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Military Brides/Wives - POST HERE!

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#1 foxytv

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    Posted 18 June 2009 - 09:05 PM

    This is the place to talk about what it's like to be married/engaged to a military man ... how you cope, etc...

    I'll start:

    My DH is in the Army Reserves. Has been for 17 years and is currently a Major preparing for Lt. Colonel.

    He deployed to Iraq a week after we got engaged and was gone for 14-months. He got back in August 2007 and we were married in April 2008.

    Now, he is gone for live-fire training, etc for 3 weeks and then for another 3-weeks for Lt. Col. prep classes.

    His not being here for almost 2 months has me remembering when he was deployed last time and not looking forward to April 2010 when we begins pre-deployment for another 14-month tour.

    I am very independent and usually enjoy time on my own ... and I am used to it, b/c DH's regular FT job also requires him to travel, so he is usually gone 1-2 nights a week regardless. I guess I am just not enjoying being alone so much anymore.

    I know there are at least a few other military brides/wives out there. How are things for you

    #2 kpuckrin

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      Posted 18 June 2009 - 09:20 PM


      So nice to find other military brides. :)

      My Fianc© is a helicopter pilot in the Canadian Air Force. For the first two years that we were dating he was still in training, and we were living in different provinces and timezones. We only saw eachother once every 6 weeks or so for 2 days at a time.

      Now that he's been posted to Halifax, we'll be staying here together for a few years. Although he will be required to join the Navy Ships periodically when they go out to sea.

      I don't enjoy when he goes away either but I've had 2 years to get used to being alone I suppose you could say. I'm just taking one day at a time and enjoying each moment that I get to share with him.

      #3 foxytv

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        Posted 18 June 2009 - 09:29 PM

        Great to see ya on here, kpuckrin!

        I know what you mean about getting used to them being away. I am used to it (and my Dad was always out of town for work as well, so I even grew up being used to it).

        I can't imagine being so far away from him and in different time zones for so long. I've done the long-distance dating thing before ... but it never lasted for me ... so I know that is tough. How great that you guys are in the same place now, though.

        Is he helping you much with the wedding plans? My DH was in Iraq while I planned ... so I would email him options as we decided on our resort and such ... but other than that, I pretty much handled it on my own unless I was having a tough time making a decision. And of course, for the GM outfits, I sent him pics of lots of options and let him pick! He was basically happy to not have to be involved, lol, but was smitten with all the DIY planning I got from BDW!

        #4 kpuckrin

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          Posted 19 June 2009 - 06:23 AM

          My Fianc© has been letting me take the lead in terms of planning. If he had his way, we'd be going to city hall and getting married there. A small destination wedding/honeymoon combination was a compromise. :)

          I've been doing the bulk of the planning and looping him in with my thoughts/ideas as we go to get his input. I've also tasked him with booking our flights and hotel the night before our cruise so he's responsible for that (and applying for our marriage licence). :) He's very willing to help which is good but he also realizes how excited I am to be planning everything so he's happy to let me take the lead. I've gotten a lot of DIY ideas from this forum too, and my Fianc© has also been quite impressed by how much I've been making on my own.

          The planning process has been quite smooth for us to be honest. Selecting the cruise we wanted to get married on was the most challenging part. We're both looking forward to our wedding in January. I'm not quite sure what I'll do with my time when it's all over!

          Thanks again for starting this thread! It's nice to have someone you can relate to.

          #5 ~Debra~

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            Posted 19 June 2009 - 10:13 AM

            Hey guys. I'm also going to be a military wife. My FI has been in the military since 2004 when we became a couple and we've been lonh distance the enntire time with him being in Texas and me in Ohio but we are both from Ohio. He just got a job at the base in Jacksonville, AR so that's where we will be moving to as soon as we get back from the wedding. Its going to be very interesting living together and just getting used to being back together after 5 years but I can't wait.

            #6 JaimeandBrandon

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              Posted 19 June 2009 - 02:25 PM

              Thanks for starting this Tami!!

              My DH and I actually met before he joined the army... we were both in junior college and on the track team. Very young, I was 18 or 19 years old and had just gotten out of my first relationship ever! Then I started dating Brandon and after two weeks he told me he loved me... which freaked me out! So we only dated for a few months back then (2002).

              We've dated off and on since then... way more off then on... like 6 months on and 6 years off. I always told him I could never date anyone in the army because it would be too hard. He joined the army in 2005. He tells me now that he never would have joined the army if I was with him. Which makes me feel horrible!

