10 replies to this topic

[Geralyn]

I have been feeling really depressed the last week or so. I think it's a combination of the stress of the wedding (getting really close and still have so much to do) and losing my father at New Years. I cry everyday for no reason. I feel like I should be super excited with the wedding coming up but it's hard to feel that way when my mom, my sister and I are so upset over losing my father

[deefalvey]

Geralyn,
I lost my mom 3 and a half years ago, and I remember feeling the same way. The first 6 months I just dove into work to keep my mind busy and off of things and then after that I really went donwhill - sad, depressed and crying ALL THE TIME!!! I turned into the worlds biggest bitch to FI (we weren't engaged at the time, and how we stayed together is a true testament to how much he loves me). I went to therapy for a little bit and it helped, but it wasn't until I found a girlfriend who had been through the same thing and had felt the same thing that I really felt better.

You are just greiving sweetheart, and it will get easier. I am dreading my wedding day without my mom, but I know I will get through that too...let me know if I can do anything for you

Hugs
Deanna

[YoursTruly]

AWW your grief just touches me. I can't imagine or say I know exactly how you feel, however, I do know what it is to lose someone close to a life changing event. U cannot place a timeframe on grieving. Take comfort in knowing your dad would want you to be overjoyed and will be there with you in spirit..never apologize for the way you feel or the ways in which you grieve. Sending you hugs...

[Geralyn]

Thanks guys. FI has been really good through this whole think but he doesn't really understand what I'm going through and doesn't understand why I just start crying for no reason. Then I get irrationally angry and take it out on him...then I feel really bad for putting him through this.

[~Stephanie~]

I have not lost a parent yet and therefore I can't even begin to know how you feel, I can only imagine and I'm sure that doesn't even compare. No one can tell you how fast to heal and you need to take whatever time is right for you. In the meantime if you do not have anyone close to you that you can talk to other than your family it might be a good idea to try some counseling, or even write out your feelings in a letter to your father about how much you miss him and love him, it might help with the greiving process. I'm sure your father will still be with you on your wedding day as I imagine he is everyday.

Hugs to you, we are here whenever you need us.

[Yari]

I can't even imagine what you are feeling or going through.

I am so sorry you even have to deal with this, unfortunately life takes us on a wild ride at times.

Just take it day by day and think and why you are getting married in two months. I am sure it's because you are deeply in love with the man of your dreams. Try to remember this is your special day and it's okay to be selfish and think about yourself. You probably feel guilty feeling all excited about your wedding, especially when your sister and mom and so gloom. Just remember your dad is going to be at your wedding looking down at you from heaven. You will be with people that love and respect you and your future husband. This will be the best day of your life!

[JaimeLynne]

Oh gosh, honey - I'm so sorry! That is a lot to deal with. I've also had a lot of extra non-wedding related stress in my life and it just seems to make the wedding related stuff even worse!

What always helps me is to vent away on here (sometimes I even seem to end up talking to myself, but it helps all the same ). At 3 months I had a huge breakdown, and have been having some mini ones recently. Lists help a lot. I know it seems obvious, but they do.

have you thought about counseling to deal with this grief and loss you are experiencing? My Mom passed away when I was 17 so it's been a long time, but now that the wedding is coming up some of those feelings are also resurfacing. We go to counseling together about every other week and it just helps to TALK it out! (who woulda thought paying someone to just sit there and listen would be SO beneficial?! lol).

Big hugs to you... this can't be easy, and not gonna pretend like I know exactly what you're going through. But hang in there and make sure to reach out for support when you need it (even if it's just online through this forum).

[Geralyn]

You guys are the best...thank you for all your kind words...FI came home from work with a rose for me because he knew I was upset...gotta love him! <3 Since my Dad died I have good days and then I have days like today when I can't stop crying. I think I'm also at that 3 month freak out mark...I feel like I have sooo much to do!! We are going away for a long weekend this weekend to FI's Dads upstate house...hopefully that will help me relax a little. Nature and quiet = very peaceful

[uspoiledme]

Oh my gosh, Geralyn. I've been thru some rough times lately. I have 4 family members that were all diagnosed with cancer within the last three years (including my mom and her sister) and it has been very hard for me to deal with, especially this last year.
I was having huge meltdowns, but I went to counseling and...... Wow! It has helped tremendously.
I was engaged for six months before I could muster enough strength to start planning. I feel much better now and I can actually make it through weeks at a time without having a melt down.
So there's hope. I'm a huge fan of counseling!
Group hug from your best destination wedding family.

[Geralyn]

uspoiledme...I am also a huge fan of counseling and have gone in the past...i have been thinking of going to bereavment counseling...it's just another thing to add to the list...maybe after the wedding I can focus on that