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Small wedding - ppl assume they are invited


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#21 Hartyt509

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    Posted 13 April 2009 - 05:43 PM

    I had that from some ex-family members lol FI pushed me out the door before I could say look forward to it all you like you aren't invited lol

    You do have to say look I really appreciate all the attention but you aren't invited and leave it at that lol I have one friend that keeps going over and over and over again about how it's expensive and it's people's holidays - I eventually said yeah I know that's why I didn't invite you! that shut her up lol

    You've just got to be straight and stick to your decision

    #22 BillysBride

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      Posted 13 April 2009 - 06:50 PM

      I actually think it's a compliment and not rude. That is NOT saying you should feel obligated to invite them..not at all. I just think that anyone who thinks they are friendly enough that an invite is a given says a lot about the type of feelings you inspire.

      I'd stick with a straight forward "It's going to be very small." and let people figure it out themselves. When they don't get an invite, they will think back to that explaination and say "Oh, wow. She really did mean small" instead of "That bitch!" like they might if you go with "We're only inviting close friends and family"...afterall, to me that just says "You are not close enough." lol But that's just me and I'm notorious for worrying too much about other's feelings when I shouldn't.
      Savannah

      http://i17.photobuck....inecollage.jpgThe Fab Four (my quads) Meryn, Kellen, Nico & Layla
      http://global.thekno...rs/tt265ad.aspxhttp://www.mywedding...nnah/index.html20 STD's w. pre-lim RSVP sent 6/15/09: 7 "Yes" so far/10 guests total!

      #23 bride7474

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        Posted 13 April 2009 - 08:11 PM

        I absolutely think its rude when they are making you feel obligated to invite them

        #24 islandbride317

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          Posted 14 April 2009 - 06:53 PM

          Preach on, my sisters!

          Yup, I know the feeling, all too well -- I have a dreadful co-worker that I can barely tolerate (nevermind the fact that I've only known her a few months) and she is ALL ABOUT knowing every detail of what I am doing for the wedding! Whenever she sees me looking something up online during my breaks, she's always chiming in with comments like, "No, I don't think that will work, but that's just my opinion as one of the guests"....and I never even suggested whatsoever that she'd be on the invite list! Same things goes for some people from my last job - about 4 will actually be invited and 15 think they will be, simply because I became engaged while I was still working there and they said "Congratualtions!"

          Those joining us in Jamaica for the wedding itself will be small in numbers, mostly becuase people will have to pay their own way, but it's the AHR that will be my biggest problem. My father's side of the family is somewhat, well, rude and crass, and I really would prefer not to invite them if I want to stick to 60 people or under, but I don't want to hurt or offend my father, you know?

          I have to keep reminding myself that my FI and I are the ones paying for the vast majority of this and we shouldn't feel obligated to overextend ourselves to have people there that really aren't close to us!

          Keep your heads up, ladies!
          Christie

          #25 jk1101

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            Posted 14 April 2009 - 06:59 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by islandbride317
            Preach on, my sisters!

            Yup, I know the feeling, all too well -- I have a dreadful co-worker that I can barely tolerate (nevermind the fact that I've only known her a few months) and she is ALL ABOUT knowing every detail of what I am doing for the wedding! Whenever she sees me looking something up online during my breaks, she's always chiming in with comments like, "No, I don't think that will work, but that's just my opinion as one of the guests"....and I never even suggested whatsoever that she'd be on the invite list! Same things goes for some people from my last job - about 4 will actually be invited and 15 think they will be, simply because I became engaged while I was still working there and they said "Congratualtions!"

            You just made me laugh so hard!

            I think people get very excited that we're getting married, and we're having these DWs so they're different and cool and they want to be a part of it. They will get over it. I'm actually glad I'm not working so I don't have to deal with that stuff anymore...now I only talk to my friends who are actually invited, and by the time I have a new job, the guest list is already set!

            #26 islandbride317

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              Posted 14 April 2009 - 07:13 PM

              Thanks, Jerseykitten/Michele! Glad I could make you giggle!

              Sometimes, though, the real joke is how people behave when it comes to things like this, right? While I love and appreciate their enthusiasm, I just feel like when you decide on having a DW, part of the allure is that it can be a less stressful, drama-laden event and I don't want to be put in a position where I have to be the bearer of the "Say What? Oh, you're sooo not invited!" reality check to people I hardly know!

              I envy the position you're in with only having to deal with people you would like to be there to share your moment - lucky lady!

              I guess I'll continue the search for tactful let-downs in the meantime!

              #27 Danyelle

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                Posted 14 April 2009 - 08:54 PM

                Yikes what an awkward position. I hope I don't have to deal with that much. I intend to have family and a few close friends and that's it. No AHR either.

                #28 bride7474

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                  Posted 14 April 2009 - 08:55 PM

                  I am glad that I have an incredibly small family. So far I haven't had to deal with any family drama, just drama at work. I can't stand being put in akward positions. I basically started drawing myself away from the girl at work who is really in my face about the wedding.

                  #29 drtracy

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                    Posted 14 April 2009 - 10:45 PM

                    I've been there too... I've used the resort as an excuse. I usually say that we HAVE to keep it small, the resort won't accommodate parties over whatever, so we're just inviting family... Yes, I'm a coward, I don't want to just say, "I don't like you."

                    #30 silverangel

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                      Posted 15 April 2009 - 12:13 AM

                      We had originally planned to invite 10...just immediate family and our 2 best friends...I wanted close and intimate...and now it looks like we may be inviting 50! Everyone assumes they are invited and I'm having a hard time telling them FAMILY ONLY! It really is a tough situation, but as they say...only half will show...so I guess we're looking at 25.




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