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Had To Share This Clarity Moment

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#1 SgtPepperette

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    Posted 23 April 2009 - 03:52 PM

    So Ive had a rough year. My dad passed shortly after I got engaged, and than I pretty much lost my mother after that. We are estranged from each other, and that is a good healthy choice for me. We never did have a strong realtionship. Regardless, its still hard. Its hard going from having a family, to feeling like an orphan. Its hard planning one of the happiest moments in my life without my family. Its hard to greive while planning a wedding to. But I take each day as it comes.

    Lately Ive been getting wrapped up in how my FI will have a lot of his family at our wedding, and I will have a few. I have step siblings that legally became my "legal" siblings last year. We are 20 years apart, so our relationship is just starting to blossom now that we are adults. Than our dad passed. So we are back stuck in limbo. They are very happy for us and some of them are coming, and Im very grateful for that. But it still doesnt feel the same as my parents. They were always my "family". Just the three of us.

    Now I know my FI family is mine. They treat me like theirs, and are very excited to share this day with us. I try to look at it like that but its hard. I k now they love me just as much as they love my FI, but its still hard.

    Well I have a very good friend I met about 2-3 years ago. I met her on the Breast Cancer 3 Day. I walk every year and we met training. Shes about 17 years older than me, and her husband is about 20 years older than her. These two people have made such an impact on my life in the last few years, as they said I have done them. They are just wonderful.

    Every holiday in the last year, no matter which holiday it is been hard. Im an emotional wreck with no to many people to turn to for support. These two have been there to pick me up when need be. Today at work I got a call from the front desk that I had a delivery. I went and picked it up and it was a boquet of flowers. A beautiful arrangement of gerber daises. My favorite flower. A card reads, Just wanted to know we are thinking of you on Saturday. Have a great birthday. We love you! It was from them.

    I cant even explain the overwhelming emotions I had. These two have been such a backbone to me in so many ways. I feel truly lucky to have met Jen on that training walk a few years ago. Who would of though such a friendship would of blossomed? Im soooo happy that these two can make it to the wedding. They bought their flights the minute they got the STD. They said they wouldnt miss it for the world. :)

    Even though Ive gone through such a hard year, I am still blessed to have people in my life like these two. With this moment I realize its not about family or no family. When I take away that equation I have people who truly care about me. Family is who you make it. :)

    #2 TammyB

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      Posted 23 April 2009 - 03:59 PM

      Awe Melissa, I' am so sorry. It sounds like they love you as if you were their child and I think that's awesome.

      I know my story doesn't even hold water to yours, but none of my family showed up for our DW, it was hard but I just realized more who my "true" family was.

      Hang in there, and if you ever want to talk, I'm here.

      #3 shellk

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        Posted 23 April 2009 - 04:19 PM

        i can not imagine what you must be going through mentally.when you have your bad days say over your last paragraph you have written.these people obviously feel like your family.it is people like this that you need around you.xxxx

        #4 Jess

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          Posted 23 April 2009 - 04:29 PM

          that is so great - they truly are your family :)

          #5 boscobel

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            Posted 23 April 2009 - 04:54 PM

            What a nice silver lining on your year. I am all teared up now.

            #6 mrsrhbtobe

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              Posted 23 April 2009 - 05:34 PM

              Aren't friends great?!? It sounds like your life has been blessed by them :) I've always liked the saying that "friends are the family you chose for yourself". I am glad for you to have people in your life like this.

              I also lost my father this past July, and although I am quite close to my family, my friends and FI were my rocks during my grieving. In fact, Daddy only met my FI once, and died 7 days later. I am sure both of our Daddies are smiling down, and know how happy we are. Take care of yourself, and feel free to PM me anytime if you want a shoulder to lean on :)
              Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.

              #7 tylersgirl

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                Posted 23 April 2009 - 06:05 PM

                Melissa-I just wanted to say that I am thinking about you and sending you *hugs*. You are so lucky to have such great, supportive friends and I wish the best for you.

                #8 SgtPepperette

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                  Posted 23 April 2009 - 09:36 PM

                  Thanks everyone :)

                  My day was turned down when I got home. My mom mailed me a birthday card with a letter in it. She tends to do these things, send me letters. They all say the same thing. She doesnt get where Im coming from. So its frustrating. And tells me how great her life is. Blah Blah Blah. I shouldnt even open them because it really throws me in a bad spot for a few days.

                  She tends to do this right around big days for me. Like my birthday. The last time was the anniversary of my the day my dad adopted me. He was my stepfather and he adopted me two months before he passed.


                  I will not let her get to me. I will enjoy my birthday weekend.

                  Anyhoo, back to the orginal topic. Thanks everyone. Its so easy to look at so many bad things going in. But why waste the energy, and not look at the positive.

                  #9 YoursTruly

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                    Posted 24 April 2009 - 08:50 AM

                    I am glad you realize how truly blessed you are

                    #10 BachataBride

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                      Posted 24 April 2009 - 09:53 AM

                      Oh Melissa!!! How wonderful that you have people in your life who truly care about you!! And how great it is that even with your mom trying to mess things up you have them to think about and be grateful for instead! Even with everything you've been through in the last year, you are blessed to have wonderful people in your life! Family aren't necessarily relatives...and relatives aren't necessarily family!!

                      Happy Birthday for tomorrow!! I hope you have a great day filled with much love from the people around you!!!

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