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STILL CONFUSED about receiving GIFTS ...Advice?


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#1 suntansam

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    Posted 15 June 2009 - 02:05 PM

    So im still a little confused about whether or not DWs end up with gifts really....
    Im assuming some people dont give gifts that are flying all the way down for the wedding.

    A guest recently asked me if people were still to get us gifts if they are coming down for the wedding. I didnt really know what to say and I left it up to them. Is that what I should be saying and leaving it to their discretion?

    And on invitations are you supposed to put a little sentence somewhere stating not to bring big boxes down to the wedding ? because yes it seems like common sense but then again it is possible that people would bring items down and i dont think im going to have any room to pack stuff ! so should i print that somewhere?


    thanks

    #2 NaM

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      Posted 15 June 2009 - 02:15 PM

      We did a poem and gave guests some options. We told them their "presence was presnt enough" but if they wanted to give still we asked for a donation in our name to some charities that we registered with or they could just make a donation to our house fund at the bank and "help us build our future."
      We didn't want gifts because we move/travel a lot but I was scared to ask for money as I didn't want to offend anyone or seem tacky. I think this is a trend now though because the bank had some poems and cards other brides had use to just ask for money.
      i think if you do a traditional registry people can just mail the gift to you so they don't have to haul it to the wedding and you don't have to haul all the gifts home. I think people who can't make it to the wedding would want to get you something so it's probably a good idea to be registered somewhere or for something.
      Hope that helps some.

      #3 *Nadine*

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        Posted 15 June 2009 - 02:25 PM

        I know this topic comes up alot and I think alot of people have different opinions. I think a gift is a gift and people who are going to give one will give one regardless if they are told not to. I personally would never not give a gift just b/c I travelled for a wedding. Its our one chance to give a gift to help kick start someone in our lives new life together and we give a gift b/c we WANT to , not because we are supposed to. Most weddings I go to are mini destination weddings b/c we live apart from all our friends and family. We are not stating anywhere not to bring gifts-cause then it kinda insinuates that we were expecting people to bring us gifts- and when people ask when my shower is I say that we aren't having one. If we get gifts we will be happy and touched, and if we don't thats great too.

        #4 Bing & Win Win

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          Posted 15 June 2009 - 02:27 PM

          I wasn't going to put anything on our invitations, but my soon to be mother-in-law insisted our guests should know not to bring gifts. So, on the last page of my passport invites i put - "Your presence is the only present we hope for".

          #5 BillysBride

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            Posted 15 June 2009 - 02:59 PM

            Oooo, touchy subject.

            Just my personal opinion/decision. If/when people ask us if they should give us gifts, I'm telling anyone who is attending to please save their money. Their attendance is their gift to us, literally.

            Anyone not attending who wants to give a token of their good wishes, then that is entirely appropriate and we sure won't turn it away. But I personally don't feel right telling people who are already spending a nice chunk of change just getting there to buy us anything. If they do it, thats on them. But if they ask, no.
            Savannah

            http://i17.photobuck....inecollage.jpgThe Fab Four (my quads) Meryn, Kellen, Nico & Layla
            http://global.thekno...rs/tt265ad.aspxhttp://www.mywedding...nnah/index.html20 STD's w. pre-lim RSVP sent 6/15/09: 7 "Yes" so far/10 guests total!

            #6 Betsy

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              Posted 15 June 2009 - 03:08 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by BillysBride
              Oooo, touchy subject.

              Just my personal opinion/decision. If/when people ask us if they should give us gifts, I'm telling anyone who is attending to please save their money. Their attendance is their gift to us, literally.

              Anyone not attending who wants to give a token of their good wishes, then that is entirely appropriate and we sure won't turn it away. But I personally don't feel right telling people who are already spending a nice chunk of change just getting there to buy us anything. If they do it, thats on them. But if they ask, no.
              Exactly what we did. We threw in the whole "your presence is present enough" on the invite/STD also.

              #7 JayBee

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                Posted 15 June 2009 - 04:24 PM

                We registered, but we don't expect people who are traveling to Hawaii to get us wedding gifts as well. However, I didn't put anything on the invites regarding gifts, I just told my mom & my fmil to spread the word. But then again, we only have family members attending, so that makes it easy...

                #8 BBtoB

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                  Posted 15 June 2009 - 04:37 PM

                  We don't expect our friends to get us anything. We did register just in case, but more for fun. I always wanted to register at Crate and Barrell..I love that store and have spent 1000's of dollars there but not on me, my friends' weddings. So that was fun in itself. Yay!

                  We did not inlclude anything on our Boarding pass invites about gifts nor did we for our AHR. We just left it off and are hoping everyone has enough sense to not trek anything with them. One of my friends asked what she should get us...(who is in the wedding) and I told her no gifts please. She insisted. And I said your presence is gift enough and she insisted...so I said we will have to haul it home. :) Hopefully she got the hint. :)

                  My BMs are throwing me a shower this Saturday and included the Registries on there...I was ok with that. :)
                  I am so excited! They keep sending me emails and asking me all sorts of funny questions. Like send some pics of FI, his email address. And the last one was what size undies I wear. Hehe! So excited! Sorry off track and now I think I
                  hehe! Sorry, Just excited for the weekend!

                  #9 *Meagan*

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                    Posted 15 June 2009 - 05:09 PM

                    We are having an almost married reception/jack and jill party this August back home in ConnecticutT(where I was born and raised) for everyone who can not come and everyone who can come, then we are getting married in January in turks and caicos, and then next feb/march we will be having a reception in Utah for all of those who cant make it to Turks from Utah.

                    We didnt put anything on our STD or invties for turks. If people want to give us something they will do so at the receptions! We are also registered. We dont expect anything from anyone, especially flying to turks for us!!

                    #10 suntansam

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                      Posted 16 June 2009 - 12:08 PM

                      ok good advice from everyone thanks a million. Makes me feel a bit better on how im gonna handle this.

                      Hopefully we get just a few things off our registry :P


                      BB- Have a great shower this weekend! Im sure itll be a blast!




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