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#1 amberlynne87

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    Posted 02 June 2009 - 05:39 PM

    So yesterday I just found out that my best friend since forever and her boyfriend which is my fiance's best friend as well will no longer be attending our wedding in Jamaica. I am sooo angry!!!! She was going to give me the deposit for their room and she kept pushing it off. She was finally going to give it to me last week and all of a sudden they wanted to wait longer. No reasons given at all. Well except that they keep mentioning buying land or a house so they can live together which I think they are rushing into because he still lives at home and she's not finished college. They have only been together for like six months. I've been with my fiance for 6 years!!! I understand you want a life together and all but come on a house?? land How does that stop you from being a part of the most important event in my life? Oh and they were going to stay five nights, then it went down to four, then it went down to three?? Reason?? Well she didn't want to miss school and if she stays four nights she won't feel like going to school the day after they get home. LAME EXCUSE!! (I completely understand if you CAN'T miss school because it's not allowed, but it's only cuz she doesn't WANT to and she already had permission to miss it!! She's also saying well we would have to throw you parties and get you a big gift and we would be spending way tooo much. She has no bills to pay!!! How does she not have money?? and he has a good job he's practically rich!!! Here's the best part: She is one of my bridesmaids and he is one of my fiance's groomsmen. We already picked out her bridesmaid dress and she tried it on back in March. We ordered the dress. I paid for half of all the dresses including mine. We are picking them up on FRIDAYYY!!!!! Now I am left with a bridesmaids dress and no one to fill her shoes!! She is supposed to be my best friend. I don't understand why they aren't going. All they keep saying is we can't afford it. They won't even sit down to talk about it. The sad part is they can afford to go. They knew how it expensive it was when I was just looking around and before we made the decision on where we were getting married. They both said we will go no matter what and we can definitely afford it. AND each of them have enough money where they could pay for both of them to go. I even offered to pay for half of their room! I keep getting the cold shoulder every time I try to have a conversation about why they aren't going. The best part is I didn't even get to hear this over the phone or face to face. She sent me a text message!!! And all she could say was "sorry" exactly like that in a text message. And then this morning she calls me because she is in a bad mood because of school. She acted like nothing happened!! What am I supposed to think? This is supposed to be my best friend? Seriously!!!

    #2 NaM

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    • 2,256 posts

      Posted 02 June 2009 - 06:24 PM

      Man, that's really really shitty. I'm really sorry that that is happening to you. She should at least have the decency to sit down and talk to you about especially since you already got the BM dress. The financial reason seems like a copout. Hopefully she gets her karma when her wedding comes around.
      Hope it gets resolved.

      #3 Sensatori Bride

      Sensatori Bride
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      • 229 posts

        Posted 02 June 2009 - 06:37 PM

        Hey I had a few things like this happen to me along the way. I can definitely say that planning a destination wedding has opened my eyes and showed people's true colors. I know it hurts but all you can do is keep it moving. Maybe let her know how you feel so that you won't keep all these feelings inside. Your day will still be perfect no matter what!
        Mesita and Durante
        June 18, 2009
        Excellence Playa Mujeres

        My wedding review:http://bestdestinati....032#post857892My wedding pro slideshow:http://www.keithcephus.com/mesitahttp://www.ezticker.......!/ticker.png

        #4 ~Stephanie~

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          Posted 02 June 2009 - 06:47 PM

          I'm sorry this really sucks! I agree that you should talk to her and tell her how you feel, if you are this upset and hurt then it can't do any harm to talk to her, it won't make it any worse. Maybe there is some other reason and they are too ashamed to tell you? Regardless of the reason, I would be just as upset. Vent away. Unfortunately with a DW you do find out a lot about the people in your lives.

