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Are you paying for your bridesmaids dresses?

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#31 kpuckrin

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    Posted 29 June 2009 - 06:53 AM

    I'm only having one BM (my sister) and she is paying for her own dress, but I'll be getting her jewlery, shoes, and other accessories to go with it.

    #32 BillysBride

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      Posted 29 June 2009 - 08:30 AM

      Another option is to pay the down payment for the dress order, if you are going with a traditional bridesmaids dress from a shop. That way, the order goes into processing without inconvenience or additional nudging from you. You can pay as little down (well, the minimum to get it ordered) or as much as you like to get the ball rolling. I personally think this is a GREAT gesture and one more affordable to many average and tight budget brides.

      Something else I wanted to add; I think it is really unnecessarily rude NOT to take an individual bridesmaids financial circumstances into account when selecting a dress. Luckily, I've only been asked to be in one wedding where the bride lost her mind and was trying to make us were a dress that was SEVERAL hundred dollars. For my circle, that's excessive. We all either have kids, are single gals on average incomes, paycheck to paycheck couples, etc. If all of your friends got it like that, great. lol But I think that for a most gals, this is a gesture of friendship and support....they shouldn't be expected to over extend themselves on a dress they most likely won't wear again, regardless of what we might think when we pick it. Alot of the J Crew and Victoria's Secret dresses are a great option too! Unfortunately, depending on the dress size range of your party and how formal your wedding is, those won't work for every situation.

      http://i17.photobuck....inecollage.jpgThe Fab Four (my quads) Meryn, Kellen, Nico & Layla
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      #33 CrystalM

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        Posted 29 June 2009 - 08:57 AM

        I'm paying for my bm's dresses - Black
        Women's & Men's Clothes: Plus Size, Maternity, Baby & Kid's Clothing | Old Navy
        and I bought their shoes - flip flops from the $1 Old Navy sale.

        So for all 3 it was less than $55 including tax.

        They all have simple diamond necklaces so I told them to wear that as their necklace, and all 3 have diamond studs that they're wearing. If they want hair and make up done it's on them, I'm doing my own. Their gift from me is either 1 night in the hotel or the palm tree necklace from Tiffany. Their choice.
        I have a fabulous photographer I can share in the United States Virgin Islands in late April/early MayP.M. if interested!http://img.weddingco....pvbh7hxc5u.png

        #34 itsfinallyhere

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          Posted 29 June 2009 - 09:15 AM

          I too was not going to buy the dresses for them. But after further consideration I changed my mind. I only have one BM and of course my MOH, both are related. I wanted to give them something really nice as far as accessories goes. and I was going to pay for them to have their hair and make-up done. But now I think I will buy them their dresses (my choice of color, their choice of dress, I get final approval) That way they will be happy and comfortable the day of, I can imposes my wants without guilt, because I am paying for the dress, and I will also buy them their jewelry (surprise gift) and also their hair the day of. If there is money left over I will also do their make-up.

          I changed my mind after reading all these posts and talking to few people who have been in DW wedding parties. Although none would have refused in hindsight, they were still a little put out by how much money they were required to spend. They of course included the total cost of everything before and after (showers' stag & does, bachorette parties, clothes, and trip, plus gifts). I thought to help out I would pay for what I wanted (ie. get to pick dresses, colors, hair, accessories). Doing this has eased my conscious by asking them to pay for the trip and take time off work (in one case without pay). I also want to show them how much it means to me that they are willing to go to such lengths to be with me on this day! When others I thought would be coming for sure, have been a great disappointment.

          #35 courtney_b00

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            Posted 29 June 2009 - 09:34 AM

            I don't think that there is anything wrong with not paying for the dresses. Most people I know do the same thing--and the bridesmaids pay for the dresses. That's the way I am doing it b/c with all the other costs of the wedding, I just can't afford it and I'm only having 2-3 bm's. I am just going to try and pick out an affordable dress for the girls that they may be able to wear elsewhere.

            #36 *Nadine*

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              Posted 29 June 2009 - 10:26 AM

              Originally Posted by Shinbinea

              I think if you can do its great and if you can't afford to do it then you just need to be respectful of all of the costs for a destination wedding and make sure everyone can still afford it.
              I completely agree with this

              #37 sunsetbride1

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                Posted 29 June 2009 - 11:23 AM

                We simply could not afford to pay for the BM dresses for our BM's. That being said, I let them almost 100% decide on the dresses that they were going to wear and checked with each of them individually to ensure that they could afford it. FI and I also had also discussed that if any member of our BP could not afford to buy their wedding attire that we would front them the $$ if needed. The BM's actually decided on one dress that was more expensive than I felt comfortable having them buy (and it was too formal) - so, I ended up changing it to the VS convertible dresses which they all love; got at a great price with online coupons and all agreed that they would actually wear again so it was a good investment for them.

                I think that it's an individual choice based on your budgets, relationships with your BP, etc... We also chose our resort based on the budgets of our BP and involved them and our parents in the decision making process to ensure that everyone could afford it before we booked.

                #38 Gr8ful

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                  Posted 29 June 2009 - 07:25 PM

                  I didn't, but I am planning to do something nice while we are down there, like maybe a spa treatment/massage, and something else. I'm having a hard time thinking about the something else part though b/c I want to get them something that they like, which means it may not all be the same.

                  #39 EDSROSA

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                    Posted 29 June 2009 - 07:43 PM

                    I am not paying for my 3 girls dresses. We just cant afford it. The only thing i am requesting is that the three of them decide on either pink or orange and it can be any style they want. I have been in 2 weddings and after all was said and done I spent $1200 (wedding attire, gift, bach & bridal parties) on each one and never used the dress or shoes again. 2 of me girls already found dresses they like for $30 and the 3 will be checking it out tomorrow. I also told everyone no bach party and no bridal shower they are spending enough on this wedding and with the economy the way it is I did not want to put people through that.

                    #40 midnight24

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                      Posted 29 June 2009 - 07:55 PM

                      well originally i did not want to have bridesmaids, but my FI asked 4 of his friends to stand up for him before he even proposed to me. so i asked 4 friends as well. we have offered to pay for all of the bridal party wedding day clothes as a gift to them for being part of our day. i also told the girls to pick out a kneelength black dress that would suit their body type and that they think they would like to wear again. out of the 8 people only 1 person has said they want to pay for their own outfit. i think it's because that is the 1 friend who i have been in her wedding and i had to pay for my own outfit then. i told her if she can come on the trip then it's one less thing she has to pay for that day. in the long run it is all adding up but we also budgeted for the clothing costs too.

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