how to ask or suggest for only money as a wedding gift

[MDLady]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sloan I was a bit annoyed. Considering the same "friend" couldnt be bothered to send back the RSVP for my own wedding or phone or send an email saying congrats or hey I cant come. I wasnt able to make their wedding, so tacky as it may be I didnt send the RSVP back or bother to get her a "monetary gift". Tit for tat. Im a vindictive bitch and dont care.

LOL!!! Good for you. Seriously. I would do the same thing and I'm not a mean person. I just think it's the rudest thing in the world to not respond to an invite (WEDDING, not bbq or happy hour). What could she possibly expect in return?!?!?!?

[jennifer769405]

I was wondering about this same thing! My fiance's aunt sent me a message asking if we were registered anywhere and I told her no, that we were not expecting gifts and appreciate the effort people have made to be there with us. And her response was: any suggestions?? I have no idea how to respond to that??!!

[MDLady]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennifer769405 I was wondering about this same thing! My fiance's aunt sent me a message asking if we were registered anywhere and I told her no, that we were not expecting gifts and appreciate the effort people have made to be there with us. And her response was: any suggestions?? I have no idea how to respond to that??!!

If you suspect that you might be getting more of those questions from those who cannot attend, I would put a registry together, just a small one, to save people the trouble of guessing what you need. It's very simple to do. My Macy's registry has about 20 items on them, ranging from $15-$250. This way people don't have to wreck their brains trying to guess what we need if they intend to get us a gift.

[Marie]

Hey,

 

I know this is totally my opinion.....and I hope Im not offending anyone, but honestly-I have been too so many weddings, and bridal showers and I always take a deep breath and shake my head when I see "green back" or "cash only". I mean really.......Im getting married because Im in love, and I want to be my fiances wife- not because Im excited about getting gifts and money. Im even awkward over the fact that people THINK they have to get us anything. One thing to be invited to attend a wedding or wedding shower etc, another thing to be TOLD what to bring. My fiance and I have own house, we ve been together 9 years.....but I soo appreciated the new dishes, the new bed sheets, the towels, the gift certificates, the homemade crafts-I thought it was so sweet people even brought me anything! I was so grateful.

 

Dont get me wrong, I think registries are a great idea. Often people wanna give you something you will use and you will need. But unless you're like my grandmother or a close relative-i do not feel comfortable event taking your money. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable asking for donations towards a honeymoon? Its my opinion that if you need people to contribute to that, then yous shouldn't be planning one....again, its one thing for your parents or grandparents to slip you cash because they wanna HELP....but its another thing to demand money from guests. I think its embarrassing, and anytime Ive seen it done, I see the same reaction from people......

 

I feel far to string about the money thing to have even posted here I think! lol......again, just my opinion, Im sorry if Ive offended anyone....

 

Having said all that-because we felt so strongly about it, we included something like, "the only gift we ask for is your presence on our wedding day" We plan to have our reception when we get home too-again, the point is to have people celebrate our wedding with us-drinks, laughter, dancing, good conversations, catching up with friends, and have also included that the same line on our reception invite......

[Mere]

My co-workers INSISTED on giving me a shower-even after I told them what we were doing-getting married in Cancun, just the two of us. They still FORCED (LOL) me to have a shower and I think they are doing a money tree. I felt bad since I wasn't going the traditional route, but they said, "we aren't traditional and we don't follow etiquette!" LOL

[NaM]

You could always register somewhere like Bed Bath and Beyond where they accept returns and give you back cash instead of store credit. That way, if you get something you want you can keep it, otherwise you can return it and have the cash. That avoids offending anyone and saves people the trouble of "racking their brains" for a gift.

 

Just an idea!

[jhartford19]

I am also in the same boat, I have been with my Fi for 10 years and we have lived together for 5. We bought a house and bought everything brand new for it. But I am still going to register and through word of mouth and by what is on our registry people will realize that we have all of the basics. We are going to upgrade anything that needs to be upgraded (i.e. we really need a nice douvet) and just hope for the best. I would suggest that you do the same and don't mention money a gift is optional and sometimes people are offended by the request of money.

[sungoddess_08]

I completely agree. I feel it is really tacky to request money. I mean I would be offended if someone told me they would prefer I give them money. The point of a gift is to be thoughtful on the part of the giver, not to be told what to give. We were invited to a wedding once where the bride/groom put "cash is requested" ON THE INVITATIONS!!!! I thought it was so rude.

 

I would not suggest that people give you money, but rather just mention that you don't need anything for your apartment (if they choose to give you money, great -- if not, you'll still probably end up with a thoughtful gift from them).

[dcjackie]

I don't think theres a way to ask for only money as a wedding gift. I definitely wouldn't put it on my invites. I really feel that with a DW, gifts are overkill, and I'd really discourage any gifts at all. I agree with pp, that maybe doing a teensy registry for upgrades to the stuff we have. Better yet, I'm thinking of a donation to the charity of the guest's choice. NOT on the invite, just by word of mouth.

 

I just don't think it's good etiquette to refer to gifts at all on the invitation.

[Mere]

I have mine on our website. I am registered with Honeymoon Wishes. We just received our first gift-soooo exciting! Good Luck to ya!