k with having no family there then do it! Probably less headache. I would invite them and put the ball in their court

            #6 Inked1

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              Posted 27 July 2009 - 08:56 PM

              I think a wedding with just the two of you will be such a beautiful and meaningful thing, it's what fits for you so by far the best choice!

              #7 julzcabo

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              • 37 posts

                Posted 27 July 2009 - 10:53 PM

                Well, you could always redo your vows at the AHR. Maybe a family member or friend can perform a symbolic ceremony? Just keep it short and sweet. You could also videotape your wedding in Maui and show it at the AHR so that people could see what it was like.

                #8 FatCracker

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                  Posted 28 July 2009 - 01:54 AM

                  I think your idea is perfect, and it's something that you both want! We were in the same position and had the same worries.

                  We really wanted to have it just the two of us...no stress, more intimate.
                  We thought about a small at home ceremony or inviting everyone to a DW, but the more we thought about it the more we stressed. We really just wanted it to be about us!
                  Our families both said they wanted to be there. So we made all the arrangements for us and what we wanted. After we booked, we sent out a very informal email with all the details to the closest friends and family. We let everyone know that this is what we were doing, we would love for them to join us but with no obligations as it would be VERY informal...as if they couldn't guess by the invite...teehee!
                  If they couldn't make it we would be having an AHR when we return. I stressed waiting for the RSVP's but as it turns out, only my best friend and her husband will be coming along with us...8 )
                  Everyone is very excited for us, and of course want to be there, but they know this is what we want for our day... and they can't wait for the AHR.

                  Remember, it's all about what you and your fiance want!
                  Good luck, and happy planning!

                  #9 tracyann

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                  • 189 posts

                    Posted 28 July 2009 - 08:57 AM

                    I too think your idea is perfect-- just the two of you for the ceremony- then come back for an AHR. I understand about wanting family there, but I also understand about the costs- and I am finding out it is MUCH more stressful when you have family to consider too!


                    #10 kate.com


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                      Posted 28 July 2009 - 09:27 AM

                      Sounds great!
                      Just an FYI that your friends and family will probably consider your AHR the "real wedding" and word it that way and my advice is to let them. When you have an AHR include your family/friends by assigning little tasks and let them help... you will have already had your dream wedding:)

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