Posted 29 June 2009 - 03:27 PM
I am just starting all of the wedding planning, and of course I have already run into issues. My FI's sister is expecting a baby in the fall, so in choosing a destination, we were considering the little one (first we wanted Antigua, well still do, but then we were thinking Mexico would be easier for everyone to get to, and cheaper), so he was talking to his sister over the weekend, and she said that her first priority with the baby was to take him to easern europe (where they are from, and grandparents are still there) and I completly agree and understand that. My issues is with what she said next. When he mentioned Mexico she said that oh, she wouldn't go anyway because she doesn't like Mexico, but if it were somewhere she wanted to go, she might go, but definatly won't go if is someplace she doesn't want to go to. I just feel like she is being selfish (this is not the first time that she has to have her way). This is his only sibling and I want him to have his family there, but at the same time, I don't want this to be everything she wants (her wedding was last year, and that was a fiasco). Also, his parents are divorced, father is remarried but mom is very introverted and alone- I am afraid that if his sister doesn't go, his mom won't go (or if she does, he will have to spend all his time with her, becuase she refuses to be sociable- she also said she didn't want to go to Mexico-but hasn't said she won't go... yet). Then I was thinking of just forgetting the whole destination wedding, and having a small ceremony here, but that would still mean travel for his family (mine too for that matter) and honestly it would be easier and cheaper for her to get to Mexico than to KC.
At this point I am ready to just say forget it, lets go to to justice of the peace and be done with it, but FI wants us to have what we want (he wants a destination wedding too, but would like his family there)-- anyone have any ideas on what to do? He says it's fine without his family, but I really don't want him to regret that decision later.
We have just started the planning, and it is driving me crazy- I have stopped looking at places already just because it gives me a headache to think about finding a place that will be ok with his family, that won't cost them a fortune and will be "easy" to get to.
Am I being selfish- should I just ask his family where they are willing to go-- and plan it around that?
Any ideas/suggestions are appreciated!
Posted 29 June 2009 - 03:42 PM
Anyways, I would just hate for you to give in and then have it snowball to the point that your guests or potential guests are running the show, KWIM? I think you should sit with FI and decide what you both want and run with it! It's your day! Good luck!
Posted 29 June 2009 - 03:45 PM
You two should just sit down, talk it out and figure out EXACTLY what you both want to make your wedding exactly what you want, and then go from there. You need to be on the same page of things that are acceptable and not though.
Posted 29 June 2009 - 04:24 PM
Posted 29 June 2009 - 04:28 PM
At the very least, make yourselves happy and the ones who want to join you on your amazing day (b/c it WILL be amazing!), will join you and that is all that matters. Agree with cdnvb9 -- talk to the fiance, and figure out what you both want, and that's what matters the most. You are not being selfish and you are not obligated to poll your guests and plan it around them. Isn't this your wedding?
As an aside, my parents were NOT supportive of our getting married in Mexico, and guess what, they are going anyway, and actually bought their plane tickets last month. (A LOT of tears were shed on my part about this, believe me). The people who matter will end up going. Good luck -- I am rooting for you! I think you should do it!
Posted 29 June 2009 - 05:45 PM
I got lots of good feedback that made me feel better about the decision.
The whole thing makes the planning really frustrating. Do what you can to accomidate but dont beat your self up if it doesn't work for all. Because it wont.
People have the crazy first impressions about Mexico and I dont know why. It is a beautiful contry with great culture. But not everyone is as open minded as us.
Good luck and stick to your guns like I have.
Hope this helps.
Posted 30 June 2009 - 03:57 PM
Posted 01 July 2009 - 03:06 PM
Now, on to finding a resort (ugh).
Posted 01 July 2009 - 03:58 PM
Posted 01 July 2009 - 04:11 PM
I'm not saying that you should never compromise but at the end of the day as long as both and your FI are happy everyone else can learn to deal with it.
0 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users