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SusanK

Need suggestions: how to remember his father

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Matt's father passed away from colon cancer a few months before we met. Any suggestions as to how we can honor him at our ceremony? I know a lot of people light candles, but I think it's going to be too windy for that. We're thinking about leaving a chair open next to Matt's mom. Should we "adorn" it somehow?

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Maybe you could decorate it very simply and put a sign on it that says "In memory of _____" or something like that. Or maybe put a nice picture there as well. Could you maybe do something other than a candle, like a sand ceremony? Maybe have his mom participate too?

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My dad passed away when I was 17 and my sister just got married and honored him at her wedding. I am not sure where she got her "traditional" idea from but she left a seat open for him and then ,when my mom walked her down, she put a white lily on the seat. So my sister carried her flowers and my mom had the lily. We did have to get after my mom because she put her purse on the seat BangHead.gif

She also had read that a sunflower was another flower recommended. I am sure there is symbolism behind the two flowers I am not sure what that is.

 

She made mention of it in the program so she didn't put a sign up. I like it better that way- seemed classy.

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I read somewhere (I think it was here) about someone who was having little charms made out of photographs attached to their bouquet. I was thinking of doing this to honor my grandparents and his grandmother.

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I was thinking about the bouquet frames too.

 

There is a thread around here somewhere, started a long time ago with a poem that someone was going to use to honor there father. I will see if I can find it, I have no idea what the title was.

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Another suggestion is that instead of giving favors give a donation to colon cancer research andmention it in the program or you can print little cards "in honor of"

 

I really lik ethe idea of the empty chair with maybe a small framed picture.

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I love the idea of the flower on the chair, I think its very sweet. My aunt died last year and I am going to carry something of hers I think, but otherwise my family would be too emotional if I did anything else. Her nitch is also in Napa (she is the person who started my love for the area) and so in the morning my mom, grandma and I will go and put a boquet of wedding flowers and open a bottle of champagne that she gave to us there.

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We're in the same situation- music is a big thing in both our families, but especially in his. His mom and dad were both well-known performers in the Hispanic culture so we're doing most of the rememberences with music. First, when he arrives, we'll start playing some of his dad's favorite songs, specifically "Imagine" by John Lennon. Those who attend and know his dad well, will get it.

 

His dad passed away, but none of our remaining parents can attend the wedding due to age and health. So, we've thought about having an empty chair for all 4 of them, with something on the chair to indicate their presence: like a small fishing pole and picture of his dad in one chair, a photo of his mom and a copy of the "Most Notable Women in Texas" book (his mom is written about in it), and I still have to think about what we're going to do for my parents.

 

Another thing we're going to do is play the last recording his mom ever made during the hand ceremony. And it will be really cool because it'll be the first time his siblings will have heard it restored! We're surprising them with it, and we'll burn copies of it for them to keep also.

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Mikki-

Your ideas are beautiful! You have obviously put a lot of thought into this, and I am sure it will be very moving for all.

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