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HELP! Parents don't want to travel to Jamaica

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#1 sherryl_joy

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    Posted 08 April 2009 - 10:08 PM

    So, my parents (mainly my dad) has expressed his unwillingness to travel to Jamaica for our wedding. He would prefer, as would my mom, that we have our wedding in our local church. My mom is willing to travel as long as we have a Catholic ceremony but my dad is bit harder to convince. He just started a new job and does not want to ask for a week off, even though our wedding is a year and a half away!! He's the type who just works and works and does not take any time off work, even vacations, unless he's sick or injured. He's not much for traveling, unless you count long drives to Buffalo or Niagara Falls...LOL

    Does anyone have any suggestions on how to work around this, how to help convince him or how to satisfy the parents' requirement for a Catholic wedding? We are planning on the ROR but now it looks like we have to look for a Catholic Church to have the ceremony and wondering if it's possible to have the reception only at the ROR? Can we still get the free wedding package or do we need it at all? I read on the ROR website that they do not do Catholic weddings in Jamaica.

    Am so stressed out and destination weddings are supposed to be stress-free!! Aaaarrggghhhhh!!! LOL


    #2 tmemise

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      Posted 08 April 2009 - 10:18 PM


      I understand your fustration. My parents want to go off and do other things. They now want to goto kingston for a few days instead of being at the resort!AHHHH. I know there is a church not to far from the ROR, but i don't know if they will give you a free reception if you don't do the wedding there. I would email Chandlyn just to make sure.

      #3 starchild



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        Posted 08 April 2009 - 10:25 PM

        This is always difficult. It sort of comes down to what matters more to you - doing it your way or sacrificing some of what you want so that your parents are pleased. I don't think there is a right or wrong answer because some people aren't that close with their parents so they don't mind so much if they aren't there or happy, and some people are very close with their parents so they bend a little to have them there and comfortable.

        I guess I would suggest to figure out where you fit in there and go with your instinct. Also, I hope your parents can consider your wishes and bend a little themselves. Good luck :)

        #4 YoursTruly

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          Posted 08 April 2009 - 10:54 PM

          I think that you have to decide first and foremost what you can live with. Can you afford to have a catholic wedding? Will it matter if you do not have your DW? Also are your parents assisting you with the plans financially and is the reason for your willingness to consider having the ceremony here in the states.

          #5 m_willis22

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            Posted 09 April 2009 - 08:11 AM

            i feel that parents that do not want you to have a dw pull out all the stops to get you to have the wedding they want you to have. this is your dad, he loves you, and he will be there. like you said, your wedding is a year away and i am sure his new job will let him have the time off.

            if having a dw is what you really want, do it. he will come around.

            #6 Blkatz

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              Posted 09 April 2009 - 09:13 AM

              In the beginning we were planning on getting legally married by our rabbi so our parents could see it and then go to Mexico for our real ceremony. Have you thought about just having your parents at your church for your legal ceremony?
              Maybe your dad can come down for a long weekend, like Friday-Monday?

              #7 JUSTUSTWO


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                Posted 09 April 2009 - 09:21 AM

                Originally Posted by Blkatz
                In the beginning we were planning on getting legally married by our rabbi so our parents could see it and then go to Mexico for our real ceremony. Have you thought about just having your parents at your church for your legal ceremony?
                Maybe your dad can come down for a long weekend, like Friday-Monday?
                I was going to suggest the same thing. Can you have a small church wedding at home even if its just with your parents where you can have a Catholic ceremony which I guess can be considered your "legal day", then have your "real" DW in Jamaica as you want.

                I know its a tough spot to be in & easier said than done & no one wants to exclude or upset their parents, but I would definitely go with what you want to do. If you & your FI truly want a DW then go for it as you are the ones who have to really be happy with the final decision.

                #8 *Karla*

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                  Posted 09 April 2009 - 10:52 AM

                  Ditto on what Blkatz and JustUsTwo said. You could have a small private Catholic Ceremony at your home church with just your parents, then have a ceremony at ROR. In the end, it is your wedding. If a DW is really what you want, your parents will come around. Just talk with them and explain your desire to have a DW and what it would mean to you and your FI.

                  #9 binzer

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                    Posted 09 April 2009 - 03:16 PM

                    I found this link here and thought it might be helpful. It's for a different spot, but it lays down all the "rules" for having a catholic wedding in Jamaica. It requires a bit of work, but it may actually be good for your dealings with your parents since it requires you to work with your priest back home.

                    I think a Jamaican WC is probably your best resource right now (outside of ROR if ROR can't accommodate Catholic weddings). Or, as others have said, you can have two ceremonies.

                    Whatever you decide, don't worry, your parents will show up! Especially initially your parents may be resistant or complain (because they're hoping they can change your mind) but once you have your plans in motion I'm sure they'll come around (at least enough to keep you from going crazy).


                    #10 sherryl_joy

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                      Posted 10 April 2009 - 01:18 AM

                      Wow, thanks everyone...all the advice have been really great and have really given me a lot of things to think about.

                      The reason the FI and I wanted a destination wedding was because we figured it would be way cheaper and less stress on everyone...we were even willing to pay for both sets of parents and we would cover the cost for everything...no one else had to lift a finger or worry about cost, they just have to show up and have fun...who doesn't want that, right?

                      We have actually thought about having a very small and intimate Catholic ceremony at home first but are worried that it will just get away from us and would start getting bigger and bigger when trying to figure out who to invite...also, does that mean that the ceremony we would have in Jamaica is just a Renewal of Vows? I would most likely be getting married there without my parents since it will give them the excuse they need not to attend, seeing as how they have already witnesses us getting married at home...every bride wants their wedding day to be perfect and somehow, not having your parents there or not having your dad to give you away just makes it feel like there would be something missing...

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