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Will I be a bridezilla if...

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#11 BBtoB

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    Posted 14 May 2009 - 01:38 PM

    I agree with the other girls. If you are worried about losing money, I would maybe rethink the gesture. Although it is a great idea...and so creative and generous! You have already gone above and beyond...if you really want to give the photo time, you will just have to trust that people will show. I would not advise any contracts with friends.

    just my 2 cents. Good luck!

    #12 JulieG

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      Posted 14 May 2009 - 01:40 PM

      Question, do you seriously think your contract would hold up in court? Would you sue your friends if they had to back out of being in your wedding for some reason If so, then your friends know this is the kind of person you are and will probably not be surprised by your contract request.

      If someone asked me to sign a contract like this, I would excuse myself from being in their wedding and I in fact would not go to the wedding and would probably no longer be friends with them.

      This has to be one of the most bridezilla things I have heard to date and I have heard a lot of things.

      Again, if your friends know that this it the kind of person you are then they probably will not be shocked. I think they would assume its a joke though, and not take it seriously, but they might not be offended. We don't know you and so we are just going on how we would react if one of our friends asked us, but your friends know you, so like I said before, they might not be surprised at all.

      #13 KatelynMarie123

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        Posted 14 May 2009 - 01:43 PM

        I agree. I would be very offended if asked to sign a contract. Being in a wedding is about friendships, not business contracts.

        #14 rodent


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          Posted 14 May 2009 - 01:45 PM

          Originally Posted by CrystalM
          I wrote up a contract for my wedding party?

          I'm not talking about the contract like not wanting my BM's to change their hair color or no getting pregnant.

          I think it's semi tacky to ask someone to be part of your day and then ask them to pay for everything so I'm buying my BM dresses, shoes, paying for half of their hotel rooms, and "lending" my photographer out to them for them to have nice pro photos of them and their families (2 are bringing her hubby and kids and the 3rd's date is her mom, who was also invited). Total is about $300-400 each.

          If they decide after I've paid for said things not to go or can't go, for any reason, I don't want to lose the money.

          I'm a photographer and I know the value of a contract is worth it's weight in Platinum...FI says that bringing in a contract into something like this is going to make me lose friends, but I think it's important for me not to be out that money if someone flakes on me...
          save the receipt on the shoes. the dress probably can not be returned. go through a TA so only a deposit needs to be paid until a month prior. That way you wouldn't be out 1/2 the room cost if they decided not to come.

          I'm confused by "lending" your photographer. Are you flying a photographer in & having them do family portraits of your bridal party while they are there? Have you talked to them about this? usually a contract specifies how much shooting time you are getting so you can't just assume they will be doing anything you want the entire trip. Also, then they have that many more pictures to edit when they return. You said you are a photographer, so you've probably thought about all that. I just don't want girls reading that to get the impression that they can give their DW photographer an extra list of jobs to do.

          #15 rodent


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            Posted 14 May 2009 - 01:47 PM

            also, there was a bridezilla episode where she had the girls sign a contract

            #16 ACDCDCAC

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            Posted 14 May 2009 - 01:52 PM

            i agree withe majority, and my biggest concern is, well so what if someone signs and bails? what do you plan to do to get reimbursement from them? i mean, its not like you can MAKE them pay you back time, money and stress over it.

            #17 BachataBride

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              Posted 14 May 2009 - 02:23 PM

              yeah....you should definitely pass on this idea. Huge faux pas as far as I'm concerned!! If you wanted - you could always tell them to buy the things they need, and you will reimburse them before the wedding. That way if they bail, then you are not out the $$. The photographer thing...I don't know. Maybe you should just cancel that, as nice a gesture as it is. Maybe have the photographer do a couple family shots for them at your wedding - if you don't mind sharing!

              #18 jajajaja

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                Posted 14 May 2009 - 02:25 PM

                I guess I don't get it like the other girls. Are you going to have some clause of what happens if they back out of the "contract?" Personally, I would rather pay for my own crap to be in a friends bridal party, then to ask her to have me sign the contract!!! It's WAYYY more normal and standard to have the BMs pay for their own dresses then to make a contractual obligation. So if you are worried about money, I suggest not ponying up the costs and instead treat them to a nice spa day or something once they are in St. Thomas- that way no money (or friendships) lost!
                Happily married since 2008

                #19 mich999

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                  Posted 14 May 2009 - 02:35 PM

                  Yes, you will be the ultimate bridezilla and will have less friends if you proceed with this idea. It sounds like you're paying for people to be your bridesmaids. Pick people who would do it even if you didn't pay for anything and you won't have to worry about people backing out.

                  #20 sunsetbride1

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                    Posted 14 May 2009 - 02:36 PM

                    Wow... well, it isn't something that I would ever personally do or that I would ever fathom my close friends/family doing. I think I would be pretty hurt if a friend said to me "I love you and feel you are important enough to be in my wedding; but I don't trust you enough to believe that you will be there for me - so sign this contract so I don't lose money for the things I want to do for you to thank me for being in my wedding". There really is no nice way to say that without .

                    I understand your concerns about losing money and think it's super sweet of you to want to do all these things for your wedding party; but things happen and people back out whether for understandable or for non-acceptable reasons - it's the reality of a DW.

                    I agree with the other ladies -- either rethink having a wedding party because nothing is ever 100% guaranteed when you are involving other people OR rethink what you are doing for your BM's so if anyone does back out you can get your money back.

                    I don't mean to be harsh .. but I would like to save you the heartache of making the mistake of hurting those that you love.

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