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Wedding Vent!!!!

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#51 TammyB

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    Posted 24 May 2007 - 09:13 AM

    It's amazing how our FMIL's always blames everything on us. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. A few days isn't going to make that big of a differance, just give her time to cool down.

    BTW, a short FMIL vent of my own..... Cain's Ma doesn't get that when we move (in about 4 years) that she's not moving in our home with us. I've told her countless times that she can live in a house in the back of our property but she IS NOT living under the same roof. Why would she want to live with me again, I mean we were at each other all the time when she was staying with us. God I hope she finds a man within the next few years....

    #52 MikkiStreak

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      Posted 24 May 2007 - 11:10 AM

      I think at this point, if you have contact with Erik's mom the wedding should be an avoided subject matter completely and if she brings it up, stop her right there and just tell her that you'll have her son talk to her. If she questions why, just explain that he had firmly stated he was the one who wanted a small, unpressured wedding and you support him on that.

      I think the desire to 'people please' is what she's feeding on right now. It sounds to me like she's hoping to "win" you over to her line of thought so she can get what she wants. As an in-law, it's easy to get sucked into wanting to please the new family, but that's the biggest reason why Erik needs to be the one to completely deal with his mother about any sensitive issues regarding the wedding---- if you stay involved and try to be the nice, accommodating FDIL, you risk having issues with Erik because the wedding gets too large. If you are the one telling her no, then you become the 'bad guy' and wind up with resentful feelings being directed at you.

      #53 DreaW

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        Posted 24 May 2007 - 11:46 AM

        just so you ladies know Erik is on my side....He just didn't think I should have talked to her right then knowing that she was still upset about it. He wanted me to wait to talk to her after this weekend passed.
        He and I didn't even argue about it last night....We are both tired of the situation....so we just let it be.

        She now has time to think about it over the weekend and on Tuesday I'll be going to her house after work to pick up my dress and if she wants to talk about list then we talk, I do need her list though

        #54 soulmates

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          Posted 24 May 2007 - 12:16 PM

          Hopefully she'll calm down over the weekend and you two can talk about the whole situation on Tuesday!!! I hope everything goes well.

          #55 Nrvsbride

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            Posted 24 May 2007 - 04:51 PM

            Why are FMIL's so difficult? I often wonder if magically by becoming mom's we will change into these evil villians as well when we have our own son's. Geez! I'm glad Erik spoke to her and I'm sorry that things didn't turn out so great. I wish I had better advice for you but as I'm sure you've read I am completely undecisive and don't even want to hear the word "wedding" in my presence unless its related to this forum. Families make everything so stressful. As does money. I'm sorry I'm not helpful but I'm here for you and I will pray that she cools off and that everything goes well.

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