| Originally Posted by deefalvey |
Kelly I feel ya...my FI grew up with 2 live in maids who did everything for thier family - cook, clean, laundry, etc. The only time I can get him to clean is when I get him REALLY REALLY pissed off (and then its kinda destructive cleaning - anything that is not his goes in the trash), or if he invites people over he will clean up the kitchen area.
We both work full time jobs and at the end of my day I go and pick his kids up from daycare, get the homework done and get dinner going before he even gets home. His job is super-stressful and mine is not and that is his justification for not being able to help out around the house - that he is physically and mentally wiped out by the time he gets home...
We live in a large house - 4400 square feet and there is A LOT of cleaning to do - 4 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms and 4 of us living there. When I had a meltdown at the end of one of his rants, guess what he told me to do...hire a housekeeper!
So I will say, I share your anger in this
| Originally Posted by ~Stephanie~ |
Eventually I did get out of doing laundry, if you shrink his clothes and turn things pink they don't like you doing it anymore!
Men are like puppies, they need constant training and praise! If you overexagerate how happy you are that he did the dishes, he will do them again! Good boy!
| Originally Posted by bumbles |
FI and I divide our housework. Since he is, by far, a better cook, he's in charge of everything kitchen related (cooking, cleaning, dishes) as well as taking out all the trash. I take care of the living room, bathroom and vacuuming. We each do our own laundry and take turns with washing the sheets, towels, etc. Sometimes we trade chores, like I'll do your laundry if I don't have to go grocery shopping (I dislike grocery shopping) It took us a while to adjust but things are going pretty smoothly now.
| Originally Posted by jpitts78 |
Hey I get to be a part of this club too...lol.
My FI doesn't do chores at all... he'll organize his clutter that builds up.
I do the vacuuming, dishes, laundry, cooking, dusting, garbage, clean the litter, walk/clean up after the dogs, grocery shop, make the beds every morning, and so forth. He may occassionally put the dishes away once every 2 months, cleans the garage (but it's his work area), most of the outdoor stuff (but I still help with the mowing and shovelling when I have time).
So when he says he's bored, I say well there's some laundry that can folded or whatever... then he'll say nah, then hop on the computer.
He works 12 days (12 hours... gets home around 7:30) and then 12 days off. I work Mon-Fri and get home around 5:30, plus run a home based business (usually delivering orders from 6-8 through the week, and various times on the weekend), participate in agility once a week, now plan for a wedding.
So I get frustrated sometimes as well. I would expect a little help on his 12 days off.
| Originally Posted by PhillyBride09 |
Can I just tell you that I can not agree with you more!!!
My FI gets me so mad sometimes and I do feel like his mom.
Don't get me wrong, I love his mother, but I think she shouldn't have done every little thing for him growing up. I think a mother needs to teach their children (not only their sons) responsibilty early on. Don't just do everything for them. Let them be kids too, but they should know what they need to do around the house on a daily basis.
I always say to my mom that if I have a Son or Sons that they are going to learn early on how to do chores, & even cook.
They are going to learn things that will allow them to live on their own and not depend on some girl to come along and think she has to "train" him..Like I have trained my FI..LOL
I know that every child gets spoiled to some extent, but I plan to be a hard ass when it comes to things like that.
I seriously think it all stems back to how they were raised and really...Their Mothers!!
Tell your FI that you don't remember "Applying" for this Job he thinks you have and the last time you checked it was 2009, not 1920.
And also politely remind him that the more relaxed you are, the Happier you will be and you and him will be able to spend more "time" together if he helps you out..LOL That should work :-)
I tried to tell him that if they were my jobs he could pay me to do them, $20 for each load of laundry, $1 per dish washed etc. He didn't like that either...