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Can you ask guests to "rsvp" to a STD?


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#11 Can'tHardlyWait

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    Posted 09 June 2007 - 06:52 PM

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Adamsgrrl
    So wait your FIL's are paying for ALL your Guests
    Yup! Not to sound ungrateful (because I am SOO thankful that they are paying for our wedding), but it came with a catch. Originally, FI and I wanted a really small, intimate (and affordable) wedding on a beach somewhere. His parents took personal offense, "why were we excluding all their friends," etc. Before we knew it, we were having a 250 person wedding in Manhattan! Long story short, after about a month of arguments, we compromised on a large, not so intimate wedding... on a beach. Unfortunately, his parents still couldn't hate the idea more... they just fely like it was wrong to ask people to travel when we were both from NY (clearly, they had forgotten that we wanted a really small wedding with just family and close friends). Anyway, they promised to stop insulting th e DW idea if they could pay for the guests. We agreed and now everyone is happy... for now

    Sorry to rant - it's been a rough couple of months and I am still very new to all this!

    #12 Can'tHardlyWait

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      Posted 09 June 2007 - 07:03 PM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by dragonfly
      Are you letting people know ahead of time that the accomadations, and ai are paid for? This will surely determine if people say yes or not. By the way really great of you fil.
      All our friends and family know that the hotel and ai are paid for. The only people who wouldn't know are fi's friends (most of whom me and and my fi don't know at all). I wasn't planning on announcing it on any of the std's because, the truth is, I am not so excited about not knowing over half the guest list at my destination wedding! Is that awful? I just think that the people who love us and want to be there will be there, regardless of whether they get a free vacation out of it.

      Sorry about the multiple posts - I am still learning how to navigate the forums :)

      #13 Can'tHardlyWait

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        Posted 10 June 2007 - 11:03 AM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by MikkiStreak
        There were a few reasons why I wished I would have just skipped the tentative RSVP on the STD. First, my instincts were pretty accurate. I got back responses that pretty much matched 90% of my assumptions. That alone would have been enough of an idea for what to do with room blocks and planning numbers. Second, I think when I got the no's back, I sat there thinking to myself, 'so now what? Do I ask them to tell me that again in a formal invite a couple months away from the wedding?' About half of our guest list is older generations, so I think it might be a little confusing to have to submit 2 RSVP's from the STD and the formal invite. Third, I opened the door to hand-written comments on the response cards. And, some of the family was pretty vocal in expressing their displeasure over a destination wedding. That kind of deflated my enthusiasm a bit and now I'm more hesitant about wanting to include people.... I just wasn't very prepared for those responses from family...

        I would say that if you're inviting 150 and you already expect 100 confirmations, then drop about 25-30% of that number and use that for a starting point in room blocks and such. Just talk to your TA/resort about what happens if you need to add/remove some of the rooms in your block so you're clear on how it impacts your finances...
        Maria - that totally sucks! I completely sympathize with you... especially because the most vocal opponents of a dw were my fil! Just like you, I assumed people would be really excited about attending my wedding, even more so because they get to go to mexico! Needless to say, I was wrong... Atleast all our friends a really enthusiastic about the wedding I guess I'll give myself a little more time to decide. If I want to make the STD myself (which I do), I have to wait until the end of july because I am studying for the bar right now which is a 10 hour, 7 days a week thing at this point... just one more decision to procrastinate about ...

        #14 -Kate-

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          Posted 10 June 2007 - 11:05 AM

          Another bar taker!!! Good luck lady - a few of us have been there. It sucks, but it's the best feeling ever once you get the "passed" results!!

          #15 Can'tHardlyWait

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            Posted 10 June 2007 - 05:25 PM

            Another bar taker!!! Good luck lady - a few of us have been there. It sucks, but it's the best feeling ever once you get the "passed" results!!
            Thank you so much!!! I am definitely going to need some good luck considering how distracting this wedding has been! How can anyone think about crim law when there are STD to design?!?!? (hehe) Were you planning while you studied? I could use any advice you have to offer... for the most part, studying when I want to be searching for wedding dresses feels like this:

            #16 -Kate-

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              Posted 10 June 2007 - 07:18 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by GalitInNY


              Thank you so much!!! I am definitely going to need some good luck considering how distracting this wedding has been! How can anyone think about crim law when there are STD to design?!?!? (hehe) Were you planning while you studied? I could use any advice you have to offer... for the most part, studying when I want to be searching for wedding dresses feels like this:
              I didn't get engaged until a year and a few months after I took the bar so I'm no help. But, I totally planned my wedding (using this site) between the test and results and getting a job. I wasn't engaged then, but I had all this time so I just planned it. Maybe that will help - just know that there will be time after the test to do wedding stuff!!! And you really don't want to have to take that crappy test again!!!

              #17 Can'tHardlyWait

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                Posted 10 June 2007 - 08:27 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by LALA
                I didn't get engaged until a year and a few months after I took the bar so I'm no help. But, I totally planned my wedding (using this site) between the test and results and getting a job. I wasn't engaged then, but I had all this time so I just planned it. Maybe that will help - just know that there will be time after the test to do wedding stuff!!! And you really don't want to have to take that crappy test again!!!

                Your post has motivated me to do two things:
                1) pass the bar and
                2) hold off on getting a job until I get this wedding organized!!!

                Just kidding... sort of




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