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Destination just the 2 of us, can we have shower/reception afterwards?

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#1 emaya77

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    Posted 25 June 2009 - 04:05 PM

    My fianc© and I would like to take a destination wedding adventure, just the 2 of us. Originally we invited EVERYONE and gave a 2 years advance notice, but when it came down to deposits, our parents bailed (they thought most guests didn't have the $ and felt "trapped" into going and didn't feel it was fair for us to have the destination wedding so they told us they would not be going). We then didn't want to have the destination wedding with people but not our own parents. Now we would like to just go away ourselves because we do not want a big wedding (because of the size and price)...a destination was a way to solve these issues.

    I have been in a million weddings (always a bridesmaid never a bride - until now)...if we do go away just the 2 of us, can we still have a shower and reception afterwards? If so, is 6-8 months to late to hold these events? Can we make an announcement saying that we do not have the finances to have a wedding at the moment, but we would love to be married asap, so we are going away but would love to celebrate our marriage with friends and family once we get back and are financially able to hold a party? Or is bringing up finances not appropriate either? i just figure that this way guests know our "deal".

    And btw...I keep getting asked why we can't just have a "small" wedding...
    The problem is we can't have a small ceremony and reception for a few reasons...both my fiance and I grew up around here each went to a few colleges, we have kept in contact with so many friends from gradeschool - hs - college, he has a huge family, I have been in so many weddings that I can't not invite those friends. On top of that, we already invited EVERYONE - over 200 people to the destination wedding...we can't then say to some of those people "your not invited anymore" but then invite others. We just have so many people that are close to us.

    Ahh...I am so confused and frustrated at this point. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

    #2 roo66

    • Sr. Member
    • 1,001 posts

      Posted 25 June 2009 - 05:16 PM

      I say go and do the elopement,but plan your do for just a couple of months max following your return.You can keep this really simple it dosent have to cost a fortunex

      #3 jamaicabride10

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      • 55 posts

        Posted 25 June 2009 - 09:34 PM

        Try this link: Invitation Wording Samples by InvitationConsultants.com - Eloped for invitation wording when you get back to invite your guests to the reception. I wouldn't do it more than 3 months after. We are going away with a few family/friends & holding a reception at home after for people who couldn't travel, buffet finger food evening party only. Works out cheaper than full reception & still get to see everyone. I wouldn't do the shower before you go tho as none of the potential attendees will be going to the wedding. you could have a lunch or something with your best friends just before you go-informally?
        Isn't it amazing to have found someone who gets you 100%

        #4 *Nadine*

        • Sr. Member
        • 5,466 posts

          Posted 26 June 2009 - 04:52 PM

          elope and plan a reception!! FOR SURE thats what i would do if i were you two !!

          #5 eloping789

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          • 290 posts

            Posted 26 June 2009 - 08:35 PM

            There are quite a few of us doing this actually. We're having our AHR a couple of weeks after we get back from the wedding/honeymoon, but I know several brides are waiting much longer. I just wanted to get it all done! HA! My girlfriends offered to throw me a shower, but I actually didn't want one so they focused their energy on the bachelorette party (heaven help me!). Check out the AHR section for lots of good info on those (everything from backyard BBQ's to full scale traditional affairs), and here's a link to a thread for all of us who are eloping: http://bestdestinati...om/forum/t38713

            And here is the verbiage I used for our AHR invite:

            Your Name
            His Name

            are pleased to announce we will be
            married in a private ceremony
            Wednesday, the eighth of July 2009
            in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic

            We invite you to join us for a
            wedding celebration when we return
            as husband and wife.

            Saturday, August 1, 2009
            Seven o’clock in the evening

            RSVP info ...

            Everyone is actually really excited about the reception - that's the part most of the guests come for anyway!!

            Good luck with your wedding and your post-wedding events!!

            #6 A2Bride

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              Posted 26 June 2009 - 08:42 PM

              Elope and have your honeymoon! :-) I would not bring up finances though, I would simply put it that you are having a private ceremony but once you return there will be a party to celebrate. We are having a few friends and family members join us for the wedding, but the majority of our family (including my father) and friends are unable to attend. We are going to have a luau in the backyard a month or so after we get back. I would say the shower is out, for the same reason Mowife said...your bridesmaids usually throw it before your wedding. Although one of your friends could still offer...

              #7 emaya77

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              • 92 posts

                Posted 27 June 2009 - 01:54 AM

                Thanks everyone SOOO much!!! Such helpful advice!!! I will look into everything that you all wrote and keep you posted!!!!

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