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Amelie

Did you ever have doubts?

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My mum always said there is a fine line between love and hate lol She regularly said I mostly can't stand your dad but I do love him lol

 

Think I may have that attitude cause this morning I wanted to kill the git lol

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I think it is natural to be afraid and convert those feelings into doubt. It's hard to look at your life and say yes I know 100% that me and this man are going to be together forever. I've seen friends and relatives that had the big red flag before the wedding and I think we put money on when they were going to get divorced. There have also been those I didn't see it coming from a million miles away.

 

My best advice is to talk about any and every topic that you think of before marriage. You have to know what he wants to accomplish financially vs what you want. If you have someone who only cares about money and is going to work all the time and never be home but just wants to be rich.. then I would be alarmed, especially if you want someone who is going to be there for you. The FI and I play this stupid little game on date night. It's 50 questions and I'll think of something I haven't talked about before and we bring it up while drinking wine. It sounds kind of dumb but you can learn a lot about someone and be able to ask more difficult questions like about kids, house duties, what would you do if the other person passed, etc .... You both may have come from different financial backgrounds and that may dictate the way you think about money and spend it, but the most important part is if you have a similar future goal and how you want to live your life.

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WOW Jess are you a therapist? That is a great idea. I too have a list of questions that was given to me that I thought I knew the answers to, but I didn't. At least no where near as much as I thought I did. But it is a great way to keep communication lines open and like Jess stated broach certain touchy subjects in a light manner. I would love to see some of your questions.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hartyt509 View Post

I go between thinking this is the best thing for me and then what the hell am I doing lol
Yeah, I am totally in touch with this sentiment... !

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OMG I have doubts like weekly. I come from being independant for a few years to morving in with fi and having to compromise sooo much. It's a complicated issue but in response to ur question yes I often wonder if our love will be enuf, actually I even question our lve sometimes. I just have to pray that it'll work.

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Truthfully reading this post is both refreshing and disturbing. I find it refreshing because all of the world does doubt everything at some point so for those that are willing to admit it I respect and admire that. For those that reacted like oooo noooo I would never doubt, you have to question whats the big deal in admitting that? I know I doubt..I think as humans we all doubt because we are living in a world where many believe there is always the next best thing.

I love my fiance to death, we've been engaged a yr and living together for 9 mths and been together for 3 yrs and while I know I will marry him, that doesnt mean there arent days where i think what the hell am i doing, and take it further to say I talk to myself and remind myself "oh yea this is what ur here for". But I think thats what makes us human..as long as in your sane unangry moments you're sure thats all that matters. We're female, we're hormonal, oversensitive and overanalytical so ofcourse were gonna be confused as hell. ACTUALLY I hear him snoring now and wanna shove the pillow over his face but thats ok because in the morning i'll forget about it and want to hug and kiss the crap out of him.

We're all nuts..thats what keeps us going. We need the doubtful moments to question our perspective, and the amazing moments to reassure ourselves.

whew...ya got all that? lol

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Quote:
Originally Posted by BillysBride View Post
If it weren't for money, I doubt very seriously we would ever fight. lol
Hahaha... so true right? We get along great, but money can throw in a little wrench sometimes lol...

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Quote:
Originally Posted by karenk77 View Post
Truthfully reading this post is both refreshing and disturbing. I find it refreshing because all of the world does doubt everything at some point so for those that are willing to admit it I respect and admire that. For those that reacted like oooo noooo I would never doubt, you have to question whats the big deal in admitting that? I know I doubt..I think as humans we all doubt because we are living in a world where many believe there is always the next best thing.
I love my fiance to death, we've been engaged a yr and living together for 9 mths and been together for 3 yrs and while I know I will marry him, that doesnt mean there arent days where i think what the hell am i doing, and take it further to say I talk to myself and remind myself "oh yea this is what ur here for". But I think thats what makes us human..as long as in your sane unangry moments you're sure thats all that matters. We're female, we're hormonal, oversensitive and overanalytical so ofcourse were gonna be confused as hell. ACTUALLY I hear him snoring now and wanna shove the pillow over his face but thats ok because in the morning i'll forget about it and want to hug and kiss the crap out of him.
We're all nuts..thats what keeps us going. We need the doubtful moments to question our perspective, and the amazing moments to reassure ourselves.
whew...ya got all that? lol
Standing "O" for this post!!prayer1.gif

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awww thanks I was pretty impressed myself after I reread it. But I love those people that are like omg you have fights? omg this, omg that..like shuuutuuup,yes we do so what? We love eachother and we have our differences

when we arent fighting we're the couple you cant stand thats always hugging, kissing all affectionate and when we are fighting you could probably hear us down the block, well hear me because he never fights and i realized im a maniac lol. But thats life and it took me a while to understand that, but it is. Anyone that says marriage or even living together is perfect is either lying to you or plain lying to themselves.

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