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R.I.P Future Father-in-Law

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#11 NaM

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    Posted 06 July 2009 - 11:43 AM

    Jessica, I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you and your family are going through. I don't think there is ever going to be anything that can be said to make it better or easier but I hope you know a lot of people are thinking about you.
    I don't think it's my place to offer much adivce here but I personally would not cancel the wedding. Life must go on and this will be a positive and joyous day in your life, something I'm sure everyone will need. I'm sure your FFIL wouldn't want you to cancel and he'll be there looking down.
    That being said, I wish you peace and that this can eventually bring your family closer. I am so very sorry.

    #12 Geralyn

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      Posted 06 July 2009 - 11:49 AM

      Jessica first let me say I am so sorry for your loss. My father passed away this past New Years Eve (6 months before our wedding) I was devastated. I am still grieving although it has gotten a little easier. The first month it was hard for me to even get out of bed and I would cry all the time. I never thought about canceling the wedding. My father loved FI and I know he would not want us to cancel or postpone the wedding. It will def be hard for me with him not being there to walk me down the aisle or to dance with but I know he will still be with us.

      I would give FI a little time before you bring up anything about canceling the wedding or not...he probably isn't thinking very clear at all right now...but I bet your FFIL would prob not want you to cancel and it is def good for the family to have something positive to look forward to. You would be amazed by the human spirit and how much it can actually endure and still go on! If you need to talk please don't hesitate to PM me.

      #13 JAM0920

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        Posted 06 July 2009 - 11:51 AM

        I'm so sorry for your loss! As others have said it will be a positive time for your family to look forward to! remember him at your wedding would be a great thing to do and I'm sure he will be looking down on you guys and be very proud! you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers!

        #14 Helen_S81

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          Posted 06 July 2009 - 06:46 PM

          I'm so sorry for your loss Jessica. I'd give it a few days before you make any decisions about your wedding. I agree with the others though, it might be good to have something positive to look forward to.

          My condolences to you and your family.

          #15 YaelM


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            Posted 06 July 2009 - 06:51 PM

            I am so sorry for you, FI, and his family - this is such a terrible thing and I have no real words of wisdom. All you can do is be there for FI and his family. I agree with everyone else that you shouldnt cancel the wedding - it will be a positive and joyous occasion :)


            #16 *HOLLY*

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              Posted 06 July 2009 - 06:55 PM

              I to agree dont cancel because I am sure that is not what your FFIL (RIP) would want. Do something like the other ladies said to remember him. Have a table setting placed were he would sit and a picture. Just something for you and your FI to know he is there with you in spirit. My heart goes out to you and your IL's. Take a deep breath time will heal your pain!

              #17 blacksred

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                Posted 07 July 2009 - 09:37 PM

                My thoughts are with you during this difficult time

                #18 EDSROSA

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                  Posted 08 July 2009 - 08:03 PM

                  I am sorry to hear about your loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I agree with everyone else, don't cancel the wedding. It was something he was looking foward to and it is something that can help but a smile on there faces.

                  #19 Vikki

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                    Posted 12 July 2009 - 05:54 PM

                    Aww sweetie. I'm so sorry this happened.

                    I agree-don't cancel the wedding. Maybe do something special during your ceremony to honor and remember him?

                    My grandfather passed away 3 weeks after we got engaged. (April 8th) He was so excited about the wedding and it was devastating for me when it happened.

                    Like your FI my mom had a really rough time coping. I've seen my mom go through a lot of things but nothing like what she's been through the last couple of months. All I can say is sometimes when grieving, people need to do things that seem strange or abnormal. Sometimes it's a way of coming to grips with what's happened and the healing process. Just be patient if your FI seems to experience any of that. Some of the things my mom has initiated or pushed for as a result of my grandfather's death have been really out of character for her but she is making it through ok and it gets a little better each day.

                    Just be there for him-your love and support right now is the most important thing you can give to help him.

                    #20 btn1091

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                      Posted 12 July 2009 - 06:37 PM

                      I'm so very sorry for your loss! When I lost my father 3 years ago... all I needed was for my FI to be there for me... a shoulder to cry on... someone to listen to me. I found with all the stress and sadness of a death, the best thing to help with is the cooking and regular functioning of the house hold. I thought it was the nicest thing when people brought over meals that just needed to be heated up, so that I could quickly prepare food for the family/ friends (there are always so many people visiting or staying over). My FI took the week off with me and spent the time doing all the little things around the house, and just being there for me to help me deal.
                      As for the wedding... I wouldn't cancel it! As you mentioned it was something that your FI's father was really excited about, and I'm sure that he would still want your wedding to continue. I will be placing a picture of my father in a locket that i will have with me when I walk down the isle, so it's like he's still there to give me away like he always wanted. It would be nice to have some sort of tribute for him there... in whatever way makes you and the family feel would be a nice memory.
                      Deepest sympathy for everything that you and your family are going through right now.

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