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Bridesmaid finanical issue


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#1 Lady_Di

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    Posted 21 July 2009 - 04:09 PM

    Hey ladies!

    I am so excited to start planning for my July 2010 wedding in Maya Rivieria!

    I am in process selecting my BMs. I would like one of my good friends to be my BM but she does not have a steady job. I was wondering if I asked her anyway to see what she says or just not make her a BM and invite her to the wedding in case if she can make it?

    As much I would like to pay for her travel but we can't afford it...

    What would you guys do if you were in my shoes?

    #2 CrystalM

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      Posted 21 July 2009 - 04:14 PM

      I am in your shoes. If she is a close enough friend that you want her to be in your bridal party, you definitely should ask!

      Mine has committed to being there and is excited to be there. I'm not holding my breath about it, but if she can't come, then she can't come.
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      #3 starchild

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        Posted 21 July 2009 - 04:25 PM

        One of my BMs was in grad school at the time of my wedding and I knew she didn't have the money but I asked her anyway because she is a close friend.

        I explained that I wouldn't be hurt if she couldn't make it but that it felt right to ask. As it turned out, her mom paid for everything as a birthday gift to her, so you never know what could happen! I hope it works out for you :)

        #4 mich999

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          Posted 21 July 2009 - 04:36 PM

          I would ask her. You could tell her that you understand if finances prevent her from accepting, but at least give her the option of deciding and letting her know that she was your choice from day one!

          #5 hunniebee724

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            Posted 21 July 2009 - 04:48 PM

            I would ask her and tell her you'll understand if she can't make it. The wedding is a year away, maybe her situation will change.

            #6 gbyrd

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              Posted 21 July 2009 - 05:09 PM

              I am in that same position. However my friend also owes me money for a trip we took to Panama and she also comes with a lot of baggage, I don't need the added stress. I asked her but now I really don't want her to be in it! I know... very passive aggressive!

              #7 Hoosierfan

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                Posted 21 July 2009 - 05:13 PM

                I agree with the comments above - definitely ask her. If you don't ask, you run the risk of her being hurt that you didn't (if she's a good friend). I'd err on the side of letting her decide but at least expressing that you really want to make her a part of your day. And who knows? By this time next year, her circumstances may have changed and it may be a non-issue anyway.
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                #8 ~Jessica~

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                  Posted 22 July 2009 - 10:30 AM

                  I would totally ask her. Like the other girls said you never know what her situation may be between now and then. And it is better to ask her and let her make the decision if she can afford it or not. I am sure she would be totally hurt if you didn't ask her because you didn't think she could afford it. Plus some travel agencies offer payment plans so she can pay some each month before the trip to get it paid off!

                  #9 DanielleNDerek

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                    Posted 22 July 2009 - 03:13 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by starchild
                    One of my BMs was in grad school at the time of my wedding and I knew she didn't have the money but I asked her anyway because she is a close friend.

                    I explained that I wouldn't be hurt if she couldn't make it but that it felt right to ask. As it turned out, her mom paid for everything as a birthday gift to her, so you never know what could happen! I hope it works out for you :)
                    I would do what Jamy did, its great advice.
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                    #10 Lady_Di

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                      Posted 23 July 2009 - 03:53 PM

                      Thank you so much guys for replying!

                      I will ask her regardless!




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