              Finally last year we spent a lot of time together and I was finally ready to get serious. He had joked around about getting married but I knew he was serious. I had always thought I didn't ever want to get married... I was having too much fun traveling the world with my friends and I was determined to be a vagabond. But he stopped me in my tracks and I realized that I only wanted to be with him.

              I told him if he wanted it to work this time he had to make things official... like I had to know that we were boyfriend and girlfriend. So he asked me to be his girlfriend (July 4, 200.

              Then I left on a trip to Nicaragua that I had been looking forward to for a long time... I had a horrible time because I missed Brandon so much and I ended up coming back early and changing my flight to visit him in Texas. When we got to his house from the airport he had flower pedals all over his room and candles and he asked me to marry him... and I said "That doesn't count you have to have a ring!". So the next day while he was at work I went to the mall and found a ring! I put all the info on Brandon's bed and when he got home he went in his room and came out and said "Lets go". I was like "where are we going?" and he wouldn't say. But he ended up taking me straight to the mall to get the ring. When we went home I went into the bathroom and when I came out I walked to his room and he had set it up exactly how it was the day before with the roses, rose pedals and candles... and he was down on one knee with the ring. That was on August 4, 2008.

              I got to spend a few more days with him and then I had to go back home. We talked about wedding plans and we both just wanted to elope! So he flew down... technically went AWOL but no one knew since he was off at some school and we got married at the court house. September 4, 2008.

              So everything went pretty fast! I moved out to El Paso, Texas in October to be with him before he deployed. We lived in this tiny studio like 400 sq ft. We both loved it. I had never lived with a boyfriend before but it was the best time ever. And right when I was getting used to things and loving life. BAM!!! They take him away from me... ok I guess it wasn't that drastic. I knew it was coming. But I still miss him so much!!

              So now I'm back in California living with Brandon's brother waiting for R&R!! Working on my thesis. And wondering what happened to the independent woman in me...

              Sorry that was so long!


              #7 hanna

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                Posted 19 June 2009 - 02:44 PM

                Hi ladies, great thread.

                My husband and I just got married June 5, 2009 in the Riviera Maya. We met when he was the CO in the Coast Guard in Santa Barbara, CA. Fell in love and moved with him to Gainesville, FL 1 year later. It was hard to leave my family, job, friends.. all behind, but it was worth it! He attended grad school for 1.5 years and now we live in Washington, DC. I think the hardest part for me is reestablishing myself professionally. In Santa Barbara, I loved my job and worked as a groups coordinator and manager of a Resort & Spa, and since then just doing Exec Asst. But, I want to get my MBA and do it online once the GI bill is able to be transferred to me. Then I would like to eventually be a HR Director. DC has been nice because there are so many other Coastie people that DH knows so it has been an instant social circle. Florida was more difficult and took more time to get used to the area and find friends. I love traveling and moving around though, and luckily my husband hasn't been deployed while we have been together (although he was over in the middle east before we met).

                I did most of the projects and planning for the wedding, which I enjoy. Did anyone else find it a little lonely (besides having the forum of course)? I think with moving so much it is hard to establish really close friendships, and so I found myself doing everything really by myself, so it got a little lonely. It would have been nice to have my family and best girlfriends around to help. But, thanks to the forum for so many great ideas and support.

                #8 ~Melissa~


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                Posted 19 June 2009 - 02:53 PM

                I too am a military wife. It's tough moving every three - five years but I'm trying to look at it as positively as one can. We can make the most of it for sure! He's in the Air Force and although my hubby has never been deployed I know one day he will have to go. I am so thankful for every day I get to spend with him at home!

                Great thread Tami!

                #9 Jenamie

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                  Posted 19 June 2009 - 11:52 PM

                  Awesome thread

                  Me and my FI met in high school after high school we both went our different ways, when I was in Iraq he found me on Facebook and we started emailing back and forth... I found out he also had joined the military... on blind faith I took leave to go see him when I got home from Iraq and we have been together every since... we decided to get married when he was deployed last year.
                  So I made the decision that I'm getting out of the military though he is a lifer hehe

                  So on top of my wedding in August I'm also out prossesing the military (and I'm almost sure thats a longer check list haha)

                  I would not have it any other way :P

                  I love my military family :)

                  #10 JaimeandBrandon

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                    Posted 24 June 2009 - 01:54 AM

                    How's everyone?! My DH just got a webcam so i got to actually see him the other day! I definitely recommend it!


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