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My Inconsiderate Family - Need Help ASAP


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#1 lil_miss_frogg

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    Posted 06 April 2009 - 01:17 PM

    Okay, back in November my family got together in Kansas for my Grandma's Birthday and Thanksgiving. Well we came to an agreement that we would hold a family reunion this year and we would share 3 houses....grand total of a week for three houses $83,000 split that between 20 familes that is about $4,150 per family for the week. EVERYBODY said that would be fine. So my uncle put down $8,000 of his own money to reserve these three houses for the week....thinking everybody was going to stay in these houses. So....our reunion is in July....5 people have backed out saying they don't want to stay in the houses with everybody and have booked thier own cabins. So, my uncle is furious (as would I) because if they had voiced thier concerns in November about this we would have discussed going a different route for the family reunion. Well, my uncle gave my mom 1 week to come up with something else. I need help of anybody that is in the florida panhandle that can get me information or contact info for condos in any area on the panhandle....I am so upset with my family right now.

    And to top it off my mom said if we can't arrange it for this year we will just plan the family reunion to be the same week of your wedding then you can have your family be there.....um....point of having a DW was to have a small wedding....not 150 just on my side....and if we invite my family we have to invite FI family as well.....wtf!

    HELP!

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    #2 Soon To Be Mrs. Gomez

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      Posted 06 April 2009 - 01:53 PM

      Oh Wow! That would cause me stress. I think sometimes people aren't that considerate when it comes to DW. They want to make whatever is easier for them. Put your foot down if you have to. You are the bride and your wishes should be respected and your plans should not be altered unless you want them to be.

      #3 yamille

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        Posted 06 April 2009 - 02:12 PM

        Oh no. I'm sorry that this is causing you stress. I think you should tell your mom NOW that having the entirre family was not part of your plan and that you wanted something intimate. I understand it is a solution in a way to the larger problem but I think you need to tell her how you feel before she starts telling anybody els in the family.

        ugh.. so not what you need.

        #4 Betsy

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          Posted 06 April 2009 - 02:20 PM

          That sucks! First of all, I would say right now NO to the family reunion at your wedding. We all have heard those "family reunion stories" and I highly doubt that's what you want to remember your wedding by! It totally sucks that everyone is backing out on your uncle right now, but it's not YOUR fault! And I don't think you should have to have a family reunion at your wedding WTF!!! Good Luck girl!

          #5 lil_miss_frogg

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            Posted 06 April 2009 - 02:25 PM

            The only thing I was surprised about is the fact that she offered to help pay for the wedding if we were to invite everbody to it. I would actually LOVE to have our families there, it was mainly the cost of everything. Because we are paying cash for everything it was just easier to have a small DW.
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            #6 Hartyt509

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              Posted 06 April 2009 - 02:55 PM

              Well tell her to stump up all the cash for the extra guests from both sides and see if that stops her in her tracks lol

              #7 BachataBride

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                Posted 06 April 2009 - 03:04 PM

                First off I would just like to say BOOOOO to inconsiderate family!!! We stopped making plans for everyone else...family or not, you can just not depend on people when money is involved! We have never planned on that large of a scale, but we still no longer put deposits down for people - we've been burned too many times! We just make our own arrangements & if people want to come along, great!
                Secondly....JUST SAY NO to a family reunion wedding!! LOL
                Seriously...it's your day, not the families! SILs wedding last year was like a family reunion since almost everyone on her dad & mom's side came to the wedding...but it was not planned as a FR...and no wedding should be. If you are ok with this & want your mom to foot the bill then it is your decision...but you may regret it.
                Good luck!!

                #8 Cattie

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                  Posted 06 April 2009 - 04:22 PM

                  Check out Home away from home. Also, google rental homes in the area you want to have this. I've rented houses many times and it was never that expensive. You can specify how many bedrooms and ect you want.

                  #9 lil_miss_frogg

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                    Posted 06 April 2009 - 05:17 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by BachataBride
                    First off I would just like to say BOOOOO to inconsiderate family!!! We stopped making plans for everyone else...family or not, you can just not depend on people when money is involved! We have never planned on that large of a scale, but we still no longer put deposits down for people - we've been burned too many times! We just make our own arrangements & if people want to come along, great!
                    Secondly....JUST SAY NO to a family reunion wedding!! LOL
                    Seriously...it's your day, not the families! SILs wedding last year was like a family reunion since almost everyone on her dad & mom's side came to the wedding...but it was not planned as a FR...and no wedding should be. If you are ok with this & want your mom to foot the bill then it is your decision...but you may regret it.
                    Good luck!!

                    Something I have concidered, but may appear rude, is to have my wedding during the week of the FR and only give invites those that I want to come to the wedding. Also, if we do this we will have to change location of the wedding to somewhere that can handle larger weddings/FR. So we may switch to somewhere in the panhandle of Florida. I am so confused....as I would LOVE to have my family there and the extra $$$ for the wedding....but is it what I REALLLLLLY want? I don't know! Another thing is, if we do this we wouldn't be able to afford to do our planned AHR for our friends. Which is something we really wanted to do. I am so torn...but so far the bad totally outweighs the good! I don't know!
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                    #10 YoursTruly

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                      Posted 07 April 2009 - 10:39 AM

                      wow sounds like a mjor quagmire....i say start from the top with your options. weigh each option along with the pros and cons and of course the budget. If it does not make sense and poses a financial strain, rule it out. You get married once in most cases, family reunion will come around again.




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