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save the date/invite drama...


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#1 agirolamo

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    Posted 01 May 2009 - 02:47 PM

    I have had so many people tell me differnt things.
    I have several questions...anyone want to attempt to answer them for me??

    1) If Im planning on a Feb.14 2011 wedding, when should I send out STD's and the invitations?
    2)I wanted to put the destination on the STD (which hopefully is Mexico-but who knows now with this virus there...) what if I change my mind...?
    3)The travel agent that My fiance and I spoke to said that we would need a group # in order to even discuss destiantions or resorts....
    4) have had one person tell me that I should book 6-8 months before wedding date, other people 14 months in advance...??

    Basically I need an overall check list....what to do when??
    h.e.l.p........

    #2 adurrell

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      Posted 01 May 2009 - 04:10 PM

      Hi Agirolamo,

      I too am getting married in 2011. I'm going to send my STDs out exactly one year to the day of getting married. Also, only our closest friends and my FI's mom are attending so we'll know exaclty who is going before hand. We've started to spread the word already and have about 12 definites. We are having 20 people max. After sending my STDs I'm going to create our wedding website with all information listed such as location, dates, hote information and estimated pricing. Once we know exactly who is coming and it gets closer to us leaving, we'll send each person that booked a welcome package with a letter, itinerary and luggage tags to get them pumped for the trip. I'm also putting out of town bags in everyone's room with various supplies that will be needed such as bug spray, flip flops, beach towels, hand lotion, sunblock and suntan lotion, etc.

      In your case, I would NOT send STDs until you've booked your wedding date with a resort. If you change your mind you'd have to send more STDs which would be a waste of money. I'm actually not sure when to send the invitations. I would say about 6-8 months before. Go to the knot.com. They have checklists as to what to do for destination weddings. Don't freak out now. You still have plenty of time. Enjoy being engaged and all the anxiety that comes along with planning your wedding. It'll be here and gone before you know it.

      #3 Amarillis

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        Posted 01 May 2009 - 04:20 PM

        Here is my advice

        I have several questions...anyone want to attempt to answer them for me??

        1) If Im planning on a Feb.14 2011 wedding, when should I send out STD's and the invitations?
        SAVE THE DATES = NOW

        We had our wedding in late January 2009 and the STD's went out in February of 2008 to give guests the heads up that we were going

        INVITES = once you have secured a location and a travel agent and information to provide to your guests - check out my planning thread to see my invites and save the dates


        2)I wanted to put the destination on the STD (which hopefully is Mexico-but who knows now with this virus there...) what if I change my mind...?

        We knew we were doing Cuba, but the month of departure changed from when we sent our save the dates to when the actual invites went out... that is ok, you need not tell guests where... but rather just the heads up that you are going away and to start saving now.

        3)The travel agent that My fiance and I spoke to said that we would need a group # in order to even discuss destiantions or resorts....
        This is BS... sorry that was harsh. You need to have a general idea, you probably know your base #, of family and wedding party, everyone else is gravy and your TA should be understanding. Otherwise find a new TA.

        4) have had one person tell me that I should book 6-8 months before wedding date, other people 14 months in advance...??

        Start looking now, find the best deal, and find a TA you can trust. I don't believe it is ever too late, but rather be sure that the rates that the TA quotes are "Contracted' and you should be good to go

        Happy planning, I hope this helped.

        #4 Mystic

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          Posted 03 May 2009 - 12:23 AM

          You have almost 2 years until your wedding, so I would wait until you confirm the wedding date with a resort before you send out save the dates. You still have time to do some research on destinations!

          My wedding is this October 2009. I spent last summer doing research on different destinations and resorts using this forum and trip advisor mostly. We had our date confirmed with the wedding coordinator at the resort we chose by August 2008, 15 months in advance. We sent out our Save the Dates in November 2008, 11 months in advance. We were going to send out invitations out last week (6 months in advance) with an RSVP deadline of August 1, but I'm holding onto them for another week or so until this swine flu thing hopefully dies down.

