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Jr bridesmaid instead of flower girl?

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9 replies to this topic

#1 DCcook

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  • 14 posts

    Posted 03 June 2009 - 12:13 AM

    Hi girls!

    I was wondering about your thoughts on this one.

    Our wedding party is very untraditional to begin with - on my side it will be my sister, my BFF, and brother with no "MOH." On my FI's side, it will be two buddies, and a woman friend (no best man).

    My niece is 11, and at first I had been thinking that I'd ask her to be our flower girl but I'm now thinking that she's probably outgrown that role. So, I was thinking about a jr bridesmaid instead but that would mean I would have an additional person on my side and no flower girl. I think we're asking my nephew (her brother) to be our ring bearer, so that may help even things out. We don't have other young children attending our wedding so I think this may be all we have.

    Is this ok? or too lopsided on my end? Would not having a flower girl but a ring bearer be strange?

    Thoughts? Thanks for your advice!

    #2 Jamaica0619

    • Jr. Member
    • 475 posts

      Posted 03 June 2009 - 12:18 AM

      I know this will not help - but it is your wedding. I wouldn't worry about it. We originally asked three friends each to stand up with us. In my case my MOH and one of my bridesmaids is coming and in his case it is only his BM. We are also having his neice be a jr bridesmaid and his nephew as a ring bearer. So, we aren't exactly balanced, but I'm not worrying about it. At the ceremony we are only going to have the MOH and BM stand with us.
      Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend. ~ Albert Camas

      #3 frazali

      • Jr. Member
      • 245 posts

        Posted 03 June 2009 - 07:01 PM

        Nothing wrong with having the jr. bridesmaid. I have definitely seen jr. bm and no flower girl before (including in my first wedding!). I think it's better to have who you want in the wedding and not ask someone to be in the wedding just to have even numbers. No one's going to notice!

        #4 Ginalyn

        • Sr. Member
        • 2,754 posts

          Posted 03 June 2009 - 09:57 PM

          Have you told your niece that you want her to be a part of your wedding party? If so, have you considered asking your niece what she wants to be? The only reason I ask is because FI's niece is in our wedding party. She is 9 years old. I too thought she was too old for a flower girl so I was going to suggest she be a Jr BM. When we asked her to be a part of the wedding, her eyes instantly lit up and she said "Yay I get to be a flower girl!!!!". So there it was, we made her flower girl instead of Jr BM, LOL

          #5 Jacilynda

          • Sr. Member
          • 2,777 posts

            Posted 03 June 2009 - 11:03 PM

            We are having 3 BM and 3 GM a flower girl (our daughter) and a Junior GM who's 11. We wanted someone to walk down w/ our daughter, she's only a year old so we thought she might need some guidance, we don't have any young boys who can walk so Joe's cousin is being our junior gm/ring bearer

            #6 DCcook

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            • 14 posts

              Posted 03 June 2009 - 11:11 PM

              Thanks for the feedback, ladies! I was thinking that I probably shouldn't sweat it since our wedding party is already not very traditional. GinalynL, I have not asked my niece but it's a great idea! LOL

              My sister (her mom) thought she might be too old to be a flower girl, but I probably should just ask her and I'm happy either way - whatever she wants to be!

              #7 michelle6114

              • Jr. Member
              • 209 posts

                Posted 04 June 2009 - 10:28 PM

                I always envisioned my "little girl" being my flower girl when I got married.
                Well, my little girl grew into an 11yr old tween who I decided to make my jr bridesmaid. She will wear the same dress as my sister, just in her size. I did try and stuff her into a flower girl dress but it just didn't seem cutesy anymore. It is hard to stick with a traditional wedding party when you have to count on them to travel so far.

                #8 FoxyBride

                • Member
                • 609 posts

                  Posted 04 June 2009 - 10:39 PM

                  I thought it mattered if the sides were equal... but then my FI insisted that he have 10 people, yes 10, on his side. He is in a fraternity and if we weren't getting married in Vegas, there would probably be 30 people on his side. I have 3 sisters, 1 best friend as bridesmaids, and my 13 year old niece as junior BM. I absolutely refuse to add random folks just to even it out. My FI's 7 year old daughter is the flower girl and we aren't having a ring bearer. That makes everything super lopsided, but oh well.

                  So I say, do what you think is best. I think you could have her be a junior BM and it'll work out fine. It won't be nearly as lopsided as mine. :)

                  #9 jennie

                  • Jr. Member
                  • 200 posts

                    Posted 10 June 2009 - 08:34 AM

                    I'm in the same situation as Michelle. My "little girl" is 8 1/2 and I have to agree that as much as I wanted to put her into a typical flower girl dress... it just looked silly for her age. I found a very nice dress for her to wear that's age appropriate for her. But, she too thinks of herself as being the flower girl. I don't think that they know exactly what a junior brides maid is. lol So be it: she's our flower girl.
                    We are a bit untraditional also: his father & fiance, my best friend, my father, and my daughter/possibly his daughter(if the mother stops being a b*tch!).
                    Just remember that it's YOUR day. Just try to relax! Everything will come together. In the end, does it really matter who is what and how they walk down to be seated and view the ceremony? Just try to stay focused and concentrate on you and your to-be-husband.
                    Good Luck and Congrats.

                    #10 Ana


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                    • Wedding Date:April 1, 2009
                    • Wedding Location:Dreams Cabo
                    • LocationToronto

                    Posted 10 June 2009 - 09:03 AM

                    Michael's cousin was 14 when we got engaged and 16 for our wedding. We didn't have her as a flower girl either. We asked her to be a JR. BM, but she was so tall and mature for her age that she really looked more like a regular BM. It was great doing it that way and she loved being involved I think your idea is great!

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