24 replies to this topic

[TATrisha]

I think you'll find that people will surprise you... and obviously the mom's too. Everyone loves going on vacation, so if people can afford it, they'll be there. Send those STDs out!

[Amarillis]

Ok, so I don't want to be conceited in anyway... but --- I'm gonna throw it out there.

My solution is by far the best!

We faced similar comments/ideas (not as harsh though) when we discussed the Save the Dates and Wedding Invites.

DH and I decided that it was not our place to decide

• who would want
• be able to afford
• physically be able to go

To our DW.

We also agreed that it was not fair to expect people that had not been invited to Cuba to participate in

• showers
• stag and doe
• other wedding related parties

Because.... it was not our place to decide who had the want to go to Cuba.

In my opinion, if you are not invited to the ACTUAL WEDDING (DW or not), you should not be invited/expected to attend

• showers
• stag and doe
• other wedding related parties (with the exception of office parties)

So, in closing - send STD's and Invites to EVERYONE you will be inviting to your AHR... it is common courtesy.

[TheFutureMrs.Sears]

We were going through the same thing and I became so frustrated that I just told everyone, at this point the only thing that matters is that Jimmy is waiting for me at the other end of the isle!! It worked everyone backed off

[Andi]

wow, sorry you are going through this...we had some resistance from my MIL early on too. I second what everyone else has said...send your STD's early and give guests enough time to decide/save money on their own if they want to attend or not.

Do you think that maybe your mom and FMIL are pushing back at all because they might be against the DW all together? we had some of that too...but again, this is your guys day and if you really want to get married on the beach in another country than DO IT and don't worry about what anyone else tells you! in the end it all worked out for us...my mom was so sad when the trip was over...and she was sort of against the whole thing at the beginning!

[midnight24]

i say you still invite the people you want to come. if they can't make it, fine they can't make it. but if they can...they can prepare for it.

i didn't think anyone would want to come to ours, but as soon as we told people we were going away...we've had more people say...'i want to come!' which actually surprised me.

sometimes, people need a real good excuse like a wedding to go on vacation!

[JOSIE]

My mom and I have bickered about the process a lot too. I think you shoud invite them and send STD's. You never know who will want a vacation, she may be surprised!

Good Luck

[Sammygurlj]

Them thinking people won't come has nothing to do with sending out STD's. STD's are to let people know and prepare if they want to be there and also to announce your wedding. You should definately send them out to the people you want to be there and give them the chance to make the decision for themselves. It isn't up to the mothers to make decisions for all of your guests so tell them to either help you out or back off.

[heartbeat]

I think that you should send out STD... I'm sure pple will want to come seeing that they will have plenty of time to save money. Plus, you will never know who will come unless you actually invite them. It's your wedding and you should do what YOU want! hope every thing works out and LOADS of pple come..lol

[Sheree10]

Try to stay positive. If people are given enough notice and they can save up for the event they may come. You'll be suprised. I agree with others, invite those you would like to attend. Then you can celebrate with everyone at your AHR.

[MissyR]

Remember too that people look at this as a vacation. We sent out our save the dates about 11 months in advance - although I knew a DW was what I wanted - I was afraid no one would come. In the end we had 59 ppl and most of the ppl I wanted there were able to make it.