| Originally Posted by LC_Rachel |
Thankfully no Morgan. But then again, I'm not exactly close with a ton of girls so I don't think I will have to be in any more weddings, except for my sisters.
Honestly, I think I'm just jaded by the whole wedding thing because I have a huge family and every single one I have been to they expect me to work. I have only been to a few weddings were I could just be a guest and not do a damn thing. It's an entirely different experience to say the least.
I get what you are saying though Savannah. I just think sometimes bridal parties get to bare more work than they should because of "traditional" thoughts of what's expected. I guess I really meant to say that if you want to help out with someone's wedding and put a lot of time and money into it because you WANT to then by all means do. I just don't think it should be expected- even if you are bridal party. Not everyone has a lot of time and a lot of money to contribute. So if you are in the latter, you get stuck in a hard place. Do you decline or do you look like the BM that all the girls on the forum complain about KWIM?
I agree. I'm jaded by the whole wedding thing, too. I learned pretty early to say no to things that I didn't want to do as a BM. Parties in vegas, excess travel, matching shoes, overpriced dresses...
Before i'd say no, I'd just start to resent my friend. Often the other girls didn't want to do it either, but didn't want to be the bad guy.
Still, I do a certain amount of just sucking it up & being a good bridesmaid. I am very supportive of my friends. I just don't like feeling used or mistreated so I don't just do anything I'm told.
brides are often not bridezillas, they just have no clue sometimes. i think they get excited and start coming up with ideas before facing the reality of things. and then money starts to run out & they get stressed and put some burden on their bridesmaids.
On the list of things on the vent, probably just the lack of thank you cards & madatory clean up duty would have pissed me off. I've been on clean up duty before. While wearing my BM dress. And the groomsmen just watched. An man even handed us trash to throw away. We were all furious, but I know my friend never intended for things to be like that. She asked a couple of people to clean up, not realizing it was a bigger job than just those few people could do.
| Originally Posted by BillysBride |
LOL..I DEFINITELY feel you on that. You don't want to be known as the difficult or selfish one by comparison.
I've never had the problem of the financial expectations beyond paying for my dress, so in all honesty, I can't comment on that. Bridal showers I've been involved in, we all chipped in with supplies/food/venue and they were very simple, but nice, affairs. It's called "wedding party" for a reason; even as MOH, I think it's encumbant upon me to ASK for help instead of taking it all on myself. Whomever chooses not to, oh well-at least I asked. MOH to me is just the organizer, not the bank. To be honest, I think if one of my friends told me some crap about wanting a weekend in Vegas, the first thing out of my mouth would be "Great-so when does everyone need to have their money in?" lol
You gotta draw a line where you are comfortable and no one should expect you to go beyond that as long as you make your position clear from the gate.
you are so wise