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It happened to me! Guest ignoring *lack* of "and family" on the invite


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#1 lolkitteh

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    Posted 13 April 2009 - 05:09 AM

    Didn't think this would happen, but an RSVP I received last week indicated that one of my guests, a good friend, ignored the lack of "and family" (the invite was addressed to Mr & Mrs only) and wrote in a total attendance of 5 on the RSVP. I don't mind the kids being around for the weekend or for our after-event parties, but FI and I decided that the ceremony and reception would have to be adult only.

    They live way out of town in a diff time zone, so it's not like I can tell them in person - going to have to handle it through email or some such.

    Sigh. It's not like they don't know invitation etiquette (or at least, I thought they did) - they are one of the last folks I would have thought to ignore addressing details like this.

    #2 michellepicksbrent

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      Posted 13 April 2009 - 07:07 AM

      Oh dear! We have the same concerns, thankfully this has not happend to us....yet...*knocks on wood* Hopefully you are able to resolve the situation without a lot of trouble.

      #3 tylersgirl

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        Posted 13 April 2009 - 08:11 AM

        I am getting nervous that this will happen to me. I do not want kids at my at home reception at all. Good luck handling this

        #4 Jennifer Davis

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          Posted 13 April 2009 - 08:58 AM

          I'm sorry you are in an awkward situation. It would definitley be better to call if you can try and arrange it into your schedule. I wouldn't stress too much. Most of these resorts have babysitting service available.

          To avoid this happening to you again, could you maybe put some verbiage on your website or send out a distribution email advising that the ceremony and reception are adults only? Put the informtion in the note about the babysitting service and cost offered by the resort. Make it a positive informational thing rather than a "NO KIDS" thing.

          Good luck!

          #5 Jamaica0619

          Jamaica0619
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            Posted 13 April 2009 - 09:09 AM

            I am having the opposite problem. We invited the kids to our DW and AHR. However, we have to keep calling friends/family becuase they are not indicating on the RSVP if the kids are coming or not. And, a few did not realize the kids were invited until I pointed out that I wrote the kids names on the interior envelope.

            So, while we have different problems, I can sympathize.
            Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend. ~ Albert Camas

            #6 jk1101

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              Posted 13 April 2009 - 09:11 AM

              I'm crossing my fingers that this doesn't happen to me. I was really specific on the STDs to invite "John & Jane" and not The Doe Family. We really didn't want families at our DW. Let us know how it works out!

              #7 tguerre

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                Posted 13 April 2009 - 09:21 AM

                We specifically put a line on our RSVP so we would know how many kids would be at the DW or hometown ceremony. Our caterer for the DW doesn't count kids ages 3-11 in the price. We also wanted to know for our hometown reception so we could plan the food accordingly. We are getting a jumper for the hometown wedding to keep the kids entertained. Should be a blast.

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                #8 CaboBride2010

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                  Posted 13 April 2009 - 09:53 AM

                  just my two cents, but I have been only to wedding when I was a kid, and so I dont know "invitation etiquette" and would have not known it was an adults only event unless you wrote that on the invitation. maybe just send an email or write on your website that it is adult only for the wedding and reception, but for anything future just be specific what you want to happen and dont assume people understand, this might help and in the end cause you less stress when sorting out little kinks in your planning, KWIM?

                  #9 lynnmb1021

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                    Posted 13 April 2009 - 10:12 AM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by tguerre
                    We specifically put a line on our RSVP so we would know how many kids would be at the DW or hometown ceremony. Our caterer for the DW doesn't count kids ages 3-11 in the price. We also wanted to know for our hometown reception so we could plan the food accordingly. We are getting a jumper for the hometown wedding to keep the kids entertained. Should be a blast.

                    Click the image to open in full size.
                    Great idea for the RSVP card! I would like our Jamaican wedding to be adults only and then will welcome children at our back home reception. I've talked to my friends who have kids and they said they are not planning on bringing them to Jamaica but it sounds like you can never assume! I think it will be easy to specify/clarify this on the RSVP card if I use a similar format!
                    Thanks!

                    #10 DRB

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                      Posted 13 April 2009 - 10:24 AM

                      Since these guests have already sent the RSVP with their kids on it do you have a family member who could speak to them about it? That way it would be a lot less awkward for you. I know that the same thing is happening with my friend's wedding and the mother of the groom is talking to the guests. In this case though they think that it's more of a culture thing since his family is European and they always assume that kids are invited but the bride's non-Euro family thought that it would be rude to put no kids on the invite.




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