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Perplexy

Stag n' Doe - to have, or not to have?

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In our area, a buck n doe (stag n doe) is traditional. DW or not, its still great to raise funds. They are traditionally organized by the wedding party not the bride and groom. The DW idea we thought would be cheap but it definitely is not!

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We are absolutely having a stag and doe because we are having a formal AHR. Our AHR isnt a bbq because its in january so with dinner, hall rental, open bar, dj, etc. Our entire Wedding is costing us about $17000. Our guests know our AHR must be costing a pretty penny and have no problem coming out to have some cheap drinks and jello shots on a saturday night to help us raise some money. Its a really good time and because my FI's family isnt around and my family can only "help out" so much we can use the help. Plus my FI and I are both bartenders so we have some really nice prizes. Im sure it will be a great time

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We're having one as well (MOH insisted). Reason being both our parents got laid off last year so DH and I are now responsible for paying for 7 trips. Plus we're having an AHR. MOH said it will be a fun night, most of our friends won't mind and it can only help us out a little bit in the end.

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We are having a stag and doe and a formal AHR with 200 guests when we return from Cuba. In our circle of friends, it is totally normal to have a stag and doe, and we have bought tickets/been to so many over the years and never thought there was anything tacky about it. It's a really great way to get everyone out together for a cheap night and a great time. I don't see anything wrong with helping out a couple for their big day. I guess it does depend on what the norm is in your area/group...but I say go for it!

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i say go for it... like some of the other girls said i look forward to them. my friends are getting married in dominican in march and they had a one last month. my friends are having one for us in toronto when we come for a visit in the summer. people back home keep asking me if i'm going to have one and for awhile i was saying probably not but they would think i was crazy not to.

o know for my town where i grew up it's a big tradition.

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I don't think its tacky at all. Invite people who you would invite to your wedding. Alot of friends and family who can't make it love the idea. You don't have to turn it into a money grab. Make it a fun party and get together. I have paid for enough stag and doe tickets, wedding presents, shower gifts in my time. Just because you are having a destination wedding does not mean you have to miss out on all the fun pre wedding events!

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In Manitoba we call them "Wedding Socials". I think my Fiancee and I are more excited about throwing a wedding social than our wedding. In MB it's more of a party for all the people who you can't/didn't invite.

 

Tickets to get in are generally $10, drinks are fairly cheap and they always have a door prize, raffles, games and a "perfume" draw (Texas mickey of booze).

 

My fiance and I always attend socials for people who are getting married knowing we aren't invited to the wedding. We aren't upset we aren't going to the wedding because if we aren't invited it's because we don't really know them or haven't hung out since school. or they are having a small wedding.

 

To us, it's the same price as going to the bar. It's a good excuse to get out and we have a pretty good chance at winning some raffle prizes. All the while helping out some people who are going to be spending some serious money in the next little while.

 

For our social, we'll be inviting all our old friends from high school we haven't seen in a while (graduated 5 years ago). Our parents will invite there friends. It should be a good time. And maybe we'll make some money to pay for our DW.

 

I see it as unfortunate that more provinces and states don't have social or "stag n' doe's" They are great for getting together with old friends.

 

Billy

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I went to 3 Stag n' Doe's in 2008 for DW's and neither were frowned upon or looked at badly. 2 had AHR's when they got back and one didn't. Yes DW are suppose to be cheaper but can still cost a pretty penny. And if you're not doing an AHR then it's a good way for those guests that can't come to celebrate and help out in lieu of gifts.

I know in our situation we're going to have one!

Cheers

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We had a Stag & Doe, and we never heard one complaint. Since destination weddings are becoming so popular now, and stag and does are a timly tradition I see no problem in it. Friends and family will want to support you and share in all parts of your wedding. I say go for it..and you can even make it mexican theme. If you want some great ideas that worked and some that didn't let me know. Good luck! :)

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