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#31 JanJan84

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    Posted 23 July 2009 - 12:10 PM

    You do not sound harsh at all Future Mrs. Kt Ellis I understand exactly how you feel. I was feeling the same way. And I have forgiven him but it was a very selfish and careless act on his part. For the eight years we've been together he has never did anything this stupid or anything any where near what he did with our wedding money. So this is why I was so shocked. But I understand that what he did was unexcusable. We had a very long talk and I honeslty knows that he is sorry. I have 23 days till my wedding and I have half of the money. So wish me luck on getting the other half. And thanks for your insight I love honesty. Whe someone is keeping it real it is impossible to be harsh cause I would let someone no how I really felt about a situation the way you let me no how you felt about mines so I appreciate that.

    #32 JanJan84

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      Posted 23 July 2009 - 12:17 PM

      Thanks for your advice Stay-C. I actually didn't miss the point. As I responded to another post we have been together for eight years and he has never done anything like this. He absolutely disrespected me by not communicating with me and taking the money with out even asking or telling me what he was going to do you are 100% correct when it comes to that. And I was ready to kill him I am much more relaxed and calm now but when I found out I was a mess but I sat down and had a long talk with him and I no he is truly sorry and we will move on from here. You see the thing is I no the man I am about to marry we've been together since I was a freshman in Highschool and though he made this terrible mistake I forgave him cause I am not perfect I made my share of mistakes as well and we will learn from them together and be stronger as a couple. I really apprciate your advice thank you.

      #33 SSNM

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        Posted 24 July 2009 - 01:31 AM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by JanJan84
        Thanks for your advice Stay-C. I actually didn't miss the point. As I responded to another post we have been together for eight years and he has never done anything like this. He absolutely disrespected me by not communicating with me and taking the money with out even asking or telling me what he was going to do you are 100% correct when it comes to that. And I was ready to kill him I am much more relaxed and calm now but when I found out I was a mess but I sat down and had a long talk with him and I no he is truly sorry and we will move on from here. You see the thing is I no the man I am about to marry we've been together since I was a freshman in Highschool and though he made this terrible mistake I forgave him cause I am not perfect I made my share of mistakes as well and we will learn from them together and be stronger as a couple. I really apprciate your advice thank you.
        I am glad that you are both committed to working it out; I was just worried that the gravity of this was being under-estimated. Hopefully your FH will see that he doesn't have to carry the burden by himself and that he has another strong, reliable person to count on in you (not to mention a huge capacity for forgiveness; I would still be seething in anger and insult if I was in your shoes). I wish you the best.

        #34 Jen2113

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          Posted 24 July 2009 - 07:57 AM

          Jennie,

          Just make sure you trust your soon to be husband. If you dont trust him now when it's supposed to be all fun and bliss, how will you ever?

          I hope you are just overwelmed with wedding drama but you really should sit down and make sure you are in love with the man you are marrying b/c you arent doing him or yourself any favors by just going with the flow. Do your friends like him? Does your family? Not like their opinon should matter all that much, but most likely, they only want the best for you. I value my friends' opinions the most and if they like him, he's usually a good guy.

          Good luck! I wish you all the best

          #35 Jen2113

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            Posted 24 July 2009 - 08:04 AM

            OK I just read some more of the details that are unraveling,

            candid opinion: you can do better. If you're still in love w him, put the wedding off and seek therapy asap. Money is the least of your worries right now.

            Keep in mind though, I'm no mushpie, I'm a no-nonsense lady and I don't take BS from anyone. I've dated a multitude of people and seen it all between my friends, families and my own relationships. I'll give you what I think straightup and what I think is that you can do better.

            #36 YoursTruly

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              Posted 24 July 2009 - 11:33 AM

              WOW---Reckless, dishonesty, no communication, financial jeopardy and ruin, these are HUGE issues. Mind you, I always like to take emotions from the situation and be logical , but I am coming up with nothing good from this situation. Granted the worst things is for a man not to be able to bring in his share, but ESPECIALLY not having a job, why would he evn go to Vegas or spend the money, even if he thought he could double it That is a colossal risk when you have nothing! So if the mortgage, rent or some other bill was due, when does common sense kick in that the consequences of doing something so hugely wrong on all levels will leave you homeless? OMG, my heart aches for you and I hope you can see through the rose colored glasses no meaness intended at all! Yes we make mistakes so I hope he is able to get the money if staying with him is the right decision. Wow....saying a prayer for you that all things will come to light in the few short weeks you both have left and the right decision for your future is made.

              #37 jennie

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                Posted 27 July 2009 - 07:24 AM

                JAn JAn,
                Hope that thinks work out for you. I really don't know what I would do in your given situation. I agree with the ladies that financial issues are i big "deal breaker" in relationships of all kinds.
                Just be very careful and trust yourself. Good luck to you.

                #38 jennie

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                  Posted 27 July 2009 - 07:30 AM

                  Jen213,
                  I do trust him....totaly. We haven't really left each others side since the day we started dating. Maybe that's why everyone is all dramma up in my business cause he truely has changed.
                  We went to a rock concert this past weekend and had a really good "date night" with each other. The way up and back we had a good talk and yes.... I agree, it's easier to go through things together and support each other. He knows how I feel now and gets WHY I may be lead to feel these things. He's really opened up to me since we first ha our talk about it.
                  I'm reassured that all the dramma is just nonsense.
                  One more week til we leave! Woot!

                  #39 mrsrhbtobe

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                    Posted 27 July 2009 - 09:24 AM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by jennie
                    Jen213,
                    I do trust him....totaly. We haven't really left each others side since the day we started dating. Maybe that's why everyone is all dramma up in my business cause he truely has changed.
                    We went to a rock concert this past weekend and had a really good "date night" with each other. The way up and back we had a good talk and yes.... I agree, it's easier to go through things together and support each other. He knows how I feel now and gets WHY I may be lead to feel these things. He's really opened up to me since we first ha our talk about it.
                    I'm reassured that all the dramma is just nonsense.
                    One more week til we leave! Woot!

                    Great to hear that you're feeling better Jennie! I'm also glad you feel understood by him.....communication is key :) Best of luck to you.
                    Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.

                    #40 Preciousmi811

                    Preciousmi811
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                      Posted 27 July 2009 - 08:14 PM

                      Wishing you the best of luck in getting the money. I just have one question to ask you, you said he has never done anything like this before are you sure? Only because I went through something like this myself and all the times I thought I misplaced money 20 here 20 there (I thought I was going crazy) turns out he was stealing the money. Now I know this is a drastic scenario but just think back and make sure there isn't other questionable times. When people say they want to kill themselves it's a very powerful AND manipulative statement. Wishing you the best.....
                      One Love

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