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Not having bridesmaids anymore but honorary bms...ever heard of it?

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5 replies to this topic

#1 WAJA2009

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    Posted 08 May 2009 - 08:49 AM

    okay, I asked a total of 7 girls to be in my bridal party originally. As time went along, some of them expressed that they did not care about being in the wedding party and two of them even said they were fine with just being an attendee. One of them I don't speak to anymore. The others just don't really seem enthusiastic and weren't sure if they were still coming to the wedding and none of this is for any particular reason that I know about. It just happened this way. My two best friends who were maids of honor are still throwing me a bach party and bridal shower and have now confirmed coming to the wedding.

    Anyway, due to all of the above and due to the fact that only 35 people are actually coming to the wedding (this number was originally 75 people) I decided that it was best not to have bms/gm and just have everyone enjoy the wedding without having to worry about getting a dress etc. I am only asking my sisters to dress in the same color and walk down the aisle, and sit down. I asked the others to just wear the same color (a different color from my sisters), but they will not stand next to me or walk down the aisle.

    However, I still would like to honor my maids of honor in some way but I just can't think how. I keep hearing/reading about honorary bms but don't really know how that works. Any suggestions?

    #2 becks



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      Posted 08 May 2009 - 08:53 AM

      I had "unofficial" bridesmaids. My best friends and sister are spread out all over the world, and it just seemed easier not to make a big fuss over it. So I asked them to wear something pink - I didn't care what shade, style, etc. I arranged a private brunch the day of the wedding, gave them matching necklaces and we all got dressed together that afternoon (and a little tipsy, perhaps). It was great. And the photos were beautiful.

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      #3 boscobel

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        Posted 08 May 2009 - 09:15 AM

        I had asked 7 friends to be in my wedding as well. Only my sister, Matt's sister and Jacqueline were able to make it to JA, so the other 4 were my honorary bm's. The way that I made that work was totally based on my AHR though. The JA girls wore the same printed dress to JA and the AHR, but at the AHR my 4 other girls were in all the bridal group photos and stuff but wore the VS 7 in 1 dress in pink. So they matched but were different. I had custom necklaces made for all 7 of them that were yellow gold with hibiscus flowers on them (to symbolize my wedding, since it was hibiscus themed), and a yellow diamond on the hibiscus (to symbolize my engagement ring). So I was really happy with the way it worked out. All 7 of them were a big part of planning my bach party and shower.

        Since your situation is a little different, I don't really have many suggestions, but wanted to give you an idea of how someone else dealt with it. Good luck with whatever you choose to do!

        #4 SunBride

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          Posted 08 May 2009 - 09:17 AM

          Well I had 2 bridesmaids, and we were only 9 guests total (including us). I didn't think there was any point making them stand next to us (they werne't even the ones to sign the documents becuase we needed 4 people, so we asked the 4 parents to do that). So they wore matching dresses and walked down the aisle and sat down. That was pretty much their bridesmaid roles! I still called them bridesmaids rather than "honorary".

          My 3 girlfriends were unable to come and so I called them "honorary bridesmaids" as they wore matching dresses to our at home reception.

          Hope this helps! I'm just trying to say that just because they don't stand at the front, if you want them to wear matching dresses and if they are walking down the aisle with you then I would call them bridesmaids! However if they are not walking down the aisle, then I don't really see the point in them dressing matching, they would probably just prefer to wear their own thing. But maybe not, if they want to wear matching dresses then go for it.

          #5 rodent


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            Posted 08 May 2009 - 09:35 AM

            I had 9 honorary BMs. i superimposed their heads on funny bridesmaid pictures. you can see it in my planning thread (link in siggy). I gave them all the pictures in a small album with more funny pictures of us together.

            most of them couldn't attend the wedding. Only 2 made it. I liked not having official BMs because I didn't want anyone to feel pressure to go. With all the things that come up, it was better that most of them didn't make the trip. One friend was pregnant & another unemployed. One was selling a house & the other was moving. Just lots of stuff going on in their life & not the best time to jet off to mexico.

            I took pictures with the 2 girls that made it the day after the wedding. But, they wore their wedding dresses. It was a blast doing a three bride TTD.

            In all my times as a bridesmaid, i'd be just as happy as a guest. Or maybe just invited to get ready with the bride, but then go take a seat for the wedding.

            I invited the girls to drop in my room while i was getting ready. I didn't want them to stay with me all that time & miss out on the beautiful day at the beach. They popped in wearing swimsuits just in time to zip me up. our photographer got some funny pictures of that.

            #6 sunsetbride1

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              Posted 08 May 2009 - 11:53 AM

              I completely understand... we are having 17 people come to our wedding and 6 of them are in our BP (3 BM's and 3 GM's). My 3 GM's are my 3 best friends (both FI and I had 2 of our BP drop out and we no longer speak to any of them... that's another thread) and FI's are his 3 best friends ---
              But, my younger cousin who I am very close with decided within the past 2 months that she can afford to come to the wedding and I wanted to include her in some way as she is close family-- so I am having her as an Honorary BM and she will be doing a reading in our wedding and included in all the BM's activities as well as receive a gift.

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