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Cancelled Wedding???


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#11 ~Jessica~

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    Posted 22 April 2009 - 09:41 AM

    I agree with MarieSam too. And just from previous experience with a guy who treated me the way that your guy seems to be treating you, it will be okay. I used to feel like I didn't know who I was without him, but once I was alone I really found out who I was. And who I was, was a stronger person without him. And at first I was so hurt and didn't know what to do without him, but each day that went by I became stronger. And in the end he helped make me who I am today, because without him I wouldn't know what it was like to need someone who treated me as amazing as my fiance treats me. I would still think men like my fiance don't exist, but they really do. But you deserve way better and even if things work out you deserve for him to change and treat you with love and respect always! The one thing I taught myself when I was going through it, is no man is worth your tears and heartache, and I told myself he would never make me cry again! I would only let him back in if he never made me cry the way he used to and he was always going to make me cry that is why we didn't work. But I hope if you love him and want to be with him that it does work!
    Keep your head up and be strong, because you will be okay, I PROMISE!

    #12 Amarillis

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      Posted 22 April 2009 - 09:47 AM

      Marie Sam hit the nail on the head!

      I really think you need to focus on finding yourself. I am sorry you are going through this, but you are not alone. You have a huge support system right here.

      Keep us posted girl!

      #13 KristinaM

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      Posted 22 April 2009 - 10:07 AM

      I'm so so sorry you're going through this sweetie.

      It sounds like there are some deep rooted issues there that need to be addressed. I agree with the other girls that you need to sit down and figure out where the real problem is.

      But keep your head up and be strong and remember that whatever the problem is- the things he is doing are wrong too and you do NOT deserve to be treated that way.

      MarieSam really covered all of the bases and gave some great advise.

      We're here if you need us and please keep us updated.

      Sending hugs and positive thoughts your way!

      #14 blushingbride

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        Posted 22 April 2009 - 11:33 AM

        Wow! First of all:

        This is really a sad and disappointing story, and I agree with mariesam wholeheartedly. A man that is "embarrassed" of you is not worth your time. But, since we don't know the whole story; there must be some other underlying issues to his sudden reaction. It could be he's suddenly getting cold feet over getting married...why would he he act so rash to ask for the ring back over a little argument? Something's not adding up. Unfortunately, it makes it harder when there are kids involved; it's not as easy as just picking up and moving on with your life because you both have kids to consider.
        Along with other BDW's I wish you all the best in the decision you make; remember to stay strong (if not for you, then for your kids). Keep us posted.

        #15 Jacilynda

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          Posted 22 April 2009 - 11:41 AM

          OMG girl!!!! I'm so so so sorry for you! I don't have much to say, most of the girls have covered my opinion. We are always here to listen. I'm sure we don't really know everything, but you definitely need a straight forward disscussion! I mean are you still together and not getting married or does he not want to be w/ you at all? Univiting you seems SO fishy to me. I hate to say it, but I feel like he invited you like he was obligated to and knew that you never could come so didn't really plan on you coming. Kind of just putting up a front. Its a very two-faced situation!

          Keep us updated, we are concerned about you!

          #16 deefalvey

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            Posted 22 April 2009 - 11:53 AM

            OMG - This STINKS! However, MarieSam is SO right! Time to sit down and have a heart to heart conversation and find out what is REALLY going on. Nobody deserves to be treated the way he treated you...NOBODY!!!

            xoxox
            Bill and DeannaJuly 24, 2009

            #17 niujess

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              Posted 22 April 2009 - 11:54 AM

              Wow, I am so sorry Sweetie. That is absolutely horrible. You need a man who is going to love and cherish you no matter what. He should not be embarrassed of you, he should bring you out and say This is my WOMAN, aren't I lucky that she gave me the time of day. It doesn't sound like this guy is the same man that you fell in love with and pledged to marry. I think that you guys need to talk things over a bit to get some complete understanding, but if this is what your life would be like with him.. I say grieving for a broken engagement is a lot better than years from now being stuck or getting out of a disaster marriage. Keep your head up hun.

              #18 sunset78

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                Posted 22 April 2009 - 12:04 PM

                Something isn't making sense at all.

                He's embarassed of you so he uninvited you? What's he embarassed about?

                Or, I don't want to say it because it's just assumption, but is it the fact he doesn't want you to find out/meet someone?

                "When we decided to get married he said things would be different, but there not." - so there have been problems for awhile by the sounds of it.

                I think you need to step back and really look at the relationship, sometimes going about everyday life you don't see things happening/changing. Has the realtionship always been like this? If not, when did it change do you think? How did it change?

                Agreed, MarieSam has seemed to covered everything.

                **HUGE HUGS**

                #19 Sammygurlj

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                  Posted 22 April 2009 - 12:40 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by Jacilynda
                  I hate to say it, but I feel like he invited you like he was obligated to and knew that you never could come so didn't really plan on you coming. Kind of just putting up a front. Its a very two-faced situation!
                  I completely agree with this, just what I was thinking. It seems very sneeky that he suddenly realized that you are not invited when you said you would go. It makes me wonder what is really going on at this "dinner" that you can't be around for. You definately need to talk to him about this and figure out the real issue. It is complete crap that he would be embarrassed of the woman he loves. When a guy falls in love he usually wants to show off the amazing woman he found. Never let him make you feel like you aren't good enough to go out with him, he is lucky to have you and the wonderful family you have given him.

                  #20 BachataBride

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                    Posted 22 April 2009 - 12:59 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by jpitts78
                    He's embarassed of you so he uninvited you? What's he embarassed about?

                    Or, I don't want to say it because it's just assumption, but is it the fact he doesn't want you to find out/meet someone?
                    This was my first thought. I really hope for your sake that it is not, but it's something you should at least consider.

                    You really need to find out what's going on in that boys head - was he just looking for an excuse (however lame) to get out of the wedding?? That's what it sounds like to me. And if so, why?? If you think that the relationship is going so well, then what is up with him?? Is he worth the effort if he's not making an effort?? And like the others said, he doesn't sound like he's worth the effort if he's embarrassed of you! That is messed up.

                    I hope things work out for the best...whatever that may be.
                    Know that we are all here for you...





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