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Need Advice- Should I change location to cater to a select set of guests?


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#11 staceysbride

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    Posted 11 May 2009 - 08:22 PM

    Well on my dad's side, the family consists of me and him. Everyone else has passed away. So this makes it harder for me. I want my dad to walk me down the aisle. We're not traditional (my FI and I that is) on many things on this wedding, but on this, I really want.

    It's just...*sigh* we're getting a GREAT deal at the ERC and we can't get those rates with any other resort, it's the resort that WE want, and honestly, my stepbrother's and I see each other maybe twice a year if we're lucky. They are family, but it's not like brothers you grew up with from birth. I mean, four years ago, I was still an only child...er only adult KWIM?

    I know it's a faux pas but I think I will just have to bite the bullet and say that everyone either comes down as a family and younger SB just stays at their resort for the day, or I guess my dad won't be there. As another poster already mentioned, chances are, he'll hear it from her. And chances are, he'll forgo my wedding to make her happy. Such are the dynamics of a blended family....

    #12 KimmyG

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      Posted 11 May 2009 - 08:23 PM

      If there's a family-friendly resort close by I would invite and encourage your dad and stepfamily to come on this trip and stay there. Perhaps they can hire a babysitter for the 13 year old for the night and the rest of the fam can come to the wedding. To make it up to your stepbro offer to take him and his brother on an excursion to do something cool. Think that might smooth things over with everyone?

      #13 ~Stephanie~

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        Posted 12 May 2009 - 08:16 PM

        I saw this thread late but if you are still looking for suggestions I have one for you... I too wanted an adults only resort because as much as I love children and even have children of my own, I don't want to listen to other peoples kids screaming by the pool on my honeymoon.. that said.. we booked The Royal Playa del Carmen, it is an adults only resort that has a family resort, The Gran Porto Real, right next door. Our adults only resort allows kids for the ceremony so we can accomodate guests with kids by just having them stay a few yards away next door! Maybe you can look into something like this? Good Luck!
        ~Stephanie

        Our wedding websitewww.mywedding.com/stephanieandmichaelbailey

        #14 staceysbride

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          Posted 12 May 2009 - 10:00 PM

          Stephanie,

          thank you for the info! That might ever be a solution. Maybe we can just go over to the Excellence after the wedding. I will have to look into it. Have you found the coordinator easy to work with? Though based on a quick glance at the pricing (and conversion into USD ) I'm going to have to tell the 'rents that if I have to change location to a different place- we're going to need help with the tab.

          Thank you again for adding advice!

          #15 foxytv

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            Posted 12 May 2009 - 10:19 PM

            I am still amazed that your Dad would forgo walking you down the aisle to keep the peace with his wife - and that your stepmom would not INSIST that he be there to walk his daughter down the aisle. But, as you said, the dynamics of a blended family are different, I suppose.

            I will continue to follow this thread and pray that a tangible solution that allows for the true wedding of your dreams!!!

            xoxo

            #16 RoryS

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              Posted 13 May 2009 - 11:49 AM

              My niece wanted an Adults Only resort, but switched to another because her future SIL wanted to bring her younger child along (other one is 18 - so not a problem). Turns out neither kid is coming, so she changed everything for nothing!

              #17 Celina

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                Posted 13 May 2009 - 04:42 PM

                Honestly, you have over a year to keep planning. I would keep an eye out for a resort that may be less expensive. This is a hard one. You only get married once and I'm sure it would be a lifelong regret to not have your dad walk you down the aisle. I understand your thought about kids and all, but also, you have to keep in mind that people who go to DW's are on vacation also. If I was invited to a DW and there weren't kids allowed I wouldn't go. If you don't change locations, it would definitely cause a rift. I hope you find an easy solution. This is a tough one! Good luck - I hope it works out.
                "Love is not who you live with...it's who you can't live without"

                #18 ~Stephanie~

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                  Posted 13 May 2009 - 05:00 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by staceysbride
                  Stephanie,

                  thank you for the info! That might ever be a solution. Maybe we can just go over to the Excellence after the wedding. I will have to look into it. Have you found the coordinator easy to work with? Though based on a quick glance at the pricing (and conversion into USD ) I'm going to have to tell the 'rents that if I have to change location to a different place- we're going to need help with the tab.

                  Thank you again for adding advice!
                  As with all WC, ours is hit or miss with communication. However I didn't have too many problems with getting my date scheduled and they are always so very nice. All of the brides from BDW that have married there have reported that when they got there all their worries were taken care of and that the WC's were fabulous! So, check it out. I found it to be the perfect solution, and its just gorgeous too! PM me if you need any info!
                  ~Stephanie

                  Our wedding websitewww.mywedding.com/stephanieandmichaelbailey

                  #19 staceysbride

                  staceysbride
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                    Posted 13 May 2009 - 05:50 PM

                    I am happy to report that a solution has been found. The family will come and will stay in a neighboring resort. The 'rents will come for the ceremony that day, and if the ERC will not let him in then my stepbrother will just go hang out at their resort. My FI and I will spend some time with the family at their resort while they are around.

                    I know it sounds horrible to those with children, but none of our friends, relatives, etc have children. My younger SB is the only child (other than that of my friend who is recently widowed and has decided not to come) involved in the whole proceedings. Had the situation been different, where there were lots of children involved, we would have bit the bullet and gone to a different resort.

                    But it doesn't matter, for now the problem is solved and we don't have to rebook and and deal with the headache of pulling out money we've paid and applying it elsewhere. Thanks to all!

                    #20 BlakleyBrideToBe

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                      Posted 15 May 2009 - 11:15 AM

                      It's YOUR wedding!! I wouldnt cater to anyone! It's MY day!!




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