          We gave our travel agent a very general idea of how many guests we were inviting and how many of those we thought might actually come, but we didn't need an actual group number to start working with her. There are travel agents on this forum that have lots of experience with destination weddings and they are great! They would be able to help you pick a resort and book travel arrangements for you and your guests.

          #5 koolatta

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            Posted 03 May 2009 - 12:36 AM

            Hi!! I know there is so much drama with planning a wedding. I would say that a year in advance would be the earliest I would send out the Save the Dates. You don't have to put the destination if you don't want to, as long as you have the wedding date set. You can keep it simple by having the date of the wedding and mention something like STD for our destination wedding, Feb.14 2011, invitation to follow. You will confirm the actual location and resort on the invitation (this should be sent out around 6 months in advance, in my opinion).

            The whole bit about having to have a group number to secure a venue I think is crazy. Yes, you should have an idea if you want to allow children at your wedding and whether you want to keep it big or small, but you should not have to come up with a number this soon in the game. I still dont have a number of guests coming and my wedding is in November. I say tell her whether you want a family or adults only resort, areas you are interested in and if you prefer the wedding on the beach or elsewhere just to narrow down resort choices and let her know that at this point you dont know how many guests are coming.

            I booked my wedding a year in advance BTW. Your wedding date is very popular since its valentines day..I would book as early as possible.

            Hope this helps!!
            http://tickers.Ticke....4ed2/event.png

            21 + Bride & Groom Booked!!

            #6 Mystic

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              Posted 03 May 2009 - 09:40 AM

              To go along with what Koolatta said, February 14 IS a very popular wedding date so it will probably book up fast. Some resorts won't let you book a date longer than one year out, which is why you should probably wait to have a resort picked out AND a confirmed date before you send out your save the dates. My resort did allow me to book more than a year out, but my first choice date of Columbus day weekend was already unavailable! And that was almost a year and a half in advance.

              You have so much time that I'm sure you won't have any trouble getting that Feb 14 date. Once that happens, the whole wedding thing starts to seems real and you can move onto the fun planning stuff!

              #7 BillysBride

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                Posted 03 May 2009 - 09:53 AM

                I agree with Amarillis- my std's go out next month, and that will be 11 months prior. I wanted to send them this month, but I'm giving a little extra time due to the entire swine flu issue. With the wedding being a year away, I doubt very seriously it will still be a factor, BUT I don't want to introduce the idea to our guests while all this crap is flying around so seriously.

                The only thing I sorta disagree with is not giving guests a destination. I know for those I know, friends not so much family...it will make a difference in their ability to come. To just say "we're going away, so be ready" wouldn't have cut it for my group:) So even if ya can't nail down a city/venue...I'd definitely at least try to give them a head's up on the country.

                The travel agent was talking nonsense about group numbers. Sounds like she was trying to make sure she got your business. Start looking around, narrow down your location choices so you know where you want to be. As far as booking, from what I've seen, to be honest, anything a year and under works out fine. Personally, I'm gonna try to hold off booking our trip itself til we're within 9 months just because from my price tracking, thats the range that seems to book the cheapest. You can book your wedding and then hold off on booking your travel if that works out better for you.
                Savannah

                http://i17.photobuck....inecollage.jpgThe Fab Four (my quads) Meryn, Kellen, Nico & Layla
                http://global.thekno...rs/tt265ad.aspxhttp://www.mywedding...nnah/index.html20 STD's w. pre-lim RSVP sent 6/15/09: 7 "Yes" so far/10 guests total!

                #8 Ana

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                Posted 13 May 2009 - 08:49 AM

                I didn't really do a save the date per se. Basically we just sent out a mass email to all our friends and family letting them know that we were getting married in Mexico and the date etc... Once we had our prices we sent out another mass email telling everyone the information and asking them to book with out TA (they had 2 weeks to put down a deposit to secure the price). We sent out invites about 4 months before the wedding, and by that point 95% of people had already booked, although we had one family book at the last minute.




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