In a tough spot- do I fire a bridesmaid?
Posted 30 June 2009 - 01:36 PM
Odd that she hasn't booked yet though, there's obviously something that's making her drag her feet... maybe she's strapped for cash and feeling frustrated about it??
The only way you'll know for sure is to have another heart to heart with her and try to hash things out.
Posted 30 June 2009 - 01:49 PM
Posted 30 June 2009 - 02:17 PM
Posted 30 June 2009 - 02:32 PM
Posted 30 June 2009 - 03:29 PM
Posted 30 June 2009 - 03:37 PM
| Originally Posted by YoursTruly |
wow that is a tough one. good luck with it. I dont have the best advise as I would have cut her off eons ago. I had a similar situation, friend for over 19 years and just like that--cut it off. Friends dont hurt you like that
If she hasn't paid for the trip yet and you bought her BM dress; have one more talk with her. Explain how you feel exactly like you did on here to us... If that doesn't work, then kindly explain that her behavior is not an okay way to treat a friend and that you would rather her not be in the wedding as it is causing you extra stress on what is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life.
That is just my two cents here... I hope it all works out for you!
Posted 30 June 2009 - 05:00 PM
| Originally Posted by Nikki07 |
Hmmm.... I agree with what the other girls are saying that it would be awkward to fire her but I just wanted to bring another perspective here. In my recent experience with friends getting married, it seems like it changes people temporarily. I'm not saying its right because in my mind a true friend is supportive, etc, but I think some people have a really poor way of handling their emotions and it wouldn't matter what you did to try and get her to open up, she would still remain "negative". I think its a personality thing. As horrible as it is to have someone in your wedding party that truly doesn't seem interested, you may find that after the wedding she snaps back to her normal self. Would you be willing to mend your friendship then? I dunno, I'm not standing up for her, she's definitlely out of line, but its just something to think about. I hope it all works out for you.
Posted 30 June 2009 - 05:38 PM
Posted 30 June 2009 - 07:11 PM
I have a similar situation. In my case, this girl has numerous other issues that I've been aware of for years now. The fact that she is acting less than enthusiastic most of the time about our wedding is a bit of a suprise though. She tries now and then, because she knows how she is coming across and knows that she should be acting more appropriate. Still, it shows and it's obvious. I have a hard time pretending not to notice...she's my MOH (interesting how it seems like these situations always involve that particular position), and I've been doing most of my wedding stuff/discussion with one of my other BM's.
I'm seriously thinking of just letting her off the hook. I don't want to let it fester and end up resenting her for her lack of enthusiasm or feeling like I'm dragging her into doing something she doesn't want to. I also have the feeling she'll be one of those last minute bookings...she's yet to rsvp at ALL, and I've talked to 4-5 tims since she got hers. She even called me to tell me how cute they were, then went through a b.s. discussion about BM dresses (her daughter is supposed to be a junior BM). So why would she not have rsvp'd by now? She claims she's going, has been to the web site and received the std. Just one of those peeps who thinks if they don't officially say they are coming, theres some loop hole in there. I'm not dealing with it.
http://i17.photobuck....inecollage.jpgThe Fab Four (my quads) Meryn, Kellen, Nico & Layla
http://global.thekno...rs/tt265ad.aspxhttp://www.mywedding...nnah/index.html20 STD's w. pre-lim RSVP sent 6/15/09: 7 "Yes" so far/10 guests total!
Posted 01 July 2009 - 04:33 AM
Whatever the reason for her attitude you don't deserve it. I agree with some of the other brides about talking to her about it but I would focus on the fact that she hasn't booked yet and you have paid for her dress so you would like some sort of commitment out of her (considering your wedding is in October I don't think its too much to expect her to be booked by now) . If she's not planning on going (which judging from your comments might be the case) it gives her the perfect opportunity to back out which saves you from having to "fire" her.
It probably won't be good for you relationship with her but if you let her stay in your wedding party it will eat you up inside and at the end of the day your friendship will suffer either way.
But that's just my opinion - its your wedding party and you have to do whatever makes you happy.
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