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Second guessing?

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#1 MissLucky7Bride

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    Posted 19 May 2009 - 12:03 AM

    So, I am approximately ~ 150 days until the big day and I had my first break down yesterday. I totally picked every item apart and started to second guess myself and my choices. NOT my fiance or getting married!!

    I have been second guessing all the decisions I have made so far - my dress, my flowers, my reception dinner........

    Is this normal?

    #2 H&F

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    • 361 posts

      Posted 19 May 2009 - 10:10 AM

      I'm so sorry MissLucky7Bride! I think there are just so many beautiful choices out there it is completely understandable to wonder if you'd like something better. Are you unsure about the entire color theme or is it that you just want to do some "tweaking"?

      As for the dress, there was an episode of "Say yes to the dress" where the bride was sure that she no longer wanted the dress she had chosen months before. After trying on tons of dresses in the store she realized that her original dress was still the right one. She just needed the seamstress to make a few design alterations to the dress and then it was perfect. I don't know if that helps but I thought I'd share that.

      Hang in there and I hope you feel better in a few days!

      BTW-- we are date and location twins! Where are you getting married in PV?

      #3 MarieSam

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        • LocationSouthern California

        Posted 19 May 2009 - 10:23 AM

        In my opinion, it's TOTALLY NORMAL!!! So don't worry girl, don't stress

        I started really planning things about 18 months ago, I went back and forth about so many things. Prime example -- and I'm still flip flopping on this one -- I am a 5 dress brides, yes I said 5 dresses!!!! And when I say 5, I personally have 4, although the one I'm likely to go with has yet to arrive. Luckily 2 are refundable and well the other 2 were not expensive so I can always re-sell.

        As for photographer -- I went back and forth so many times on that one, even after we booked someone I still kept looking and asking for quotes from others. Why? I don't know, probably to torture myself. But now I am so so happy that we decided to go with our first choice, and feel blessed we've booked her.

        I think it's true, there are so many choices out there for EVERYTHING!! And it doesn't help when so many gals on here share their wonderful finds, ideas, vendors -- you can't help but to think, "should I have done what they did?" It's totally normal, and for the most part, it's very helpful because then you have so many more options to choose from. But I think in the end, you will find more often than not, you will essentially end up with your first choice. At least that was what it was like for me.

        So while this may be stressing you out now, enjoy it. We only become brides once, the planning can be both stressful and fun ~ the good thing is that you have lots of time before your wedding so you can always change things along the way.

        #4 JOSIE

        • Sr. Member
        • 1,792 posts

          Posted 19 May 2009 - 10:30 AM

          MarieSam is right! Totally normal! I look at things I LOVED and was obsessed with in the beginning, and now I'm like "eh, its OK". haha You really do get overwhelmed with all the choices and all the different visions you have. I'm sure that on your wedding day you will love how everything looks when you can see it all come together.

          best wishes :)

          #5 doblauvelt

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          • 380 posts

            Posted 19 May 2009 - 04:26 PM

            Well I'm not in your boat quite yet, I still have a ways to go before my wedding date. But it's totally normal to second guess yourself. It's like a multiple choice question on an exam, you chose A but you went for B, but A was right all along! Just take a step back and look at everything and picture it all on your wedding day.You chose everything for a reason right? Don't go crazy changing things last minute, I'm sure it will all work out!

            #6 Vikki

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              Posted 19 May 2009 - 05:16 PM

              Sounds normal to me. I'm second guessing my choice of resorts, dates, who I'm inviting, my BD shots.....I think I'm ok with the dress.

              Take a deep breath. Remember-this whole thing is about you and your soulmate, all the other details won't matter, you probably won't even remember them in 5 years.

              #7 estella1007

              • Jr. Member
              • 475 posts

                Posted 19 May 2009 - 06:02 PM

                I have already changed my mind like 10 times on EVERYTHING! And still second guessing the dress. I made myself crazy and cried for a few weeks over every detail. One day it all just stopped. It started making sense, and I haven't even given it another thought. I basically told my planner that I trust her. She knows what I like now, and it's all her choice at this point. Making that decision has saved my sanity. The only thing I can say is that you will get there too. I think every bride goes through it. When I was having one of my "meltdowns" on the phone with my planner, she said to relax, and that every one of her brides comes "full circle" with the planning.

                #8 jajajaja

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                  Posted 19 May 2009 - 07:01 PM

                  Simple answer- YES! It's even more difficult because you constantly see great ideas on BDW so it makes you rethink everything.

                  My advice- go with your gut and stick with it. No need to stress yourself out to make everything "perfect." Not to be a Debbie Downer, but no matter how much planning you do something will go wrong. It may be a small thing, but the best lesson you can learn is to roll with the punches. Focus on the positive and have the best time of your life! :)
                  Happily married since 2008

                  #9 MissLucky7Bride

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                  • 147 posts

                    Posted 19 May 2009 - 11:58 PM

                    Thanks so much for all the words of wisdom. I think that as being a bride, your ideal is to have everything "perfect!" I really hope I get over this hump!!! Today was better....I will try and wrap my hands around the details and take it day by day :)

                    #10 **~Jenn~**

                    • Sr. Member
                    • 1,236 posts

                      Posted 20 May 2009 - 09:26 AM

                      I started planning this 8 months ago and everything that i didn't like in the begining, I wanted towards the end. I have changed my mind, Picked apart the things I already had or made and wanted to scream!
                      I think it's totally normal. Besides we, as women normally do that to ourselves anyway...Put in a stressful situation, it's bound to be worse.
                      Don't worry...Don't think about it for a day (which is so easier said then done!!) but tr4y not to and go back over things when you are more relaxed.
                      No worries! I'm sure everything you ahve is great!!

                      Oh & I totally agree that being on BDW makes it harder (in a good way)..Everytime a planning thread comes out, I see something else that I want!! LOL
                      Married @ Dreams Cancun 06/24/09
                      My Wedding Reviewhttp://bestdestinati....24-09-a-45066/Pics By Juan Navarrohttp://www.facebook.....9&l=32db696cd3

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