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My bachelorette party - Need to vent

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42 replies to this topic

#1 maryyy

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    Posted 08 July 2009 - 12:16 AM

    I will try to keep this short.

    My bridesmaids asked me, maybe three months ago, how I imagined my bachelorette party. I told them I wanted something simple, a nice restaurant and a nice club to go party after. I also said they can surprise me with challenges, a special outfit, and other things like that, but that nothing more was needed to make me happy. A week later, I sent them the list of the people I would like to invite, like they requested. At that moment, they told me to mind my own business (in a nice way), and that they actually would handle everything to surprise me. I am kind of a control freak and I was stressing over that, but I managed to focus on all the other things I can control and had to do for the wedding.

    Now, just a little background to help you understand what happens next: FH and I bought a new house last year. We decided to build all the inside of it. A year ago, there were no stairs, no bathrooms, no floors, no kitchen, no nothing (except windows and bricks!). We are still building it and were are no into the painting process and there is dust and it smells paint all over the house. The chairs, tables, tv, are all in the basement or at our parents houses. We are going camping every night in our living room.

    Well today FH learned that the girls want to "host" the party at my house. FH told them what we are going into with the renovations right now, but it seems that there are no other possibilities. I am not supposed to know about that, the date was kept secret, but FH wanted to inform me that we will need to stop our painting job and clean the house. We have very busy schedules, work is stressing me out right know, and FH owns his business and he is receinving guys from China to discuss business Thursday and Friday. During lunch tomorrow I'll go buy new curtains, intall them in the evening while FH will try to make our house looks welcoming. I can't sleep! I'm thinking at everything I need to do before Saturday and I just want to cry. We haven't officially invited anyone yet in our house and now, I need to host my bachelorette party and act like I didn't know about it!

    I don't know what we will be doing in my house (chillin?!) and what's the plan for the evening - but the look on FH face worth a million buck - he was sad for me. Finally, FH told me that my 8 friends that were invited received the invitation yesterday and 7 have declined the invitation because they have plans for the weekend. It hurts, but I understand: they didn't even get a full week notice! Turns out I'm going to spend the evening in my almost-empty-house-with-no-furnitures with members of FH family and one friend.

    That said, I'm glad that my bridesmaids organized something for me. They put time and effort in it, I think, but I'm sad it turns out like that. All I can tell me is that I will probably have some fun and I try to focus on that, but it's just difficult right now. I would like this whole thing to be over.

    #2 Jacilynda

    • Sr. Member
    • 2,777 posts

      Posted 08 July 2009 - 12:30 AM

      oh honey! I hear ya!! My bridal shower is this weekend. Thank god we've done the majority of the work on the backyard. My BM offered to do my shower then decided she wasn't going to and was no longer a BM so another BM stepped up but didn't have money to really do anything i just told her to let me know what she needs. Well now my BM is back in and wanting to help w/ the shower so I thought great! She doesn't want it at her house anymore but wants it at mine cause its bigger, except we just sanded all the walls and they need painted. Not gonna happen before the weekend. We have so much work to do so i'm hoping the weather will be good cause we're gonna be outside. And this weekend she asked me to come up w/ games and make sure I remember to buy favors, gifts and prizes WTF!!! And she forgot to send out my invites I had made after she bailed so I have LOTS of close friends not coming cause they had previous plans

      We'll get through it! At least our big days are SOON!

      #3 alkoch

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      • 515 posts

        Posted 08 July 2009 - 12:47 AM

        That stinks, I hate when people try to do something nice but it turns out to be a burden on you! This situation kinda happened for my birthday one year and I hated the feeling of not being in control when everything was unraveling. I hope everything goes the best it can and maybe you can have a redo one day without all the drama! Good luck, get drunk and forget all your worries!

        #4 LIW

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        • 197 posts

          Posted 08 July 2009 - 06:49 AM

          I'm really sorry to hear that things are not working out.

          If it's just going to be a small group of you, why don't you suggest that you all go out for a nice meal and a few drinks, that way, you won't be in your house. With all that you have going on right now, you don't need the extra stress.

          38 people plus bride and groom coming to Cuba!

          #5 michellepicksbrent

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          • 1,448 posts

            Posted 08 July 2009 - 07:18 AM

            I totally agree with LIW. Is this still a surprise? Maybe you can have your FH suggest that you go out for dinner and drinks?

            #6 Kristy!


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              Posted 08 July 2009 - 09:20 AM

              This is how DH's friends were with his bachelor party. I felt so bad for him. Hopefully things turn out better than you're expecting!

              #7 maryyy

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              • 139 posts

                Posted 08 July 2009 - 04:26 PM

                It is still a surprise. I shouldn’t be aware of anything, but FH decided to tell me, b/c we now need to stop our painting job and clean the house. (And if he decided to stop working/painting with no reasons, I would know there is something wrong…)

                FH suggested going to a restaurant but my bridesmaids are stubborn. I think he really tried to convince them that it was not an appropriate moment. They said no, that they can’t change the plan. We may have a few drinks at a club after, but I’m not sure yet. By the way, eight to ten people are coming.

                I will do what I have to do now – make sure the house is as clean and inviting as possible – and then go with the flow.

                Thanks ladies for your comments, I am feeling (a little bit) better. I will keep you posted on how it went…

                #8 jk1101

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                  Posted 08 July 2009 - 04:42 PM

                  I would be totally stressed too. It sounds like FI suggested to them going somewhere else, but maybe he should TELL them that using your house is out of the question. Maybe he was trying to be nice, but it sounds like all of this is really killing both of you, and this is supposed to be a fun thing, not a stressful thing.
                  Just my opinion.

                  #9 estella1007

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                  • 475 posts

                    Posted 08 July 2009 - 04:51 PM

                    Now, I just need to ask, because I would do something sneaky like this...do you think that your FI is in on it somehow, and that they have a bigger surprise, and this is their way of throwing you way off?

                    #10 jajajaja

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                    • 9,794 posts

                      Posted 08 July 2009 - 05:20 PM

                      This is bizarre. If your FI told them that he didn't want the party there since your house is under renovations, they said "too bad. It's done." Why wouldn't they think that he would have a say in it- it's YOUR house. Plus I freak out if people come over to my house and it's not respectable looking. LIke all I can focus on is "OMG there is dirty dishes in the sink and my floors are dirty." I can't imagine how they wouldn't see that this would be stressful to the couple. Someone has to clean the house!

                      Anyways, I really hope it's a situation like Estella described. I hope they are trying to throw you off. I also can't imagine your FI making you stress over it though.

                      If this is really how the party is, then I'm sorry. That's just poor planning on your BMs part. Maybe you can just have your own party a little later to make up for it. My DH had a snooze fest party the first time so we had a co-ed party to make up for it. It was a BLAST and we planned it all.
                      Happily married since 2008

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