I'm getting married to an idiot....
Posted 07 April 2009 - 03:57 PM
Anyways he got laid off in Dec and I told him NO bike until he has a new job and we know we can pay our bills.
I am sure it wont be too long.
BTW if my FI went and spent $3200 of OUR $$ on fixing his car while only contributing $800 to bills. I would NOT marry him. That would piss me off beyond the point of return.
Posted 07 April 2009 - 04:09 PM
| Originally Posted by Duchess |
My solution is that DH and I dont keep all of our money together. We have a joint account for bills and things that we split, the rest is our own. I personally think its a very modern way to eliminate the biggest fight in most marriages. Plus, its not the time anymore where women dont have their own money. I make plenty, and dont want him to have anything to say about it when I buy shoes. Except that I am out of closet space, that he can say! And if he wants to lend money to deadbeats or buy video games, whatev!!!
Posted 07 April 2009 - 09:49 PM
It may sound like we are overly involved in what we spend, but on the other hand we never fight about money b/c there are absolutely no surprises. I should point out that my DH is a financial service rep at a bank and I check our accounts daily as well as pay our bills so both of us our very involved in the finances.
I'm not sure if putting some of the responsibility back on your FI would open his eyes to the reality of his spending, but sharing the responsibilty of paying the bills may be a start....
Posted 08 April 2009 - 12:38 AM
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Posted 08 April 2009 - 01:21 AM
I never thought I would be competing with an inanimate object!!!!
Posted 08 April 2009 - 08:03 AM
To update things he has apologized again and everything's cool here. His problem is peer pressure. Go figure! His friend had his bike out and he had to get his out too. I thought that we left all of this in high school! I guess it really never leaves us. Mike is a sweetheart and he doesn't intentionally kep things from me. We've never fought about money before. This is the first time in the 10 years we are together. We've always had the belief that his money is my money and vice versa. We've only has one account since we moved in together and things have been fine. Just with the wedding and trying to save the the thing I've been stressing about money. Sorry to make everyone think that he's bad but he's not! I just had a freak out and had to vent and I knew that you ladies would understand
Posted 08 April 2009 - 04:24 PM
Posted 19 April 2009 - 08:07 PM
I've just made the decision to treat him like a child in this department. When he shows a tad bit more maturity, I'll potty train him and let him have his piggy bank back.
http://i17.photobuck....inecollage.jpgThe Fab Four (my quads) Meryn, Kellen, Nico & Layla
http://global.thekno...rs/tt265ad.aspxhttp://www.mywedding...nnah/index.html20 STD's w. pre-lim RSVP sent 6/15/09: 7 "Yes" so far/10 guests total!
Posted 23 April 2009 - 02:43 PM
| Originally Posted by soccergurl3 |
Wow this is Exactly like my FI. He got laid off from work about 2 months ago and ever since then has been laying around the house doing nothing. He gets a measly $350 a week from EI and thinks that giving me $100 of that for bills is suffice. As soon as he got laid off he called me one morning and said his car broke down and needed to go into the shop. It's been 5 weeks alreadya nd no car so I asked him how long it takes to fix a broken car! He said oh another week. So another week comes around and he finally gets his car back....NEW paint job and all of a sudden his car went from a Automatic to a standard....WTF. So i asked him how much it cost and he told me $500.00. WHich I thought was fishy so I went onto his online banking and he took out $3200 dollars for this fricken car. I seriously was shaking beyond no belief. He hasn't had a job since Novemeber because he was laid off and then he went to school for a trade for 2 months in January and hasn't had a job ever since. So the grand total of his contribution in giving me money ....$800.00 in 5 months. I am seriously thinking about backing out of marrying him. Isn't the man supposed to support the woman? and did i forget to mention we have a 2 year old son! I am jsut so livid with his spending habits and his car obssession that I am seriously thinking of calling it quits!
And on top of that I work 10 hours a day and am completely stressed because the two ladies higher up then me got laid off and now I have to take over there jobs. Then I come home make dinner completely take care of the son by myself while he just sits on his Lazy ass the whole night......I am so sorry about the ranting but I am FUMING RIGHT NOW!!!
He had $28K in defaulted student loans, bad credit cards and worked for his Dad for several years getting paid under the table. There were periods of 4 or 5 months where he wouldn't work at all. The worst part is we (and by that I mean I) HAD the money to be paying on all of those debts-and I would have done it in a heartbeat!! He had this really strange view of money, one of those conspiracy theories about the government owing the people, ect ect. His father spends his whole life looking for ways to cheat the system, from one shady deal to the next.
I knew some of this when we first got serious but not all of it until a couple years in and because I loved him so much it was hard to pull the plug. But, when I wanted to purchase a home and realized he would never be able to share that responsibility with me and when I began to think about children I realized I did not want them to grow up with this influence. It was the hardest thing I've ever done to leave him but I'm so glad I did.
I joke now with my FI that I would never have agreed to marry him if I hadn't seen his credit report. And it's partly true..
Good luck and remember, you and your FI are the example your child will follow!
Posted 25 April 2009 - 12:23 PM
Every day I drive to work thankful that I have a job. We both have our 6 months of SAVINGS incase either one of us was to be handed a pink slip. Sleeping is much easier when you know you have something to fall back on.
While we might think buying/upkeeping a motorcycle is stupid (my FI has motorcycle - not that I mind) a wedding from their persepctive might be equally as dumb. I'm sure plenty of the guys think it's dumb to spend a lot of money on ONE day when they could be golfing, riding, jet skiing, etc for days on end. Don't approach it as an item, approach it as a behavior.
Both parties need to be involved in the day to day books of keeping the household afloat. As a Dave Ramsey and Suze Orman disciple, things just work better that way in our house.
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