MOH vent!!!! argh!!!

[LisaG]

Thanks for letting me vent girls. Yes, Courtney...I try not to vent but I seriously needed that one...haha!

[tvt]

I cannot believe she asked you to do research for her. As if you don't have enough stuff on your plate with your wedding just months away. Why are some people so selfish?

[Heidi]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tvt Have you talked to her at all about her responsibilities of MOH? I would personally be at the point of promoting another bridesmaid to MOH. Maybe you could do two since your first one isn't really doing so hot just yet.

I agree with Tara, I'd demote her and give the MOH title to a bridesmaid who wants it... So sorry you have to go through this - you are 100% right in feeling the way you do.And asking YOU to research a cheaper place for her to stay?!?! Oh boy!!!

[LisaG]

Yea, the passport thing is worrying me a little also.

[MikkiStreak]

I completely agree---- if it's a money issue but her kids are being paid for by her employers, then she should spend 2-3 days at the resort and then move to a cheaper hotel. But the time she pays for transportation to the wedding and the resort pass, she'll have shelled out just as much as if she had stayed there.

 

As for finding her a hotel to stay in---- if you have a TA, point her in that direction. The TA can try to persuade with the benefits of staying at Dreams, and if not, can possibly point her in the direction of the nearest Motel 6.

 

Now, as for the MOH role---- Yes, demote her. Even if she gets her shit together and applies for the passport, it could be a huge hassle for her to receive it and make sure it's correct. Plus, if she's taking her kids, she's going to have to get their passports addressed and if she is a single parent, she's going to have to deal with the parent authorization letters to have the kids travel with her. The passport alone is enough reason to demote her. But then add in the dress she hasn't bought, the plans she hasn't made for once she arrives, and leaving everyone else in the bridal party hanging in limbo---- and it's an "ABC After-School Special" waiting to happen!

 

It can be done politely and without hard feelings. Make it about her--- how you're trying to save her money, how you'd feel guilty for her spending so much money on passports, the dress, and accommodations----- she'll wind up thinking you're a saint for letting her off the hook....

[DreaW]

Sorry about that Lisa.....Well this is why E and I are deciding to elope this July....we told my parents and sisters and they are coming....we haven't told E's parents yet because we don't want them inviting the whole world and also be pissed at us....

 

I told bf who were my bridesmaids and they totally understand about the quick marriage.....they are invited to come if they want but no pressure since it's in a month

[LisaG]

Well I talked to her last night....I failed to mention to you that I asked her in December to start planning her trip since I know she is a single mom and I thought 7 months would be plenty of time for her to plan accordingly. I also told her that this was the most important day of my life and with her being my best friend of 15 years, I really thought she would have taken me seriously.

 

o.k., so back to our conversation. I called her and gave me my TA info and asked her to call her and see what she could do for her as far as a cheaper hotel and maybe confirm with her the day pass price.

 

I told her I wanted to say something to her and to please not take offense to it.....I said I know you are a single mom trying to make my wedding a vacation for her and her girls. I said that I did not have a problem with that at all. I did tell her however that if the girls were there, that I would not have her full attention as I am going to need. That I am also going to need her full support in the next 2 months before we leave for my final decisions, support at showers, bach party, travel with me and stay with me at my hotel so she is there for anything that may come up. I then told her that I did not feel that she was capable of giving any of this to me and if she needed to step down as my MOH I would totally understand.

 

She said well 6 months ago when you asked me to be your MOH, you told me that if I did not go you would never talk to me again....well yes I did say that, but I had no idea that she would take the entire 6 months to decide to make travel arangments....she's stressing me out...I need to ask her things about the wedding...and she's never there to talk to me. I told her that YES I was making this all about me and sorry, but I don't feel selfish at all for asking her for her full attention for the next few months.

 

She said she REALLY wants to go and asked that I give her the week to figure things out on her end. So, we'll revisit next week.

 

Thank you girls SO much for listening to me and giving me great feedback!

[JaimeLynne]

Sounds like maybe she wasn't up for the job to begin with - just scared of you! haha ;P

 

I'm glad y'all talked, and I hope everything works out for the best! I expect to hear good news during our Dallas BDW meetup next week.

[LisaG]

I really hope I have good news too!

 

I LOVE HER TO DEATH!!!! I really want her to be there to share this with us.

[soulmates]

I'm glad that you two spoke. I hope everything works out.