          Our wedding websitewww.mywedding.com/stephanieandmichaelbailey

          #5 jetsbride

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            Posted 02 June 2009 - 07:12 PM

            So sorry to hear this!!
            I know what you are going through though, our best man just did the same thing to us, it is a tough spot to be in especially because we would do anything for him just like you would probably do anything for your best friend. All I can say is they are going to be the ones who miss out on your special day and one day they will regret the decisin they made.

            #6 jk1101

            • Sr. Member
            • 2,582 posts

              Posted 02 June 2009 - 07:12 PM

              Wow...that's really awful and I'm sorry that you're going through this.

              Take a step back and just distance yourself for a bit. You said she called you this morning? Don't talk to her. She just f--d you over big time and does not deserve your friendship right now. Your FI should do the same thing with his friend/her boyfriend. It doesn't even sound like they apologized to you very much, and telling you by text message is completely rude and horrible. Take some time and think about whether this is the kind of person, childhood friend or not, that you WANT in your wedding, and to be your friend.

              I am 100% with Natalia with karma....this will come back to her.

              #7 Yari

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              • 10,928 posts

                Posted 02 June 2009 - 08:05 PM

                This is a very shitty situation. I am so sorry it is happening to you. I can't imagine how sad and disappointed you are.

                She is definitely acting very self absorbed. Also, to be frank sounds like she doesn't want to go to your wedding for whatever reason. I would call or text her and say that you are sad she isn't going, but she will still owe you the cost for the dress since you already paid for half of it. I wouldn't except the money back, but she should know that you are putting her accountable for her actions.

                Good luck!

                #8 itsfinallyhere

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                • 573 posts

                  Posted 02 June 2009 - 08:09 PM

                  WOW, that is tough. What a raw deal. I understand completely. They are horrible but it is with things like this that you really find out who is true and who is not. She sounds morelike afriend of convience than a true blue friend. Why would they agree have you goto all the trouble of ordering the dress and then back out. I would ask her to pay for that dress. She should not have ordered it if she had doubts about going. Also try calling the dress shop you may not have to take it, maybe. There is always that chance, you could try. But it is not right that you have to be saddled with this. Some people you never really know and it is a shame you had to find out like this. I hope everything works out for you.

                  #9 michelle6114

                  • Jr. Member
                  • 209 posts

                    Posted 02 June 2009 - 08:20 PM

                    Wow, thats horrible. I would ask her to pay you back for your share of "her" dress (for the record, my sister and I have been bridesmaids many times and no bride ever offered to help us with any expenses) at the very least. Then if you remain friends with her, brag about your wedding and shove pictures in her face every chance you get after you return.

                    #10 amberlynne87

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                    • 148 posts

                      Posted 02 June 2009 - 09:40 PM

                      When she called I didn't talk to her. She left me a message saying that she wanted to talk about school that she was in a bad mood and she was having problems with school. It's like she's acting like nothing happened. Seriously. Ever since they both started acting weird about putting a deposit down and all, I tried talking to her whether on the phone and face to face, she would change the subject and blow it off like nothing. So even if I did tell her how I felt, it wouldn't matter. But after she said "no we aren't going it's just not happening" I tried to give her options and a chance to change her mind, but she blew it off and didn't consider anything. So, I don't plan on talking to "her" ever again nor does my fiance plan on talking to "him". As far as the BM dress goes, the store does not do exchanges, refunds, returns, etc. BUT, I might have lucked out and found a girl to take her place, but we'll see. Regardless, this was a really shitty thing to do and I can't believe that my best friend, someone I considered to be like a sister to me, did this to me. Out of everyone attending my wedding and being part of my wedding she was one that was important to me and one that I cared (past tense) the most about being there. Well it will come to bite her in the a** later. Don't think I'm going to her wedding if she ever has one and hope she doesn't expect me to be there for her when she needs someone when no one else is there.

                      THANKS GIRLS!!! It sucks to have things like this happen, but it does show who the true friends are and shows everyone's true colors. And I completely agree with everyone's thoughts as I have been thinking the same exact things! =)

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